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But to my notable facts。 I have found out to…night two things which surprise me。 One is that the convict who attempted the life of Mrs。 Frere is none other than the unhappy man whom my fatal weakness caused to be flogged at Port Arthur; and whose face comes before me to reproach me even now。 The other that Mrs。 Carr is an old acquaintance of Frere's。 The latter piece of information I obtained in a curious way。 One night; while Mrs。 Frere was not there; we were talking of clever women。 I broached my theory; that strong intellect in women went far to destroy their womanly nature。
〃Desire in man;〃 said I; 〃should be Volition in women: Reason; Intuition; Reverence; Devotion; Passion; Love。 The woman should strike a lower key…note; but a sharper sound。 Man has vigour of reason; woman quickness of feeling。 The woman who possesses masculine force of intellect is abnormal。〃 He did not half comprehend me; I could see; but he agreed with the broad view of the case。 〃I only knew one woman who was really 'strong…minded'; as they call it;〃 he said; 〃and she was a regular bad one。〃
〃It does not follow that she should be bad;〃 said I。
〃This one was; thoughstock; lock; and barrel。 But as sharp as a needle; sir; and as immovable as a rock。 A fine woman; too。〃 I saw by the expression of the man's face that he owned ugly memories; and pressed him further。 〃She's up country somewhere;〃 he said。 〃Married her assigned servant; I was told; a fellow named Carr。 I haven't seen her for years; and don't know what she may be like now; but in the days when I knew her she was just what you describe。〃 (Let it be noted that I had described nothing。) 〃She came out in the ship with me as maid to my wife's mother。〃
It was on the tip of my tongue to say that I had met her; but I don't know what induced me to be silent。 There are passages in the lives of men of Captain Frere's complexion; which don't bear descanting on。 I expect there have been in this case; for he changed the subject abruptly; as his wife came in。 Is it possible that these two creatures the notable disciplinarian and the wife of the assigned servant could have been more than friends in youth? Quite possible。 He is the sort of man for gross amours。 (A pretty way I am abusing my host!) And the supple woman with the dark eyes would have been just the creature to enthral him。 Perhaps some such story as this may account in part for Mrs。 Frere's sad looks。 Why do I speculate on such things? I seem to do violence to myself and to insult her by writing such suspicions。 If I was a Flagellant now; I would don hairshirt and up flail。 〃For this sort cometh not out but by prayer and fasting。〃
April 7th。Mr。 Pounce has arrivedfull of the importance of his mission。 He walks with the air of a minister of state on the eve of a vacant garter; hoping; wondering; fearing; and dignified even in his dubitancy。 I am as flippant as a school…girl concerning this fatuous official; and yetHeaven knowsI feel deeply enough the importance of the task he has before him。 One relieves one's brain by these whirlings of one's mental limbs。 I remember that a prisoner at Hobart Town; twice condemned and twice reprieved; jumped and shouted with frenzied vehemence when he heard his sentence of death was finally pronounced。 He told me; if he had not so shouted; he believed he would have gone mad。
April 10th。We had a state dinner last night。 The conversation was about nothing in the world but convicts。 I never saw Mrs。 Frere to less advantage。 Silent; distraite; and sad。 She told me after dinner that she disliked the very name of 〃convict〃 from early associations。 〃I have lived among them all my life;〃 she said; 〃but that does not make it the better for me。 I have terrible fancies at times; Mr。 North; that seem half…memories。 I dread to be brought in contact with prisoners again。 I am sure that some evil awaits me at their hands。〃
I laughed; of course; but it would not do。 She holds to her own opinion; and looks at me with horror in her eyes。 This terror in her face is perplexing。
〃You are nervous;〃 I said。 〃You want rest。〃
〃I am nervous;〃 she replied; with that candour of voice and manner I have before remarked in her; 〃and I have presentiments of evil。〃
We sat silent for a while; and then she suddenly turned her large eyes on me; and said calmly; 〃Mr。 North; what death shall I die?〃 The question was an echo of my own thoughtsI have some foolish (?) fancies as to physiognomyand it made me start。 What death; indeed? What sort of death would one meet with widely…opened eyes; parted lips; and brows bent as though to rally fast…flying courage? Not a peaceful death surely。 I brought my black coat to my aid。 〃My dear lady; you must not think of such things。 Death is but a sleep; you know。 Why anticipate a nightmare?〃
She sighed; slowly awaking as though from some momentary trance。 Checking herself on the verge of tears; she rallied; turned the conversation; and finding an excuse for going to the piano; dashed into a waltz。 This unnatural gaiety ended; I fancy; in an hysterical fit。 I heard her husband afterwards recommending sal volatile。 He is the sort of man who would recommend sal volatile to the Pythoness if she consulted him。
April 26th。All has been arranged; and we start to…morrow。 Mr。 Pounce is in a condition of painful dignity。 He seems afraid to move lest motion should thaw his official ice。 Having found out that I am the 〃chaplain〃; he has refrained from familiarity。 My self…love is wounded; but my patience relieved。 Query: Would not the majority of mankind rather be bored by people in authority than not noticed by them? James North declines to answer for his part。 I have made my farewells to my friends; and on looking back on the pleasant hours I have spent; felt saddened。 It is not likely that I shall have many such pleasant hours。 I feel like a vagabond who; having been allowed to sit by a cheerful fireside for a while; is turned out into the wet and windy streets; and finds them colder than ever。 What were the lines I wrote in her album?
〃As some poor tavern…haunter drenched in wine With staggering footsteps through the streets returning; Seeing through blinding rain a beacon shine From household lamp in happy window burning;
〃Pauses an instant at the reddened pane To gaze on that sweet scene of love and duty; Then turns into the wild wet night again; Lest his sad presence mar its homely beauty。〃
Yes; those were the lines。 With more of truth in them than she expected; and yet what business have I sentimentalizing。 My socius thinks 〃what a puling fool this North is!〃
So; that's over! Now for Norfolk Island and my purgation。
CHAPTER II。
THE LOST HEIR。
The lost son of Sir Richard Devine had returned to England; and made claim to his name and fortune。 In other words; John Rex had successfully carried out the scheme by which he had usurped the rights of his old convict…comrade。
Smoking his cigar in his bachelor lodgings; or pausing in a calculation concerning a race; John Rex often wondered at the strange ease with which he had carried out so monstrous and seemingly difficult an imposture。 After he was landed i