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situation had a vagueness； but the farmer； a man of action rather than
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The Golden Age
words； swung his horse round smartly； and they were in the town again by
the time Harold had recovered himself sufficiently to furnish some details。
As they drove up to the shop； the woman was waiting at the door with the
parcel； and hardly a minute seemed to have elapsed since the black crisis；
ere they were bowling along swiftly home； the precious parcel hugged in a
close embrace。
And now the farmer came out in quite a new and unexpected light。
Never a word did he say of broken fences and hurdles； of trampled crops
and harried flocks and herds。 One would have thought the man had
never possessed a head of live stock in his life。 Instead； he was deeply
interested in the whole dolorous quest of the tea…things； and sympathised
with Harold on the disputed point in mathematics as if he had been
himself at the same stage of education。 As they neared home； Harold
found himself； to his surprise； sitting up and chatting to his new friend like
man to man； and before he was dropped at a convenient gap in the garden
hedge； he had promised that when Selina gave her first public tea…party；
little Miss Larkin should be invited to come and bring ha whole sawdust
family along with her； and the farmer appeared as pleased and proud as if
he hat been asked to a garden…party at Marlborough House。 Really； those
Olympians have certain good points； far down in them。 I shall have to
leave off abusing them some day。
At the hour of five； Selina； having spent the afternoon searching for
Harold in all his accustomed haunts； sat down disconsolately to tea with
her dolls； who ungenerously refused to wait beyond the appointed hour。
The wooden tea…things seemed more chipped than usual； and the dolls
themselves had more of wax and sawdust； and less of human colour and
intelligence about them； than she ever remembered before。 It was then
that Harold burst in； very dusty； his stockings at his heels； and the channels
ploughed by tears still showing on his grimy cheeks； and Selina was at last
permitted to know that he had been thinking of her ever since his ill…
judged exhibition of temper； and that his sulks had not been the genuine
article； nor had he gone frogging by himself。 It was a very happy hostess
who dispensed hospitality that evening to a glassy…eyed stiff…kneed circle；
and many a dollish gaucherie； that would have been severely checked on
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The Golden Age
ordinary occasions； was as much overlooked as if it had been a birthday。
But Harold and I； in our stupid masculine way； thought all her
happiness sprang from possession of the long…coveted tea… service。
〃LUSISTI SATIS 〃
Among the many fatuous ideas that possessed the Olympian noddle；
this one was pre…eminent； that； being Olympians； they could talk quite
freely in our presence on subjects of the closest import to us； so long as
names； dates； and other landmarks were ignored。 We were supposed to
be denied the faculty for putting two and two together； and； like the
monkeys； who very sensibly refrain from speech lest they should be set to
earn their livings； we were careful to conceal our capabilities for a simple
syllogism。 Thus we were rarely taken by surprise； and so were
considered by our disappointed elders to be apathetic and to lack the
divine capacity for wonder。
Now the daily output of the letter…bag； with the mysterious discussions
that ensued thereon； had speedily informed us that Uncle Thomas was
intrusted with a mission；a mission； too； affecting ourselves。 Uncle
Thomas's missions were many and various； a self…important man； one
liking the business while protesting that he sank under the burden； he was
the missionary； so to speak； of our remote habitation。 The matching a
ribbon； the running down to the stores； the interviewing a cook；these and
similar duties lent constant colour and variety to his vacant life in London
and helped to keep down his figure。 When the matter； however； had in
our presence to be referred to with nods and pronouns； with significant
hiatuses and interpolations in the French tongue； then the red flag was
flown； the storm…cone hoisted； and by a studious pretence of inattention
we were not long in plucking out the heart of the mystery。
To clinch our conclusion； we descended suddenly and together on
Martha； proceeding； however； not by simple inquiry as to facts； that
would never have done；but by informing her that the air was full of
school and that we knew all about it； and then challenging denial。
Martha was a trusty soul； but a bad witness for the defence； and we soon
had it all out of her。 The word had gone forth； the school had been
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selected； the necessary sheets were hemming even now； and Edward was
the designated and appointed victim。
It had always been before us as an inevitable bourne； this strange
unknown thing called school； and yetperhaps I should say consequently…
…we had never seriously set ourselves to consider what it really meant。
But now that the grim spectre loomed imminent； stretching lean hands for
one of our flock； it behoved us to face the situation； to take soundings in
this uncharted sea and find out whither we were drifting。 Unfortunately；
the data in our possession were absolutely insufficient； and we knew not
whither to turn for exact information。 Uncle Thomas could have told us
all about it； of course； he had been there himself； once； in the dim and
misty past。 But an unfortunate conviction； that Nature had intended him
for a humourist； tainted all his evidence； besides making it wearisome to
hear。 Again； of such among our contemporaries as we had approached；
the trumpets gave forth an uncertain sound。