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by crying。 Why; I could find you a thousand men who would be ploughed to…morrow with glory and delight to win one such race as your brother has won two。〃
Julia sighed again。 But it sounded now half like a sigh of reliefthe final sigh; with which the fair consent to be consoled。
And indeed this improvement in the music did not escape Hardie。 He felt he was on the right tack: he enumerated fluently; and by name; many good men; besides Dean Swift; who had been ploughed; yet had cultivated the field of letters in their turn; and; in short; he was so earnest and plausible; that something like a smile hovered about his hearer's lips; and she glanced askant at him with furtive gratitude from under her silky lashes。 But it soon recurred to her that this was rather a long interview to accord to 〃a stranger;〃 and under the moon; so she said a little stiffly; 〃And was this what you were good enough to wish to say to me; Mr。 Hardie?〃
〃No; Miss Dodd; to be frank; it was not。 My motive in addressing you; without the right to take such a freedom; was egotistical。 I came here to clear myself; II was afraid you must think me a humbug; you know。〃
〃I do not understand you; indeed。〃
〃Well; I feared you and Mrs。 Dodd might think I praised Dodd so; and did what little I did for him; knowing who you were; and wishing to curry favour with you by all that; and that is so underhand and paltry a way of going to work; I should despise myself。〃
〃Oh; Mr。 Hardie;〃 said the young lady; smiling; 〃How foolish: why; of course; we knew you had no idea。〃
〃Indeed I had not; but how could you know it?〃
〃Why; we saw it。 Do you think we have no eyes? Ah; and much keener ones than gentlemen have。 It is mamma and I who are to blame; if anybody; we ought to have declared ourselves: it would have been more generous; moremanly。 But we cannot all be gentlemen; you know。 It was so sweet to hear Edward praised by one who did not know us; it was like stolen fruit; and by one whom others praise: so; if you can forgive us our slyness; there is an end of the matter。〃
〃Forgive you? you have taken a thorn out of my soul。〃
〃Then I am so glad you summoned courage to speak to me without ceremony。 Mamma would have done better; though; but after all; do not I know her? my mamma is all goodness and intelligence。 And be assured; sir; she does you justice; and is quite sensible of your _disinterested_ kindness to dear Edward。〃 With this she was about to retire。
〃Ah! But you; Miss Dodd? with whom I have taken this unwarrantable liberty?〃 said Hardie imploringly。
〃Me; Mr。 Hardie? You do me the honour to require my opinion of your performances: including of course this self…introduction?〃
Hardie hung his head; there was a touch of satire in the lady's voice; he thought。
Her soft eyes rested demurely on him a moment; she saw he was a little abashed。
〃My opinion of it all is that you have been very kind to us; in being most kind to our poor Edward。 I never saw; nor read of anything more generous; more manly。 And then _so_ thoughtful; _so_ considerate; _so_ delicate! So instead of criticising you; as you seem to expect; his sister only blesses you; and thanks you from the very bottom of her heart。〃
She had begun within a polite composure borrowed from mamma; but; once launched; her ardent nature got the better: her colour rose and rose; and her voice sank and sank; and the last words came almost in a whisper; and such a lovely whisper: a gurgle from the heart; and; as she concluded; her delicate hand came sweeping out with a heaven…taught gesture of large and sovereign cordiality; that made even the honest words and the divine tones more eloquent。 It was too much; the young man; ardent as herself; and not; in reality; half so timorous; caught fire; and seeing a white; eloquent hand rather near him; caught it; and pressed his warm lips on it in mute adoration and gratitude。
At this she was scared and offended。 〃Oh; keep that for the Queen!〃 cried she; turning scarlet; and tossing her fair head into the air; like a startled stag; and she drew her hand away quickly and decidedly; though not roughly。 He stammered a lowly apologyin the very middle of it she said quietly; 〃Good…bye; Mr。 Hardie;〃 and swept; with a gracious little curtsey; through the doorway; leaving him spell…bound。
And so the virginal instinct of self…defence carried her off swiftly and cleverly。 But none too soon; for; on entering the house; that external composure her two mothers Mesdames Dodd and Nature had taught her; fell from her like a veil; and she fluttered up the stairs to her own room with hot cheeks; and panted there like some wild thing that has been grasped at and grazed。 She felt young Hardie's lips upon the palm of her hand plainly; they seemed to linger there still; it was like light but live velvet This; and the ardent look he had poured into her eyes; set the young creature quivering。 Nobody had looked at her so before; and no young gentleman had imprinted living velvet on her hand。 She was alarmed; ashamed; and uneasy。 What right had he to look at her like that? What shadow of a right to go and kiss her hand? He could not pretend to think she had put it out to be kissed; ladies put forth the back of the hand for that; not the palm。 The truth was he was an impudent fellow; and she hated him now; and herself too; for being so simple as to let him talk to her: mamma would not have been so imprudent when she was a girl。
She would not go down; for she felt there must be something of this kind legibly branded on her face: 〃Oh! oh! just look at this young lady! She has been letting a young gentleman kiss the palm of her hand; and the feel has not gone off yet; you may see that by her cheeks。〃
But then; poor Edward! she must go down。
So she put a wet towel to her tell…tale cheeks; and dried them by artistic dabs; avoiding friction; and came downstairs like a mouse; and turned the door…handle noiselessly; and glided into the sitting…room looking so transparent; conscious; and all on fire with beauty and animation; that even Edward was startled; and; in a whisper; bade his mother observe what a pretty girl she was: 〃Beats all the country girls in a canter。〃 Mrs。 Dodd did look; and; consequently; as soon as ever Edward was gone to Oxford; she said to Julia; 〃You are feverish; love; you have been excited with all this。 You had better go to bed。〃
Julia complied willingly; for she wanted to be alone and think。 She retired to her own room; and went the whole day over again; and was happy and sorry; exalted and uneasy; by turns; and ended by excusing Mr。 Hardie's escapade; and throwing the blame on herself。 She ought to have been more distant; gentlemen were not expected; nor indeed much wanted; to be modest。 A little assurance did not misbecome them。 〃Really; I think it sets them off;〃 said she to herself。
Grand total: 〃What _must_ he think of me?〃
Time gallops in reverie: the town clock struck twelve; and with its iron tongue remorse entered her youthful conscience。 Was this obeying mamma? Mamma had said; 〃Go to bed:〃 not; 〃Go upstairs and meditate: upon young gentlemen。〃 She gave an expressive shake of her fair shoulders; like a swan flapping the water off