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selfish wishes。 Oh！ the grief He has sent me！ Oh！ the fiery trials！
Oh！ the shattered hopes！ How I love Him for this！ 〃Whom the Lord
loveth He chasteneth and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth。〃
There are pages in my life that have had much to do in bringing me in
sympathy with the fallen tempted natures。 These I cannot write； but let
no erring； sinful man or woman think that Carry Nation would not understand
this； for Carry Nation is a sinner saved by grace and I know He
can save to the uttermost； all that come unto Him。 〃Heaven is made for
redeemed sinners and hell for the proud and disobedient。〃 When I
see the proud glance； the boastful manner； the display of； 〃I am better
than thou；〃 I feel pity and commiseration for the poor dying creature and
see 〃behind the face a grinning skull〃。 I like the companionship of the
servant in the kitchen more than the mistress in the parlor。 I covet the
humblest walk。 I wish for the power； often； to make the rich take back
seats； and give the front to the poor； the crippled； the lame and the blind。
I will not have a piece of fine furniture。 I have no carpets on my floors。
I have two small rooms in Topeka in the building I desire to give to
the W。 C。 T。 U。 for prohibition work。 The little cupboard I use is made
of a dry…goods box； with shelves in it； a curtain in front。 My dishes；
all told； kitchen and dining…room； are not worth five dollars。 This is what
the poor have； and better than some have。 It is good enough。 It is better
than my blessed Lord had。 I desire nothing better。 I would feel like
a reprobate to fill my room with expensive furniture； using money I could
feed the hungry with； clothe the naked； doing things that would please
my Lord。 What a change！ I used to delight in cut…glass； china； plush；
velvet and lace。 Now I can say vanity of vanity； all is vanity！〃 There
may be almost selfishness in this eager desire I have to give away the
means that are at my disposal。 What I use or leave behind will never
be placed to my credit in the bank of heaven。 What we give away for
the love of God and our neighbor is all we take with us。 I will be so
delighted with a home that I can call mine； forever。 I like nice wearing
apparel but I will not be deceived by spending my time and means for
that which will hinder me from having them where moth and rust doth
not corrupt and where thieves do not break through and steal。 So I
wish to make to myself friends of the mammon of unrighteousness and
not enemies； for the hoarded dollars are bitter foes that will be witnesses
against these rich men at That Day。 I am praying that God may send
me means to carry out a plan to save Kansas from traitors。 The state has
made herself a name； that will endure forever； because she began a warfare
against a government at a time when few were wise enough to see
that this revolution meant defiance to the rum…soaked republican rule。
Every moral reform is a protest against this government we live under。
What does the W。 C。 T。 U。 mean？ The mothers banding themselves together
to prevent the Government from slaughtering them。
From the beginning of my Christian experience I have devoted myself
to the poor。 I prayed God to give me opportunity to be helpful to
those who were destitute of the comforts of life。 The people of Medicine
Lodge were so good to aid me。 I could go to the stores and ask
for flour； sugar and different kinds of eatables and get them。 There
was one man I never asked in vain； when I wished aid for the poor；
that was C。 Q。 Chandler； a man who was able to help。 I have taken
poor children to his house and he has given me orders at the dry…goods
stores to clothe them； so they could attend school。 He has given me
money frequently to get fuel and clothes for those who needed them。 One
Christmas he wrote me a letter； asking me for the names of all the poor
ones and asking me to name something they needed。 I did； and all got
something useful。 Such men are worthy to be stewards of God's
treasury。
For years I made it my duty； every fall； to go from house to house
to gather clothes for the poor families； wash women and others who
had not time to sew for their children。 I never allowed a child to
stay out of day or Sunday school； for want of clothes。 I would sort
out these clothes and distribute as needed。 Persons would say； 〃I
would be afraid I would make people angry。〃 I said if every one feels
that way I will say： 〃You are not the one I am sent to。〃 I never hurt
any ones feelings by offering them these things。
There was a family by the name of French who came into a neighborhood
about three miles from town。 I heard they were destitute。 I
filled my buggy and went there and sure enough they were sadly in
need。 I brought the things in just such as was needed。 The family was
large。 The woman cried like her heart would break； just for gratitude；
she could not thank me enough。 It takes so little to make some people
happy。
I read of a miserable miser once who was on the verge of suicide
by the side of a river。 A little girl came to him saying： 〃Please sir；
my mother is sick and hungry。 Please give me something so I can get
her something to eat。〃 The man said within himself： 〃I will do this
for the child before I die。〃 He went to a bakershop and got her a full
basket。 Then she looked so weak he carried it home to her mother。 The
poor woman on the pallet of straw； kissed his hands and blessed him。
He thought of the money he might use to make people happy。 He concluded
he would use it before he died for he had enjoyed for the first
time in his life the peace that comes from giving。 After this his life was
a blessing to himself and others。 He had found the best use of life。
I once read of a beautiful story of one of the early fathers of the
church。 He gave away everything even to sufficient clothes to keep himself
warm。 A rich kind hearted woman made him a coat of fur very
expensive。 Next time she saw him he did not have it。 〃Where is that
coat father；〃 she asked。 He replied： 〃I thought so much of it I laid
it up in heaven。 Where moth and rust doth not corrupt and where
thieves do not break through and steal。〃 He had given it to the first
shivering man he met。
CHAPTER VIII。
THE DIVINE CALL。THE JOINT DRUGGIST OF MEDICINE LODGE。BEER A POISON。
DOCTORS MAKE DRUNKARDS。SMASHING AT KIOWA。ATTITUDE OF SOME
W。 C。 T。 U。'S OF KANSAS。SUIT FOR SLANDER。SMASHING AT WICHITA。
CONSPIRACY OF THE REPUBLICANS TO PUT ME IN THE INSANE ASYLUM。
SUFFERINGS IN JAIL AT WICHITA。SLANDERS FROM THE RUM…SOAKED
PAPERS OF KANSAS。
At the time these dives were open； contrary to the statutes of our
state； the officers were really in league with this lawless element。 I was
heavily burdened and could see 〃the wicked walking on every side； and
the vilest men exalted。〃 I was ridiculed and my work was called 〃meddler〃
〃crazy；〃 was pointed at as a fanatic。 I spent much time in tears；
prayer and fasting。 While not a Roman Catholic； I have practiced abstinence
from meat on Friday； for Christ suffered on that day； and 'tis well
for us to suffer。 I also use the sign of the cross； for it is medicine to
the soul to be reminded of His sufferings。 Jesu