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society of those I love； a foretaste of what this could be。 For years
I never saw a loving husband that I did not envy the wife； it was a
cry of my heart for love。 I used to ask God why He denied me this。
I can see now why it was。 I know it was God's will for me to marry
Mr。 Nation。 Had I married a man I could have loved； God could never
have used me。 Phrenologists who have examined my head have said：
〃How can you； who are such a lover of home be without one？〃 The very
thing that I was denied caused me to have a desire to secure it to others。
Payne who wrote 〃Home Sweet Home〃 never had one。 There is in my
life a cause of sadness and bitter sorrow that God only knows。 I shall not
write it here。 Oh！ how the heart will break almost for a loving word！
I believe the great want of the world is love。 Jesus came to bring love to
earth。
During these severe afflictions I began to see how little there was in
life。 I wondered at the gaiety of people。 Seemed like a pall hung over the
earth。 I would wonder that the birds sung； or the sun would shine。 I
might say that for years this was my experience。 I would go to God but
got very little relief； yet I never gave up。 It was all the hope I could see
for me。 About this time my little Charlien； who had been such a help to me；
began to go into a decline； until she was taken down with typhoid fever。
Her case was violent and she was delirious from the first。 This my only
child was peculiar。 She was the result of a drunken father and a distracted
mother。 The curse of heredity is one of the most heart…breaking
results of the saloon。 Poor little children are brought into the world；
cursed by disposition and disease； entailed on them。 How can mothers be
true to their offspring with a constant dread of the nameless horrors wives
are exposed to by being drunkards' wives。 Men will not raise domestic
animals under conditions where the mothers may bring forth weak or
deformed offspring。 My precious child seemed to have taken a perfect
dislike to Christianity。 This was a great grief to me； and I used to pray
to God to save her soul at any cost； I often prayed for bodily affliction on
her； if that was what would make her love and serve God。 Anything for
her eternal salvation。
Her right cheek was very much swollen； and on examination we
found there was an eating sore inside her cheek。 This kept up in spite of
all remedies； and at last the whole of her right cheek fell out； leaving the
teeth bare。 My friends and boarders were very angry at the physician；
saying she was salivated。 From the first something told me this is an
answer to your prayer。 At this time； when her life was despaired of； I
had an intense longing to save my child； who was so dear to me。 I said：
〃Oh； God； let me keep a piece of my child。〃 A minister said： 〃Don't
pray for the life of your child； she will be so deformed it were better she
were dead。〃 I could not feel this way。 After being at death's door for
nine days； she began to recover。 The wound in her face healed up to a
hole about the size of a twenty…five cent piece。 Her jaws closed and
remained so for eight years。 The sickness of my daughter and the keeping
up of the hotel was such a tax on my mind； that for six months all
transactions would recede from my memory。 For instance； if anyone
told me something； in an hour afterwards； I could not tell whether it
had been hours； days or months since it was told me。 I never entirely
recovered from this； still being forgetful of names； dates and circumstances；
unless they are particularly impressed upon my mind。 When I could afford
it； I took my child； then twelve years old； down to Galveston； put her
under the care of Dr。 Dowell for the purpose of closing the hole in her
cheek。 I had to leave the little one down there among strangers； for I
could not afford to stay with her。 A mother only will know what this
means。 After four operations the place was closed up in her cheek； still
her mouth was closed； her teeth close together。 I suffered torture all these
years for fear she might strangle to death。 I took her to San
Antonio； Texas； to Dr。 Herff； and he and his two sons removed a section
of the jawbone； expecting to make an artificial joint； enabling her to use
the other side of her jaw。 After all this； the operation was a failure； and
her jaws closed up again。 We； in the meantime； moved to Richmond
from Columbia。 We became very successful in the hotel business and I
saved money enough to send her to New York City； where her father； Dr。
Gloyd； had a cousin； Dr。 Messinger； who would see that she had the best
relief possible。 None of the surgeons there gave her any hope of opening
her jaws。 She went to Dr。 John Wyeth to have him perform the plastic
surgery； that is； he cut off a flap from under her chin； turning it over the
scar on her cheek。
Although Charlien was not a Christian； she had faith in God。 Once
she complained of my being too strict with her； but said： 〃Mamma I owe
it to you that I have any faith in God； even if you are severe with me。〃
She always believed that her mother had a God。 Finding no physician
in New York that could open her jaws； she wrote me this： 〃No one but
God can open my mouth； Mamma； ask him to do it。〃 There was a Catholic
woman； Miss Doregan； who boarded with me and had a store around
the corner from the hotel； and I could think of no one else who had as
much faith as this woman。 She said she believed that God would heal
my child according to prayer； so I went for seven mornings before breakfast
to this saint of God。 She taught me many holy truths and she
explained the Scriptures to me。 I learned from her a prayer that we said
in concert； that was written by one of the Old Fathers； and is one of the
most complete in devotion I have ever read。 I will record it here：
〃Come Holy Ghost send down those beams；
That sweetly flow in silent streams；
From thy bright throne above；
Oh； Come Father of the poor；
Thou bounteous source of all our store；
Come fire our hearts with love。
Come thou of comforters the best；
Come thou the soul's delicious guest；
The pilgrim's sweet relief：
Thou art our rest in toil and sweat；
Refreshment in excessive heat
And solace in our grief。
Oh！ sacred light shoot home the darts；
Oh！ pierce the center of those hearts
Whose faith aspires to thee。
Without thy God…head nothing can
Have any worth a price in man；
Nothing can harmless be。〃
〃Lord wash our sinful stains away；
Water from heaven our barren clay；
Our wounds and bruises heal。
To thy sweet yoke our stiff necks bow；
Warm with thy fire our hearts of snow；
Our wandering feet repair。
Oh； grant thy faithful dearest Lord；
Whose only hope is thy sure word；
The seven gifts of thy spirit。
Grant us in life to obey thy grace；
Grant us in death to see thy face
And endless joys inherit；
Through the same Christ our Lord。〃
〃Amen。〃
And now I often use this beautiful and comprehensive petition to my Dear
Lord。
Charlien wrote that she had letters of introduction to a physician in
Philadelphia； Dr。 J。 Ewing Mears； but in every letter would say： 〃Keep
on praying。〃 This we did。 Oh； the anxiety of my