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〃And mind you don't get drunk；〃 added the giver； who himself had
not partaken of the vodka。
〃By heavens！〃 answered Zuchin as he sucked the marrow out of a
mutton bone （I remember thinking that it must be because he ate
marrow that he was so clever）。 〃By heavens！〃 he went on with a
slight smile （and his smile was of the kind that one
involuntarily noticed； and somehow felt grateful for）； 〃even if I
did get drunk； there would be no great harm done。 I wonder which
of us two could look after himself the betteryou or I？ Anyway I
am willing to make the experiment；〃 and he slapped his forehead
with mock boastfulness。 〃But what a pity it is that Semenoff has
disappeared！ He has gone and completely hidden himself
somewhere。〃
Sure enough； the grey…haired Semenoff who had comforted me so
much at my first examination by being worse dressed than myself；
and who； after passing the second examination； had attended his
lectures regularly during the first month； had disappeared
thereafter from view； and never been seen at the University
throughout the latter part of the course。
〃Where is he？〃 asked some one。
〃I do not know〃 replied Zuchin。 〃He has escaped my eye
altogether。 Yet what fun I used to have with him！ What fire there
was in the man！ and what an intellect！ I should be indeed sorry
if he has come to griefand come to grief he probably has； for
he was no mere boy to take his University course in instalments。〃
After a little further conversation； and agreeing to meet again
the next night at Zuchin's； since his abode was the most central
point for us all； we began to disperse。 As； one by one； we left
the room； my conscience started pricking me because every one
seemed to be going home on foot； whereas I had my drozhki。
Accordingly； with some hesitation I offered Operoff a lift。
Zuchin came to the door with us； and； after borrowing a rouble of
Operoff； went off to make a night of it with some friends。 As we
drove along； Operoff told me a good deal about Zuchin's character
and mode of life； and on reaching home it was long before I could
get to sleep for thinking of the new acquaintances I had made。
For many an hour； as I lay awake； I kept wavering between the
respect which their knowledge； simplicity； and sense of honour；
as well as the poetry of their youth and courage； excited in my
regard； and the distaste which I felt for their outward man。 In
spite of my desire to do so； it was at that time literally
impossible for me to associate with them； since our ideas were
too wholly at variance。 For me； life's meaning and charm contained
an infinitude of shades of which they had not an inkling； and
vice versa。 The greatest obstacles of all； however； to our better
acquaintance I felt to be the twenty roubles' worth of cloth in
my tunic； my drozhki； and my white linen shirt； and they appeared
to me most important obstacles； since they made me feel as though
I had unwittingly insulted these comrades by displaying such
tokens of my wealth。 I felt guilty in their eyes； and as though；
whether I accepted or rejected their acquittal and took a line of
my own； I could never enter into equal and unaffected relations
with them。 Yet to such an extent did the stirring poetry of the
courage which I could detect in Zuchin （in particular） overshadow
the coarse； vicious side of his nature that the latter made no
unpleasant impression upon me。
For a couple of weeks I visited Zuchin's almost every night for
purposes of work。 Yet I did very little there； since； as I have
said； I had lost ground at the start； and； not having sufficient
grit in me to catch up my companions by solitary study； was
forced merely to PRETEND that I was listening to and taking in
all they were reading。 I have an idea； too； that they divined my
pretence； since I often noticed that they passed over points
which they themselves knew without first inquiring of me whether
I did the same。 Yet； day by day； I was coming to regard the
vulgarity of this circle with more indulgence； to feel
increasingly drawn towards its way of life； and to find in it
much that was poetical。 Only my word of honour to Dimitri that I
would never indulge in dissipation with these new comrades kept
me from deciding also to share their diversions。
Once； I thought I would make a display of my knowledge of
literature； particularly French literature； and so led the
conversation to that theme。 Judge； then； of my surprise when I
discovered that not only had my companions been reading the
foreign passages in Russian； but that they had studied far more
foreign works than I had； and knew and could appraise English；
and even Spanish； writers of whom I had never so much as heard！
Likewise； Pushkin and Zhukovski represented to them LITERATURE；
and not； as to myself； certain books in yellow covers which I had
once read and studied when a child。 For Dumas and Sue they had an
almost equal contempt； and； in general； were competent to form
much better and clearer judgments on literary matters than I was；
for all that I refused to recognise the fact。 In knowledge of
music； too； I could not beat them； and was astonished to find
that Operoff played the violin； and another student the cello
and piano； while both of them were members of the University
orchestra； and possessed a wide knowledge of and appreciation of
good music。 In short； with the exception of the French and German
languages； my companions were better posted at every point than I
was； yet not the least proud of the fact。 True； I might have
plumed myself on my position as a man of the world； but Woloda
excelled me even in that。 Wherein； then； lay the height from
which I presumed to look down upon these comrades？ In my
acquaintanceship with Prince Ivan Ivanovitch？ In my ability to
speak French？ In my drozhki？ In my linen shirt？ In my finger…
nails？ 〃Surely these things are all rubbish；〃 was the thought
which would come flitting through my head under the influence of
the envy which the good…fellowship and kindly； youthful gaiety
displayed around me excited in my breast。 Every one addressed his
interlocutor in the second person singular。 True； the familiarity
of this address almost approximated to rudeness； yet even the
boorish exterior of the speaker could not conceal a constant
endeavour never to hurt another one's feelings。 The terms 〃brute〃
or 〃swine；〃 when used in this good…natured fashion； only
convulsed me； and gave me cause for inward merriment。 In no way
did they offend the person addressed； or prevent the company at
large from remaining on the most sincere and friendly footing。 In
all their intercourse these youths were delicate and forbearing
in a way that only very poor and very young men can be。 However
much I might detect in Zuchin's character and amusements an
element of coarseness and profligacy； I could also detect the
fact that his drinking…bouts were of a very different order to
the puerility with burnt