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clever young man。〃
Hardly had I taken a dozen steps when I was overtaken by Sophia
Ivanovna; who; though fat and short of breath; trod with
surprising lightness and agility。
〃Merci; mon cher;〃 she said。 〃I will go and tell them myself。〃
XXIV
LOVE
SOPHIA IVANOVNA; as I afterwards came to know her; was one of
those rare; young…old women who are born for family life; but to
whom that happiness has been denied by fate。 Consequently all
that store of their love which should have been
poured out upon a husband and children becomes pent up in their
hearts; until they suddenly decide to let it overflow upon a few
chosen individuals。 Yet so inexhaustible is that store of old
maids' love that; despite the number of individuals so selected;
there still remains an abundant surplus of affection which they
lavish upon all by whom they are surroundedupon all; good or
bad; whom they may chance to meet in their daily life。
Of love there are three kindslove of beauty; the love which
denies itself; and practical love。
Of the desire of a young man for a young woman; as well as of the
reverse instance; I am not now speaking; for of such tendresses I
am wary; seeing that I have been too unhappy in my life to have
been able ever to see in such affection a single spark of truth;
but rather a lying pretence in which sensuality; connubial
relations; money; and the wish to bind hands or to unloose them
have rendered feeling such a complex affair as to defy analysis。
Rather am I speaking of that love for a human being which;
according to the spiritual strength of its possessor;
concentrates itself either upon a single individual; upon a few;
or upon manyof love for a mother; a father; a brother; little
children; a friend; a compatriotof love; in short; for one's
neighbour。
Love of beauty consists in a love of the sense of beauty and of
its expression。 People who thus love conceive the object of their
affection to be desirable only in so far as it arouses in them
that pleasurable sensation of which the consciousness and the
expression soothes the senses。 They change the object of their
love frequently; since their principal aim consists in ensuring
that the voluptuous feeling of their adoration shall be
constantly titillated。 To preserve in themselves this sensuous
condition; they talk unceasingly; and in the most elegant terms;
on the subject of the love which they feel; not only for its
immediate object; but also for objects upon which it does not
touch at all。 This country of ours contains many such
individualsindividuals of that well…known class who;
cultivating 〃the beautiful;〃 not only discourse of their cult to
all and sundry; but speak of it pre…eminently in FRENCH。 It may
seem a strange and ridiculous thing to say; but I am convinced
that among us we have had in the past; and still have; a large
section of societynotably womenwhose love for their friends;
husbands; or children would expire to…morrow if they were
debarred from dilating upon it in the tongue of France!
Love of the second kindrenunciatory loveconsists in a
yearning to undergo self…sacrifice for the object beloved;
regardless of any consideration whether such self…sacrifice will
benefit or injure the object in question。 〃There is no evil which
I would not endure to show both the world and him or her whom I
adore my devotion。〃 There we have the formula of this kind of
love。 People who thus love never look for reciprocity of
affection; since it is a finer thing to sacrifice yourself for
one who does not comprehend you。 Also; they are always painfully
eager to exaggerate the merits of their sacrifice; usually
constant in their love; for the reason that they would find it
hard to forego the kudos of the deprivations which they endure
for the object beloved; always ready to die; to prove to him or
to her the entirety of their devotion; but sparing of such small
daily proofs of their love as call for no special effort of self…
immolation。 They do not much care whether you eat well; sleep
well; keep your spirits up; or enjoy good health; nor do they
ever do anything to obtain for you those blessings if they have
it in their power; but; should you be confronting a bullet; or
have fallen into the water; or stand in danger of being burnt; or
have had your heart broken in a love affairwell; for all these
things they are prepared if the occasion should arise。 Moreover;
people addicted to love of such a self…sacrificing order are
invariably proud of their love; exacting; jealous; distrustful;
andstrange to tellanxious that the object of their adoration
should incur perils (so that they may save it from calamity; and
console it thereafter) and even be vicious (so that they may
purge it of its vice)。
Suppose; now; that you are living in the country with a wife who
loves you in this self…sacrificing manner。 You may be healthy and
contented; and have occupations which interest you; while; on the
other hand; your wife may be too weak to superintend the
household work (which; in consequence; will be left to the
servants); or to look after the children (who; in consequence;
will be left to the nurses); or to put her heart into any work
whatsoever: and all because she loves nobody and nothing but
yourself。 She may be patently ill; yet she will say not a word to
you about it; for fear of distressing you。 She may be patently
ennuyee; yet for your sake she will be prepared to be so for the
rest of her life。 She may be patently depressed because you stick
so persistently to your occupations (whether sport; books;
farming; state service; or anything else) and see clearly that
they are doing you harm; yet; for all that; she will keep
silence; and suffer it to be so。 Yet; should you but fall sick
and; despite her own ailments and your prayers that she will not
distress herself in vain; your loving wife will remain sitting
inseparably by your bedside。 Every moment you will feel her
sympathetic gaze resting upon you and; as it were; saying:
〃There! I told you so; but it is all one to me; and I shall not
leave you。〃 In the morning you maybe a little better; and move
into another room。 The room; however; will be insufficiently
warmed or set in order; the soup which alone you feel you could
eat will not have been cooked; nor will any medicine have been
sent for。 Yet; though worn out with night watching; your loving
wife will continue to regard you with an expression of sympathy;
to walk about on tiptoe; and to whisper unaccustomed and obscure
orders to the servants。 You may wish to be read toand your
loving wife will tell you with a sigh that she feels sure you
will be unable to hear her reading; and only grow angry at her
awkwardness in doing it; wherefore you had better not be read to
at all。 You may wish to walk about the roomand she will tell you
that it would be far better for you not to do so。 You may wish to
talk with some friends wh