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failed to fulfil the latter part of my father's instructions； I
felt that I must carry out the former。 I paced my room and eyed
my clothes ready disposed on chairsthe tunic； the sword； and
the cap。 Just as I was about to set forth； old Grap called to
congratulate me； bringing with him Ilinka。 Grap pere was a
Russianised German and an intolerably effusive； sycophantic old
man who was more often than not tipsy。 As a rule； he visited us
only when he wanted to ask for something； and although Papa
sometimes entertained him in his study； old Grap never came to
dinner with us。 With his subserviency and begging propensities
went such a faculty of good…humour and a power of making himself
at home that every one looked upon his attachment to us as a
great honour。 For my part； however； I never liked him； and felt
ashamed when he was speaking。
I was much put out by the arrival of these visitors； and made no
effort to conceal the fact。 Upon Ilinka I had been so used to
look down； and he so used to recognise my right to do so； that it
displeased me to think that he was now as much a matriculated
student as myself。 In some way he appeared to me to have made a
POINT of attaining that equality。 I greeted the pair coldly； and；
without offering them any refreshment （since it went against the
grain to do so； and I thought they could ask for anything； if
they wanted it； without my first inviting them to state their
requirements）； gave orders for the drozhki to be got ready。
Ilinka was a good…natured； extremely moral； and far from stupid
young fellow； yet； for all that； what people call a person of
moods。 That is to say； for no apparent reason he was for ever in
some PRONOUNCED frame of mindnow lachrymose； now frivolous； now
touchy on the very smallest point。 At the present moment he
appeared to be in the last…named mood。 He kept looking from his
father to myself without speaking； except when directly
addressed； at which times he smiled the self…deprecatory； forced
smile under which he was accustomed to conceal his feelings； and
more especially that feeling of shame for his father which he
must have experienced in our house。
〃So； Nicolas Petrovitch；〃 the old man said to me； following me
everywhere about the room as I went through the operation of
dressing； while all the while his fat fingers kept turning over
and over a silver snuff…box with which my grandmother had once
presented me； 〃as soon as ever I heard from my son that you had
passed your examinations so well （though of course your abilities
are well…known to everyone）； I at once came to congratulate you；
my dear boy。 Why； I have carried you on my shoulders before now；
and God knows that I love you as though you were my own son。 My
Ilinka too has always been fond of you； and feels quite at home
with you。〃
Meanwhile the said Ilinka remained sitting silently by the
window； apparently absorbed in contemplation of my three…cornered
cap； and every now and then angrily muttering something in an
undertone。
〃Now； I also wanted to ask you； Nicolas Petrovitch。〃 His father
went on； 〃whether my son did well in the examinations？ He tells
me that he is going to be in the same faculty as yourself； and
that therefore you will be able to keep an eye on him； and advise
him； and so on。〃
〃Oh； yes； I suppose he passed well；〃 I replied； with a glance at
Ilinka； who； conscious of my gaze； reddened violently and ceased
to move his lips about。
〃And might he spend the day with you？〃 was the father's next
request； which he made with a deprecatory smile； as though he
stood in actual awe of me； yet always keeping so close to me；
wherever I moved； that the fumes of the drink and tobacco in
which he had been indulging were constantly perceptible to my
nostrils。 I felt greatly vexed at his placing me in such a false
position towards his son； as well as at his distracting my
attention from what was； to me； a highly important operation
namely； the operation of dressing； while； over and above all； I
was annoyed by the smell of liquor with which he followed me
about。 Accordingly； I said very coldly that I could not have the
pleasure of Ilinka's company that day； since I should be out。
〃Ah！ I suppose you are going to see your sister？〃 put in Ilinka
with a smile； but without looking at me。 〃Well； I too have
business to attend to。〃 At this I felt even more put out； as well
as pricked with compunction； so； to soften my refusal a little； I
hastened to say that the reason why I should not be at home that
day was that I had to call upon the PRINCE Ivan Ivanovitch； the
PRINCESS Kornakoff； and the Monsieur Iwin who held such an
influential post； as well as； probably； to dine with the PRINCESS
Nechludoff （for I thought that； on learning what important folk I
was in the habit of mixing with； the Graps would no longer think
it worth while to pretend to me）。 However； just as they were
leaving； I invited Ilinka to come and see me another day； but he
only murmured something unintelligible； and it was plain that he
meant never to set foot in the house again。
When they had departed； I set off on my round of calls。 Woloda；
whom I had asked that morning to come with me； in order that I
might not feel quite so shy as when altogether alone； had
declined on the ground that for two brothers to be seen driving
in one drozhki would appear so horribly 〃proper。〃
XVIII
THE VALAKHIN FAMILY
Accordingly I set off alone。 My first call on the route lay at
the Valakhin mansion。 It was now three years since I had seen
Sonetchka； and my love for her had long become a thing of the
past； yet there still lingered in my heart a sort of clear；
touching recollection of our bygone childish affection。 At
intervals； also； during those three years； I had found myself
recalling her memory with such force and vividness that I had
actually shed tears； and imagined myself to be in love with her
again； but those occasions had not lasted more than a few minutes
at a time； and had been long in recurring。
I knew that Sonetchka and her mother had been abroadthat； in
fact； they had been so for the last two years。 Also； I had heard
that they had been in a carriage accident； and that Sonetchka's
face had been so badly cut with the broken glass that her beauty
was marred。 As I drove to their house； I kept recalling the old
Sonetchka to my mind； and wondering what she would look like when
I met her。 Somehow I imagined that； after her two years' sojourn
abroad； she would look very tall； with a beautiful waist； and；
though sedate and imposing； extremely attractive。 Somehow； also；
my imagination refused to picture her with her face disfigured
with scars； but； on the contrary； since I had read somewhere of a
lover who remained true to his adored one in spite of her
disfigurement with smallpox； strove to imagine that I was in love
with Sonetchka； for the purpose of priding myself on holding to
my troth in spite