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and some of them were quite outrageous in their remarks； but I didn't
blame them the least bit； for I should have been just as bad。 That
California gentleman was perfectly splendid； though。 I can tell you HE
made them stop。 We struck up quite a friendship。 I told him I had a
brother coming on from California； and he's going to try to think whether
he knows Willis。 ＇Groans and inarticulate protests make themselves heard
from different berths。＇ I declare； I've got to talking again！ There； now； I
SHALL stop； and they won't hear another squeak from me the rest of the
night。 ＇She lifts her head from her husband's shoulder。＇ I wonder if baby
will roll out。 He DOES kick so！ And I just sprang up and left him
when I heard your voice； without putting anything to keep him in。 I
MUST go and have a look at him； or I never can settle down。 No； no；
don't you go； Edward； you'll be prying into all the wrong berths in the car；
you poor thing！ You stay here； and I'll be back in half a second。 I
wonder which is my berth。 Ah！ that's it； I know the one now。 ＇She
makes a sudden dash at a berth； and pulling open the curtains is confronted
by the bearded visage of THE CALIFORNIAN。＇ Ah！ Ow！ ow！
Edward！ Ah！ II beg your pardon； sir； excuse me； I didn't know it was
you。 I came for my baby。
THE CALIFORNIAN （solemnly）。 I haven't got any baby； ma'am。
MRS。 ROBERTS。 NonoI thought you were my baby。
THE CALIFORNIAN。 Perhaps I am； ma'am； I've lost so much sleep
I could cry； anyway。 Do I LOOK like your baby？
MRS。 ROBERTS。 No； no； you don't。 ＇In distress that overcomes
her mortification。＇ Oh； where is my baby？ I left him all uncovered； and
he'll take his death of cold； even if he doesn't roll out。 Oh； Edward；
Edward； help me to find baby！
MR。 ROBERTS （bustling aimlessly about）。 Yes； yes； certainly； my
dear。 But don't be alarmed； we shall find him。
THE CALIFORNIAN （getting out in his stocking feet）。 We shall
find him； ma'am； if we have to search every berth in this car。 Don't you
take on。 That baby's going to be found if he's aboard the train； now； you
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THE SLEEPING…CAR
bet！ ＇He looks about and then tears open the curtains of a berth at
random。＇ That your baby； ma'am？
MRS。 ROBERTS （flying upon the infant thus exposed）。 Oh； BABY；
baby； baby！！ I thought I had lost you。 Um！ um！ um！
＇She clasps him in her arms； and covers his face and neck with kisses。＇
THE CALIFORNIAN （as he gets back into his berth； sotto voce）。 I
wish I HAD been her baby。
MRS。 ROBERTS （returning with her husband to his seat； and bringing
the baby with her）。 There！ Did you ever see such a sleeper； Edward？
＇In her ecstasy she abandons all control of her voice； and joyfully
exclaims。＇ He has slept all through this excitement； without a wink。
A solemn Voice from one of the berths。 I envy him。
＇A laugh follows； in which all the passengers join。＇
MRS。 ROBERTS （in a hoarse whisper； breaking a little with laughter）。
Oh； my goodness！ there I went again。 But how funny！ I assure you；
Edward； that if their remarks had not been about me； I could have really
quite enjoyed some of them。 I wish there had been somebody here to
take them down。 And I hope I shall see some of the speakers in the
morning beforeEdward； I've got an idea！
MR。 ROBERTS （endeavoring to teach his wife by example to lower
her voice； which has risen again）。 Whatwhat is it； my dear？
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Why； don't you see？ How perfectly ridiculous it
was of me not to think of it before！ though I did think of it once； and
hadn't the courage to insist upon it。 But of course it is； and it accounts
for his being so polite and kind to me through all； and it's the only thing
that can。 Yes； yes； it must be。
MR。 ROBERTS （mystified）。 What？
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Willis。
MR。 ROBERTS。 Who？
MRS。 ROBERTS。 This Californian。
MR。 ROBERTS。 Oh！
MRS。 ROBERTS。 No STRANGER could have been so patient and
and attentive； and I know that he recognized me from the first； and he's
just kept it up for a joke； so as to surprise us and have a good laugh at us
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THE SLEEPING…CAR
when we get to Boston。 Of COURSE it's Willis。
MR。 ROBERTS （doubtfully）。 Do you think so； my dear？
MRS。 ROBERTS。 I KNOW it。 Didn't you notice how he looked at
your card？ And I want you to go at once and speak to him； and turn the
tables on him。
MR。 ROBERTS。 II'd rather NOT； my dear。
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Why； Edward； what can you mean？
MR。 ROBERTS。 He's very violent。 Suppose it SHOULDN'T be
Willis？
MRS。 ROBERTS。 Nonsense！ It IS Willis。 Come； let's both go
and just tax him with it。 He can't deny it； after all he's done for me。
＇She pulls her reluctant husband toward THE CALIFORNIAN'S berth；
and they each draw a curtain。＇ Willis！
THE CALIFORNIAN （with plaintive endurance）。 Well； ma'am？
MRS。 ROBERTS （triumphantly）。 There！ I knew it was you all
along。 How could you play such a joke on me？
THE CALIFORNIAN。 I didn't know there'd been any joke； but I
suppose there must have been； if you say so。 Who am I now； ma'am
your husband； or your baby； or your husband's wife； or …
MRS。 ROBERTS。 How funny you are！ You KNOW you're Willis
Campbell； my only brother。 Now DON'T try to keep it up any longer；
Willis。
＇Voices from various berths。 〃Give us a rest； Willis！〃 〃Joke's too
thin； Willis！〃 〃You're played out； Willis！〃 〃Own up； old fellow own
up！〃
THE CALIFORNIAN （issuing from his berth； and walking up and
down the aisle； as before； till quiet is restored）。 I haven't got any sister；
and my n