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YOU say a word； or I'll settle with you in the morning。
＇Loud and continued applause； amidst which THE CALIFORNIAN
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turns from the man in the berth before him； and restores order by marching
along the aisle of the car in his stocking feet。 The heads vanish behind
the curtains。 As the laughter subsides； he returns to his berth； and after a
stare up and down the tranquillized car； he is about to retire。＇
A VOICE。 Oh； don't just bow。 Speak！
＇A fresh burst of laughter greets this sally。 THE CALIFORNIAN
erects himself again with an air of baited wrath； and then suddenly breaks
into a helpless laugh。＇
THE CALIFORNIAN。 Gentlemen； you're too many for ME。
＇He gets into his berth； and after cries of 〃Good for California！〃
〃You're all right； William Nye！〃 and 〃You're several ahead yet！〃 the
occupants of the different berths gradually relapse into silence； and at last；
as the car lunges onward through the darkness； nothing is heard but the
rhythmical clank of the machinery； with now and then a burst of audible
slumber from MRS。 ROBERTS'S aunt MARY。＇
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THE SLEEPING…CAR
II。
At Worcester； where the train has made the usual stop； THE PORTER；
with his lantern on his arm； enters the car； preceding a gentleman
somewhat anxiously smiling； his nervous speech contrasts painfully with
the business…like impassiveness of THE PORTER； who refuses； with an
air of incredulity； to enter into the confidences which the gentleman seems
reluctant to bestow。
MR。 EDWARD ROBERTS。 This is the Governor Marcy； isn't it？
THE PORTER。 Yes； sah。
MR。 ROBERTS。 Came on from Albany； and not from New York？
THE PORTER。 Yes； sah； it did。
MR。 ROBERTS。 Ah！ it must be all right。 I …
THE PORTER。 Was your wife expecting you to come on board
here？
MR。 ROBERTS。 Well； no； not exactly。 She was expecting me to
meet her at Boston。 But I＇struggling to give the situation dignity； but
failing； and throwing himself； with self…convicted silliness； upon THE
PORTER'S mercy。＇ The fact is； I thought I would surprise her by joining
her here。
THE PORTER （refusing to have any mercy）。 Oh！ How did you
expect to find her？
MR。 ROBERTS。 WellwellI don't know。 I didn't consider。 ＇He
looks down the aisle in despair at the close…drawn curtains of the berths；
and up at the dangling hats and bags and bonnets； and down at the chaos
of boots of both sexes on the floor。＇ I don't know HOW I expected to
find her。
＇MR。 ROBERTS'S countenance falls； and he visibly sinks so low in
his own esteem and an imaginary public opinion that THE PORTER
begins to have a little compassion。＇
THE PORTER。 Dey's so many ladies on board _I_ couldn't find her。
MR。 ROBERTS。 Oh； no； no； of course not。 I didn't expect that。
THE PORTER。 Don't like to go routing 'em all up； you know。 I
wouldn't be allowed to。
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MR。 ROBERTS。 I don't ask it； that would be preposterous。
THE PORTER。 What sort of looking lady was she？
MR。 ROBERTS。 Well； I don't know； really。 Not very tall； rather
slight； blue eyes。 II don't know what you'd call her nose。 And stop！
Oh yes； she had a child with her； a little boy。 Yes！
THE PORTER （thoughtfully looking down the aisle）。 Dey was three
ladies had children。 I didn't notice whether dey was boys or girls； or
WHAT dey was。 Didn't have anybody with her？
MR。 ROBERTS。 No； no。 Only the child。
THE PORTER。 Well； I don't know what you are going to do； sah。
It won't be a great while now till morning； you know。 Here comes the
conductor。 Maybe he'll know what to do。
＇MR。 ROBERTS makes some futile； inarticulate attempts to prevent
The PORTER from laying the case before THE CONDUCTOR； and then
stands guiltily smiling； overwhelmed with the hopeless absurdity of his
position。＇
THE CONDUCTOR （entering the car； and stopping before THE
PORTER； and looking at MR。 ROBERTS）。 Gentleman want a berth？
THE PORTER （grinning）。 Well； no； sah。 He's lookin' for his wife。
THE CONDUCTOR （with suspicion）。 Is she aboard this car？
MR。 ROBERTS （striving to propitiate THE CONDUCTOR by a
dastardly amiability）。 Oh； yes； yes。 There's no mistake about the car
the Governor Marcy。 She telegraphed the name just before you left
Albany； so that I could find her at Boston in the morning。 Ah！
THE CONDUCTOR。 At Boston。 ＇Sternly。＇ Then what are you
trying to find her at Worcester in the middle of the night for？
MR。 ROBERTS。 WhyIthat is …
THE PORTER （taking compassion on MR。 ROBERTS'S inability to
continue）。 Says he wanted to surprise her。
MR。 ROBERTS。 Hayes； exactly。 A little caprice； you know。
THE CONDUCTOR。 Well； that may all be so。 ＇MR。 ROBERTS
continues to smile in agonized helplessness against THE CONDUCTOR'S
injurious tone； which becomes more and more offensively patronizing。＇
But _I_ can't do anything for you。 Here are all these people asleep in
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their berths； and I can't go round waking them up because you want to
surprise your wife。
MR。 ROBERTS。 No； no； of course not。 I never thought …
THE CONDUCTOR。 My advice to YOU is to have a berth made up；
and go to bed till we get to Boston； and surprise your wife by telling her
what you tried to do。
MR。 ROBERTS （unable to resent the patronage of this suggestion）。
Well； I don't know but I will。
THE CONDUCTOR （