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'We are all wicked；' said Winifred； 'but you are afraid of a
shadow。 How often have I told you that the sin of your heart is
not the sin against the Holy Ghost： the sin of your heart is its
natural pride； of which you are scarcely aware； to keep down which
God in His mercy permitted you to be terrified with the idea of
having committed a sin which you never committed。'
'Then you will still maintain；' said Peter； 'that I never committed
the sin against the Holy Spirit？'
'I will；' said Winifred； 'you never committed it。 How should a
child seven years old commit a sin like that？'
'Have I not read my own condemnation？' said Peter。 'Did not the
first words which I read in the Holy Scripture condemn me？ 〃He who
committeth the sin against the Holy Ghost shall never enter into
the kingdom of God。〃'
'You never committed it；' said Winifred。
'But the words！ the words！ the words！' said Peter。
'The words are true words；' said Winifred； sobbing； 'but they were
not meant for you； but for those who have broken their profession；
who； having embraced the cross； have receded from their Master。'
'And what sayst thou to the effect which the words produced upon
me？' said Peter。 'Did they not cause me to run wild through Wales
for years； like Merddin Wyllt of yore； thinkest thou that I opened
the book at that particular passage by chance？'
'No；' said Winifred； 'not by chance； it was the hand of God
directed you； doubtless for some wise purpose。 You had become
satisfied with yourself。 The Lord wished to rouse thee from thy
state of carnal security； and therefore directed your eyes to that
fearful passage。'
'Does the Lord then carry out His designs by means of guile？' said
Peter with a groan。 'Is not the Lord true？ Would the Lord impress
upon me that I had committed a sin of which I am guiltless？ Hush；
Winifred！ hush！ thou knowest that I have committed the sin。'
'Thou hast not committed it；' said Winifred； sobbing yet more
violently。 'Were they my last words； I would persist that thou
hast not committed it； though； perhaps； thou wouldst； but for this
chastening； it was not to convince thee that thou hast committed
the sin； but rather to prevent thee from committing it； that the
Lord brought that passage before thy eyes。 He is not to blame； if
thou art wilfully blind to the truth and wisdom of His ways。'
'I see thou wouldst comfort me；' said Peter； 'as thou hast often
before attempted to do。 I would fain ask the young man his
opinion。'
'I have not yet heard the whole of your history；' said I。
'My story is nearly told；' said Peter； 'a few words will complete
it。 My wife endeavoured to console and reassure me； using the
arguments which you have just heard her use； and many others； but
in vain。 Peace nor comfort came to my breast。 I was rapidly
falling into the depths of despair； when one day Winifred said to
me； 〃I see thou wilt be lost； if we remain here。 One resource only
remains。 Thou must go forth； my husband； into the wide world； and
to comfort thee I will go with thee。〃 〃And what can I do in the
wide world？〃 said I； despondingly。 〃Much；〃 replied Winifred； 〃if
you will but exert yourself； much good canst thou do with the
blessing of God。〃 Many things of the same kind she said to me； and
at last I arose from the earth to which God had smitten me； and
disposed of my property in the best way I could； and went into the
world。 We did all the good we were able； visiting the sick；
ministering to the sick； and praying with the sick。 At last I
became celebrated as the possessor of a great gift of prayer。 And
people urged me to preach； and Winifred urged me too； and at last I
consented； and I preached。 I … I … outcast Peter； became the
preacher Peter Williams。 I； the lost one； attempted to show others
the right road。 And in this way I have gone on for thirteen years；
preaching and teaching； visiting the sick； and ministering to them；
with Winifred by my side heartening me on。 Occasionally I am
visited with fits of indescribable agony； generally on the night
before the Sabbath； for I then ask myself； how dare I； the outcast；
attempt to preach the word of God？ Young man； my tale is told； you
seem in thought！'
'I am thinking of London Bridge；' said I。
'Of London Bridge！' said Peter and his wife。
'Yes；' said I； 'of London Bridge。 I am indebted for much wisdom to
London Bridge； it was there that I completed my studies。 But to
the point。 I was once reading on London Bridge a book which an
ancient gentlewoman； who kept the bridge； was in the habit of
lending me； and there I found written； 〃Each one carries in his
breast the recollection of some sin which presses heavy upon him。
Oh； if men could but look into each other's hearts； what blackness
would they find there！〃'
'That's true；' said Peter。 'What is the name of the book？'
'THE LIFE OF BLESSED MARY FLANDERS。'
'Some popish saint； I suppose；' said Peter。
'As much of a saint； I daresay；' said I； 'as most popish ones； but
you interrupted me。 One part of your narrative brought the passage
which I have quoted into my mind。 You said that after you had
committed this same sin of yours you were in the habit； at school；
of looking upon your schoolfellows with a kind of gloomy
superiority； considering yourself a lone monstrous being who had
committed a sin far above the daring of any of them。 Are you sure
that many others of your schoolfellows were not looking upon you
and the others with much the same eyes with which you were looking
upon them？'
'How！' said Peter； 'dost thou think that they had divined my
secret？'
'Not they；' said I； 'they were； I daresay； thinking too much of
themselves and of their own concerns to have divined any secrets of
yours。 All I mean to say is； they had probably secrets of their
own； and who knows that the secret sin of more than one of them was
not the very sin which caused you so much misery？'
'Dost thou then imagine；' said Peter； 'the sin against the Holy
Ghost to be so common an occurrence？'
'As you have described it；' said I； 'of very common occurrence；
especially amongst children； who are； indeed； the only beings
likely to commit it。'
'Truly；' said Winifred； 'the young man talks wisely。'
Peter was silent for some moments； and appeared to be reflecting；
at last； suddenly raising his head； he looked me full in the face；
and； grasping my hand with vehemence； he said； 'Tell me； young man；
only one thing； hast thou； too； committed the sin against the Holy
Ghost？'
'I am neither Papist nor Methodist；' said I； 'but of the Church；
and； being so； confess myself to no one； but keep my own counsel； I
will tell thee； however； had I committed； at the same age； twenty
such sins as that which you committed； I should feel no uneasiness
at th