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mantelpiece； and endeavour to conjure up some comic idea or
situation； whilst he goes on talking tomfoolery by the hour about
Church authority； schismatics； and the unlawfulness of sacerdotal
wedlock； occasionally he brings with him a strange kind of being；
whose acquaintance he says he made in Italy； I believe he is some
sharking priest who has come over to proselytise and plunder。 This
being has some powers of conversation and some learning； but
carries the countenance of an arch villain； Platitude is evidently
his tool。'
'Of what religion are you？' said I to my host。
'That of the Vicar of Wakefield … good； quiet； Church of England；
which would live and let live； practises charity； and rails at no
one； where the priest is the husband of one wife； takes care of his
family and his parish … such is the religion for me； though I
confess I have hitherto thought too little of religious matters。
When； however； I have completed this plaguy work on which I am
engaged； I hope to be able to devote more attention to them。'
After some further conversation； the subjects being； if I remember
right； college education； priggism； church authority； tomfoolery；
and the like； I rose and said to my host； 'I must now leave you。'
'Whither are you going？'
'I do not know。'
'Stay here； then … you shall be welcome as many days； months； and
years as you please to stay。'
'Do you think I would hang upon another man？ No； not if he were
Emperor of all the Chinas。 I will now make my preparations； and
then bid you farewell。'
I retired to my apartment and collected the handful of things which
I carried with me on my travels。
'I will walk a little way with you；' said my friend on my return。
He walked with me to the park gate； neither of us said anything by
the way。 When we had come upon the road； I said； 'Farewell now； I
will not permit you to give yourself any further trouble on my
account。 Receive my best thanks for your kindness； before we part；
however； I should wish to ask you a question。 Do you think you
shall ever grow tired of authorship？'
'I have my fears；' said my friend； advancing his hand to one of the
iron bars of the gate。
'Don't touch；' said I； 'it is a bad habit。 I have but one word to
add： should you ever grow tired of authorship follow your first
idea of getting into Parliament； you have words enough at command；
perhaps you want manner and method； but； in that case； you must
apply to a teacher； you must take lessons of a master of
elocution。'
'That would never do！' said my host； 'I know myself too well to
think of applying for assistance to any one。 Were I to become a
parliamentary orator； I should wish to be an original one； even if
not above mediocrity。 What pleasure should I take in any speech I
might make； however original as to thought； provided the gestures I
employed and the very modulation of my voice were not my own？ Take
lessons； indeed！ why； the fellow who taught me； the professor；
might be standing in the gallery whilst I spoke； and； at the best
parts of my speech； might say to himself； 〃That gesture is mine …
that modulation is mine。〃 I could not bear the thought of such a
thing。'
'Farewell；' said I； 'and may you prosper。 I have nothing more to
say。'
I departed。 At the distance of twenty yards I turned round
suddenly； my friend was just withdrawing his finger from the bar of
the gate。
'He has been touching；' said I； as I proceeded on my way； 'I wonder
what was the evil chance he wished to baffle。'
CHAPTER LXVIII
Elastic step … Disconsolate party … Not the season … Mend your
draught … Good ale … Crotchet … Hammer and tongs … Schoolmaster …
True Eden life … Flaming Tinman … Twice my size … Hard at work … My
poor wife … Grey Moll … A Bible … Half…and…half … What to do … Half
inclined … In no time … On one condition … Don't stare … Like the
wind。
AFTER walking some time； I found myself on the great road； at the
same spot where I had turned aside the day before with my new…made
acquaintance； in the direction of his house。 I now continued my
journey as before； towards the north。 The weather； though
beautiful； was much cooler than it had been for some time past； I
walked at a great rate； with a springing and elastic step。 In
about two hours I came to where a kind of cottage stood a little
way back from the road； with a huge oak before it； under the shade
of which stood a little pony and a cart； which seemed to contain
various articles。 I was going past … when I saw scrawled over the
door of the cottage； 'Good beer sold here'； upon which； feeling
myself all of a sudden very thirsty； I determined to go in and
taste the beverage。
I entered a well…sanded kitchen； and seated myself on a bench； on
one side of a long white table； the other side； which was nearest
to the wall； was occupied by a party； or rather family； consisting
of a grimy…looking man； somewhat under the middle size； dressed in
faded velveteens； and wearing a leather apron … a rather pretty…
looking woman； but sun…burnt； and meanly dressed； and two ragged
children； a boy and girl； about four or five years old。 The man
sat with his eyes fixed upon the table； supporting his chin with
both his hands； the woman； who was next him； sat quite still； save
that occasionally she turned a glance upon her husband with eyes
that appeared to have been lately crying。 The children had none of
the vivacity so general at their age。 A more disconsolate family I
had never seen； a mug； which； when filled； might contain half a
pint； stood empty before them； a very disconsolate party indeed。
'House！' said I； 'House！' and then； as nobody appeared； I cried
again as loud as I could； 'House！ do you hear me； House！'
'What's your pleasure； young man？' said an elderly woman； who now
made her appearance from a side apartment。
'To taste your ale；' said I。
'How much？' said the woman； stretching out her hand towards the
empty mug upon the table。
'The largest measure…full in your house；' said I； putting back her
hand gently。 'This is not the season for half…pint mugs。'
'As you will； young man；' said the landlady； and presently brought
in an earthen pitcher which might contain about three pints； and
which foamed and frothed withal。
'Will this pay for it？' said I； putting down sixpence。
'I have to return you a penny；' said the landlady； putting her hand
into her pocket。
'I want no change；' said I； flourishing my hand with an air。
'As you please； young gentleman；' said the landlady； and then；
making a kind of curtsey； she again retired to the side apartment。
'Here is your health； sir；' said I to the grimy…looking man； as I
raised the pitcher to my lips。
The tinker； for such I supposed him to be； without altering his
posture； r