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rm … the papers did not mind giving the business a free advertisement； because it was a charitable concern … many persons withdrew their custom from those who usually supplied them with firewood； and gave their orders to the Yard； and they had the satisfaction of getting their fuel cheaper than before and of performing a charitable action at the same time。
As a remedy for unemployment this scheme was on a par with the method of the tailor in the fable who thought to lengthen his cloth by cutting a piece off one end and sewing it on to the other； but there was one thing about it that recommended it to the Vicar … it was self…supporting。 He found that there would be no need to use all the money he had extracted from the semi…imbecile old ladies for timber； so he bought himself a Newfoundland dog； an antique set of carved ivory chessmen； and a dozen bottles of whisky with the remainder of the cash。
The reverend gentleman hit upon yet another means of helping the poor。 He wrote a letter to the Weekly Chloroform appealing for cast…off boots for poor children。 This was considered such a splendid idea that the editors of all the local papers referred to it in leading articles； and several other letters were written by prominent citizens extolling the wisdom and benevolence of the profound Bosher。 Most of the boots that were sent in response to this appeal had been worn until they needed repair … in a very large proportion of instances； until they were beyond repair。 The poor people to whom they were given could not afford to have them mended before using them； and the result was that the boots generally began to fall to pieces after a few days' wear。
This scheme amounted to very little。 It did not increase the number of cast…off boots； and most of the people who ‘cast off' their boots generally gave them to someone or other。 The only difference It can have made was that possibly a few persons who usually threw their boots away or sold them to second…hand dealers may have been induced to send them to Mr Bosher instead。 But all the same nearly everybody said it was a splendid idea： its originator was applauded as a public benefactor； and the pettifogging busybodies who amused themselves with what they were pleased to term ‘charitable work' went into imbecile ecstasies over him。
Chapter 36
The OBS
One of the most important agencies for the relief of distress was the Organized Benevolence Society。 This association received money from many sources。 The proceeds of the fancy…dress carnival； the collections from different churches and chapels which held special services in aid of the unemployed； the weekly collections made by the employees of several local firms and business houses； the proceeds of concerts； bazaars； and entertainments； donations from charitable persons； and the subscriptions of the members。 The society also received large quantities of cast…off clothing and boots； and tickets of admission to hospitals； convalescent homes and dispensaries from subscribers to those institutions； or from people like Rushton & Co。； who had collecting…boxes in their workshops and offices。
Altogether during the last year the Society had received from various sources about three hundred pounds in hard cash。 This money was devoted to the relief of cases of distress。
The largest item in the expenditure of the Society was the salary of the General Secretary； Mr Sawney Grinder … a most deserving case … who was paid one hundred pounds a year。
After the death of the previous secretary there were so many candidates for the vacant post that the election of the new secretary was a rather exciting affair。 The excitement was all the more intense because it was restrained。 A special meeting of the society was held： the Mayor； Alderman Sweater； presided； and amongst those present were Councillors Rushton； Didlum and Grinder； Mrs Starvem； Rev。 Mr Bosher； a number of the rich； semi…imbecile old women who had helped to open the Labour Yard； and several other ‘ladies'。 Some of these were the district visitors already alluded to； most of them the wives of wealthy citizens and retired tradesmen； richly dressed； ignorant； insolent； overbearing frumps； who … after filling themselves with good things in their own luxurious homes … went flouncing into the poverty…stricken dwellings of their poor ‘sisters' and talked to them of ‘religion'； lectured them about sobriety and thrift； and … sometimes … gave them tickets for soup or orders for shillingsworths of groceries or coal。 Some of these overfed females … the wives of tradesmen； for instance … belonged to the Organized Benevolence Society； and engaged in this ‘work' for the purpose of becoming acquainted with people of superior social position … one of the members was a colonel； and Sir Graball D'Encloseland … the Member of Parliament for the borough … also belonged to the Society and occasionally attended its meetings。 Others took up district visiting as a hobby； they had nothing to do； and being densely ignorant and of inferior mentality； they had no desire or capacity for any intellectual pursuit。 So they took up this work for the pleasure of playing the grand lady and the superior person at a very small expense。 Other of these visiting ladies were middle…aged； unmarried women with small private incomes … some of them well…meaning； compassionate； gentle creatures who did this work because they sincerely desired to help others； and they knew of no better way。 These did not take much part in the business of the meetings； they paid their subscriptions and helped to distribute the cast…off clothing and boots to those who needed them； and occasionally obtained from the secretary an order for provisions or coal or bread for some poverty…stricken family； but the poor； toil…worn women whom they visited welcomed them more for their sisterly sympathy than for the gifts they brought。 Some of the visiting ladies were of this character … but they were not many。 They were as a few fragrant flowers amidst a dense accumulation of noxious weeds。 They were examples of humility and kindness shining amidst a vile and loathsome mass of hypocrisy； arrogance； and cant。
When the Chairman had opened the meeting； Mr Rushton moved a vote of condolence with the relatives of the late secretary whom he eulogized in the most extraordinary terms。
‘The poor of Mugsborough had lost a kind and sympathetic friend'； ‘One who had devoted his life to helping the needy'； and so on and so forth。 （As a matter of fact； most of the time of the defunct had been passed in helping himself； but Rushton said nothing about that。）
Mr Didlum seconded the vote of condolence in similar terms； and it was carried unanimously。 Then the Chairman said that the next business was to elect a successor to the departed paragon； and immediately no fewer than nine members rose to propose a suitable person … they each had a noble…minded friend or relative willing to sacrifice himself for the good of the poor。
The nine Benevolent stood looking at each other and at the Chairman with sickly smiles upon their hypocritical faces。 It was a dramatic moment。 No one spoke。 It was necessary to be careful。 It would never do