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left unoccupied where there was room for a spectator to stand or sit。
Conrad； clad in purple and ermine； sat in the premier's chair； and on
either side sat the great judges of the realm。 The old Duke had sternly
commanded that the trial of his daughter should proceed； without favor；
and then had taken to his bed broken…hearted。 His days were numbered。
Poor Conrad had begged； as for his very life； that he might be spared the
misery of sitting in judgment upon his cousin's crime； but it did not
avail。
The saddest heart in all that great assemblage was in Conrad's breast。
The gladdest was in his father's。 For； unknown to his daughter 〃Conrad；〃
the old Baron Klugenstein was come； and was among the crowd of nobles；
triumphant in the swelling fortunes of his house。
After the heralds had made due proclamation and the other preliminaries
had followed； the venerable Lord Chief justice said：
〃Prisoner； stand forth！〃
The unhappy princess rose and stood unveiled before the vast multitude。
The Lord Chief Justice continued：
〃Most noble lady； before the great judges of this realm it hath been
charged and proven that out of holy wedlock your Grace hath given birth
unto a child；； and by our ancient law the penalty is death； excepting in
one sole contingency； whereof his Grace the acting Duke； our good Lord
Conrad； will advertise you in his solemn sentence now； wherefore； give
heed。〃
Conrad stretched forth the reluctant sceptre； and in the self…same moment
the womanly heart beneath his robe yearned pityingly toward the doomed
prisoner； and the tears came into his eyes。 He opened his lips to speak；
but the Lord Chief Justice said quickly：
〃Not there； your Grace； not there！ It is not lawful to pronounce
judgment upon any of the ducal line SAVE FROM THE DUCAL THRONE！〃
A shudder went to the heart of poor Conrad； and a tremor shook the iron
frame of his old father likewise。 CONRAD HAD NOT BEEN CROWNEDdared he
profane the throne？ He hesitated and turned pale with fear。 But it must
be done。 Wondering eyes were already upon him。 They would be suspicious
eyes if he hesitated longer。 He ascended the throne。 Presently he
stretched forth the sceptre again； and said：
Prisoner； in the name of our sovereign lord； Ulrich； Duke of
Brandenburgh； I proceed to the solemn duty that hath devolved upon me。
Give heed to my words。 By the ancient law of the land； except you
produce the partner of your guilt and deliver him up to the executioner；
you must surely die。 Embrace this opportunitysave yourself while yet
you may。 Name the father of your child！〃
A solemn hush fell upon the great courta silence so profound that men
could hear their own hearts beat。 Then the princess slowly turned； with
eyes gleaming with hate； and pointing her finger straight at Conrad；
said：
〃Thou art the man！〃
An appalling conviction of his helpless； hopeless peril struck a chill to
Conrad's heart like the chill of death itself。 What power on earth could
save him！ To disprove the charge； he must reveal that he was a woman；
and for an uncrowned woman to sit in the ducal chair was death！ At one
and the same moment； he and his grim old father swooned and fell to； the
ground。
＇The remainder of this thrilling and eventful story will NOT be found in
this or any other publication； either now or at any future time。＇
The truth is； I have got my hero （or heroine） into such a particularly
close place； that I do not see how I am ever going to get him （or her）
out of it againand therefore I will wash my hands of the whole
business； and leave that person to get out the best way that offersor
else stay there。 I thought it was going to be easy enough to straighten
out that little difficulty； but it looks different now。
PETITION CONCERNING COPYRIGHT
TO THE HONORABLE THE SENATE AND HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
IN CONGRESS ASSEMBLED：
Whereas； The Constitution guarantees equal rights to all； backed by the
Declaration of Independence； and
Whereas； Under our laws； the right of property in real estate is
perpetual； and
Whereas； Under our laws； the right of property in the literary result of
a citizen's intellectual labor is restricted to forty…two years； and
Whereas； Forty…two years seems an exceedingly just and righteous term；
and a sufficiently long one for the retention of property；
Therefore； Your petitioner； having the good of his country solely at
heart； humbly prays that 〃equal rights〃 and fair and equal treatment may
be meted out to all citizens； by the restriction of rights in all
property； real estate included； to the beneficent term of forty…two
years。 Then shall all men bless your honorable body and be happy。 And
for this will your petitioner ever pray。
MARK TWAIN。
A PARAGRAPH NOT ADDED TO THE PETITION
The charming absurdity of restricting property…rights in books to
forty…two years sticks prominently out in the fact that hardly any man's
books ever live forty…two years； or even the half of it； and so； for the
sake of getting a shabby advantage of the heirs of about one Scott or
Burns or Milton in a hundred years； the lawmakers of the 〃Great〃 Republic
are content to leave that poor little pilfering edict upon the
statute…books。 It is like an emperor lying in wait to rob a Phenix's
nest； and waiting the necessary century to get the chance。
AFTER…DINNER SPEECH
＇AT A FOURTH OF JULY GATHERING； IN LONDON； OF AMERICANS＇
MR。 CHAIRMAN AND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN： I thank you for the compliment
which has just been tendered me； and to show my appreciation of it I will
not afflict you with many words。 It is pleasant to celebrate in this
peaceful way； upon this old mother soil； the anniversary of an experiment
which was born of war with this same land so long ago； and wrought out to
a successful issue by the devotion of our ancestors。 It has taken nearly
a hundred years to bring the English and Americans into kindly and
mutually appreciative relations； but I believe it has been accomplished
at last。 It was a great step when the two last misunderstandings were
settled by arbitration instead of cannon。 It is another great step when
England adopts our sewing…machines without claiming the inventionas
usual。 It was another when they imported one of our sleeping…cars the
other day。 And it warmed my heart more than I can tell； yesterday； when
I witnessed the spectacle of an Englishman ordering an American sherry
cobbler of his own free will and accordand not only that but with a
great brain and a level head reminding the barkeeper not to forget the
strawberries。 With a common origin； a common language； a common
literature； a common religion andcommon drinks； what is longer needful
to the cementing of the two nations together in a permanent bond of
brotherhood？
This is an age of progress； and ours is a progressive land。 A great and
glorious land； tooa land which has developed a Washington； a Franklin；
a William M。 Tweed； a Longfellow； a Motley； a Jay Gould； a Samuel C。
Pomeroy； a recent Congress which has never had its equal （in some
respects）； and a United States Army which