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sketches new and old-第31章

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jubilations of every sort。  But by and by; as emotion began to retire
within bounds; and reflection to return to the front; the accomplished
Chief Inspector Lizard observed:

〃But how is this?  Venus should traverse the sun's surface; not the
earth's。〃

The arrow went home。  It earned sorrow to the breast of every apostle of
learning there; for none could deny that this was a formidable criticism。
But tranquilly the venerable Duke crossed his limbs behind his ears and
said:

〃My friend has touched the marrow of our mighty discovery。  Yesall that
have lived before us thought a transit of Venus consisted of a flight
across the sun's face; they thought it; they maintained it; they honestly
believed it; simple hearts; and were justified in it by the limitations
of their knowledge; but to us has been granted the inestimable boon of
proving that the transit occurs across the earth's face; for we have SEEN
it!〃

The assembled wisdom sat in speechless adoration of this imperial
intellect。  All doubts had instantly departed; like night before the
lightning。

The Tumble…Bug had just intruded; unnoticed。  He now came reeling forward
among the scholars; familiarly slapping first one and then another on the
shoulder; saying 〃Nice ('ic) nice old boy!〃 and smiling a smile of
elaborate content。  Arrived at a good position for speaking; he put his
left arm akimbo with his knuckles planted in his hip just under the edge
of his cut…away coat; bent his right leg; placing his toe on the ground
and resting his heel with easy grace against his left shin; puffed out
his aldermanic stomach; opened his lips; leaned his right elbow on
Inspector Lizard's shoulder; and

But the shoulder was indignantly withdrawn and the hard…handed son of
toil went to earth。  He floundered a bit; but came up smiling; arranged
his attitude with the same careful detail as before; only choosing
Professor Dogtick's shoulder for a support; opened his lips and

Went to earth again。  He presently scrambled up once more; still smiling;
made a loose effort to brush the dust off his coat and legs; but a smart
pass of his hand missed entirely; and the force of the unchecked impulse
stewed him suddenly around; twisted his legs together; and projected him;
limber and sprawling; into the lap of the Lord Longlegs。  Two or three
scholars sprang forward; flung the low creature head over heels into a
corner; and reinstated the patrician; smoothing his ruffled dignity with
many soothing and regretful speeches。  Professor Bull Frog roared out:

〃No more of this; sirrah Tumble…Bug!  Say your say and then get you about
your business with speed!  Quickwhat is your errand?  Come move off a
trifle; you smell like a stable; what have you been at?〃

〃Please ('ic!) please your worship I chanced to light upon a find。  But
no m(e…uck!) matter 'bout that。  There's b('ic !) been another find
whichbeg pardon; your honors; what was that th('ic!) thing that ripped
by here first?〃

〃It was the Vernal Equinox。〃

〃Inf('ic!)fernal equinox。  'At's all right。  D('ic !) Dunno him。  What's
other one?〃

〃The transit of Venus。

〃G('ic !) Got me again。  No matter。  Las' one dropped something。〃

〃Ah; indeed!  Good luck!  Good news!  Quick what is it?〃

〃M('ic!) Mosey out 'n' see。  It'll pay。〃

No more votes were taken for four…and…twenty hours。  Then the following
entry was made:

〃The commission went in a body to view the find。  It was found to consist
of a hard; smooth; huge object with a rounded summit surmounted by a
short upright projection resembling a section of a cabbage stalk divided
transversely。  This projection was not solid; but was a hollow cylinder
plugged with a soft woody substance unknown to our regionthat is; it
had been so plugged; but unfortunately this obstruction had been
heedlessly removed by Norway Rat; Chief of the Sappers and Miners; before
our arrival。  The vast object before us; so mysteriously conveyed from
the glittering domains of space; was found to be hollow and nearly filled
with a pungent liquid of a brownish hue; like rainwater that has stood
for some time。  And such a spectacle as met our view!  Norway Rat was
perched upon the summit engaged in thrusting his tail into the
cylindrical projection; drawing it out dripping; permitting the
struggling multitude of laborers to suck the end of it; then straightway
reinserting it and delivering the fluid to the mob as before。  Evidently
this liquor had strangely potent qualities; for all that partook of it
were immediately exalted with great and pleasurable emotions; and went
staggering about singing ribald songs; embracing; fighting; dancing;
discharging irruptions of profanity; and defying all authority。  Around
us struggled a massed and uncontrolled mobuncontrolled and likewise
uncontrollable; for the whole army; down to the very sentinels; were mad
like the rest; by reason of the drink。  We were seized upon by these
reckless creatures; and within the hour we; even we; were
undistinguishable from the restthe demoralization was complete and
universal。  In time the camp wore itself out with its orgies and sank
into a stolid and pitiable stupor; in whose mysterious bonds rank was
forgotten and strange bedfellows made; our eyes; at the resurrection;
being blasted and our souls petrified with the incredible spectacle of
that intolerable stinking scavenger; the Tumble…Bug; and the illustrious
patrician my Lord Grand Daddy; Duke of Longlegs; lying soundly steeped in
sleep; and clasped lovingly in each other's arms; the like whereof hath
not been seen in all the ages that tradition compasseth; and doubtless
none shall ever in this world find faith to master the belief of it save
only we that have beheld the damnable and unholy vision。  Thus
inscrutable be the ways of God; whose will be done!

〃This day; by order; did the engineer…in…chief; Herr Spider; rig the
necessary tackle for the overturning of the vast reservoir; and so its
calamitous contents were discharged in a torrent upon the thirsty earth;
which drank it up; and now there is no more danger; we reserving but a
few drops for experiment and scrutiny; and to exhibit to the king and
subsequently preserve among the wonders of the museum。  What this liquid
is has been determined。  It is without question that fierce and most
destructive fluid called lightning。  It was wrested; in its container;
from its storehouse in the clouds; by the resistless might of the flying
planet; and hurled at our feet as she sped by。  An interesting discovery
here results。  Which is; that lightning; kept to itself; is quiescent; it
is the assaulting contact of the thunderbolt that releases it from
captivity; ignites its awful fires; and so produces an instantaneous
combustion and explosion which spread disaster and desolation far and
wide in the earth。〃

After another day devoted to rest and recovery; the expedition proceeded
upon its way。  Some days later it went into camp in a pleasant part of
the plain; and the savants sallied forth to see what they might find。
Their reward was at hand。  Professor Bull Frog discovered a strange tree;
and called his comrades。  They inspected it with prof
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