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he says he thinks things are unsettled there。 He went there early with
an attache of the State Department； who was sent down with money to pay
for the island。 My uncle had his money in the same box； and so when they
went ashore； getting a receipt； the sailors broke open the box and took
all the money； not making any distinction between government money； which
was legitimate money to be stolen； and my uncle's； which was his own
private property； and should have been respected。 But he came home and
got some more and went back。 And then he took the fever。 There are
seven kinds of fever down there； you know； and； as his blood was out of
order by reason of loss of sleep and general wear and tear of mind； he
failed to cure the first fever； and then somehow he got the other six。
He is not a kind of man that enjoys fevers； though he is well meaning and
always does what he thinks is right； and so he was a good deal annoyed
when it appeared he was going to die。
But he worried through； and got well and started a farm。 He fenced it
in； and the next day that great storm came on and washed the most of it
over to Gibraltar； or around there somewhere。 He only said； in his
patient way； that it was gone； and he wouldn't bother about trying to
find out where it went to； though it was his opinion it went to
Gibraltar。
Then he invested in a mountain； and started a farm up there； so as to be
out of the way when the sea came ashore again。 It was a good mountain；
and a good farm； but it wasn't any use； an earthquake came the next night
and shook it all down。 It was all fragments； you know； and so mixed up
with another man's property that he could not tell which were his
fragments without going to law； and he would not do that； because his
main object in going to St。 Thomas was to be quiet。 All that he wanted
was to settle down and be quiet。
He thought it all over； and finally he concluded to try the low ground
again； especially as he wanted to start a brickyard this time。 He bought
a flat； and put out a hundred thousand bricks to dry preparatory to
baking them。 But luck appeared to be against him。 A volcano shoved
itself through there that night； and elevated his brickyard about two
thousand feet in the air。 It irritated him a good deal。 He has been up
there； and he says the bricks are all baked right enough； but he can't
get them down。 At first； he thought maybe the government would get the
bricks down for him； because since government bought the island； it ought
to protect the property where a man has invested in good faith； but all
he wants is quiet； and so he is not going to apply for the subsidy he was
thinking about。
He went back there last week in a couple of ships of war； to prospect
around the coast for a safe place for a farm where he could be quiet；
but a great 〃tidal wave〃 came； and hoisted both of the ships out into one
of the interior counties； and he came near losing his life。 So he has
given up prospecting in a ship； and is discouraged。
Well； now he don't know what to do。 He has tried Alaska； but the bears
kept after him so much； and kept him so much on the jump； as it were；
that he had to leave the country。 He could not be quiet there with those
bears prancing after him all the time。 That is how he came to go to the
new island we have boughtSt。 Thomas。 But he is getting to think St。
Thomas is not quiet enough for a man of his turn of mind； and that is why
he wishes me to find out if government is likely to buy some more islands
shortly。 He has heard that government is thinking about buying Porto
Rico。 If that is true； he wishes to try Porto Rico； if it is a quiet
place。 How is Porto Rico for his style of man？ Do you think the
government will buy it？
SOME LEARNED FABLES； FOR GOOD OLD BOYS AND GIRLS
IN THREE PARTS
PART FIRST
HOW THE ANIMALS OF THE WOOD SENT OUT A SCIENTIFIC EXPEDITION
Once the creatures of the forest held a great convention and appointed a
commission consisting of the most illustrious scientists among them to go
forth； clear beyond the forest and out into the unknown and unexplored
world； to verify the truth of the matters already taught in their schools
and colleges and also to make discoveries。 It was the most imposing
enterprise of the kind the nation had ever embarked in。 True； the
government had once sent Dr。 Bull Frog； with a picked crew； to hunt for a
northwesterly passage through the swamp to the right…hand corner of the
wood； and had since sent out many expeditions to hunt for Dr。 Bull Frog；
but they never could find him； and so government finally gave him up and
ennobled his mother to show its gratitude for the services her son had
rendered to science。 And once government sent Sir Grass Hopper to hunt
for the sources of the rill that emptied into the swamp； and afterward
sent out many expeditions to hunt for Sir Grass； and at last they were
successfulthey found his body； but if he had discovered the sources
meantime； he did not let on。 So government acted handsomely by deceased；
and many envied his funeral。
But these expeditions were trifles compared with the present one； for
this one comprised among its servants the very greatest among the
learned； and besides it was to go to the utterly unvisited regions
believed to lie beyond the mighty forestas we have remarked before。
How the members were banqueted； and glorified； and talked about！
Everywhere that one of them showed himself； straightway there was a crowd
to gape and stare at him。
Finally they set off； and it was a sight to see the long procession of
dry…land Tortoises heavily laden with savants； scientific instruments；
Glow…Worms and Fire…Flies for signal service； provisions； Ants and
Tumble…Bugs to fetch and carry and delve； Spiders to carry the surveying
chain and do other engineering duty； and so forth and so on； and after
the Tortoises came another long train of ironcladsstately and spacious
Mud Turtles for marine transportation service； and from every Tortoise
and every Turtle flaunted a flaming gladiolus or other splendid banner；
at the head of the column a great band of Bumble…Bees； Mosquitoes；
Katy…Dids； and Crickets discoursed martial music； and the entire train
was under the escort and protection of twelve picked regiments of the
Army Worm。
At the end of three weeks the expedition emerged from the forest and
looked upon the great Unknown World。 Their eyes were greeted with an
impressive spectacle。 A vast level plain stretched before them； watered
by a sinuous stream； and beyond there towered up against the sky along
and lofty barrier of some kind； they did not know what。 The Tumble…Bug
said he believed it was simply land tilted up on its edge； because he
knew he could see trees on it。 But Professor Snail and the others said：
〃You are hired to dig； sirthat is all。 We need your muscle； not your
brains。 When we want your opinion on scientific matters； we will hasten
to let you know。 Your coolness is intolerable； tooloafing about here
meddling with august matters of learning； when the other laborers are
pitching camp。 Go along and help handle the baggage。〃
The Tumble…B