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me that my observations would be taken in good part； and should receive
all possible consideration。
Therewith he made me a little bow； and took his departure； leaving me
with a peculiar feeling of discomfort and uneasiness。 I have met a great
many strange characters in my time； but never any at all resembling either
this notary or this schoolmistress。
July 6。
Maitre Mouche has so much delayed me by his visit that I gave up
going to see Jeanne that day。 Professional duties kept me very busy for the
rest of the week。 Although at the age when most men retire altogether
from active life； I am still attached by a thousand ties to the society in
which I have lived。 I have to reside at meetings of academies； scientific
congresses； assemblies of various learned bodies。 I am overburdened with
honorary functions； I have seven of these in one governmental department
alone。 The bureaux would be very glad to get rid of them。 But habit is
stronger than both of us together； and I continue to hobble up the stairs of
various government buildings。 Old clerks point me out to each other as I
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go by like a ghost wandering through the corridors。 When one has become
very old one finds it extremely difficult to disappear。 Nevertheless； it is
time； as the old song says； 'de prendre ma retraite et de songer a faire un
fin〃to retire on my pension and prepare myself to die a good death。
An old marchioness； who used to be a friend of Hevetius in her youth；
and whom I once met at my father's house when a very old woman； was
visited during her last sickness by the priest of her parish； who wanted to
prepare her to die。
〃Is that really necessary？〃 she asked。 〃I see everybody else manage it
perfectly well the first time。〃
My father went to see her very soon afterwards and found her
extremely ill。
〃Good…evening； my friend！〃 she said； pressing his hand。 〃I am going to
see whether God improves upon acquaintance。〃
So were wont to die the belles amies of the philosophers。 Such an end
is certainly not vulgar nor impertinent； and such levities are not of the sort
that emanate from dull minds。 Nevertheless； they shock me。 Neither my
fears nor my hopes could accommodate themselves to such a mode of
departure。 I would like to make mine with a perfectly collected mind； and
that is why I must begin to think； in a year or two； about some way of
belonging to myself； otherwise； I should certainly risk。。。。 But； hush！ let
Him not hear His name and turn to look as He passes by！ I can still lift my
fagot without His aid。
。。。I found Jeanne very happy indeed。 She told me that； on the Thursday
previous； after the visit of her guardian； Mademoiselle Prefere had set her
free from the ordinary regulations and lightened her tasks in several ways。
Since that lucky Thursday she could walk in the gardenwhich only
lacked leaves and flowersas much as she liked； and she had been given
facilities to work at her unfortunate little figure of Saint…George。
She said to me； with a smile；
〃I know very well that I owe all of this to you。〃 I tried to talk with her
about other matters； but I remarked that she could not attend to what I was
saying； in spite of her effort to do so。
〃I see you are thinking about something else；〃 I said。 〃Well； tell me
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what it is； for； if you do not； we shall not be able to talk to each other at all；
which would be very unworthy of both of us。〃
She answered；
〃Oh！ I was really listening to you； Monsieur； but it is true that I was
thinking about something else。 You will excuse me； won't you？ I could not
help thinking that Mademoiselle Prefere must like you very； very much
indeed； to have become so good to me all of a sudden。〃
Then she looked at me in an odd； smiling； frightened way； which made
me laugh。
〃Does that surprise you？〃 I asked。 〃Very much；〃 she replied。
〃Please tell me why？〃
〃Because I can see no reason； no reason at all。。。but there！。。。no reason at
all why you should please Mademoiselle Prefere so much。〃
〃So； then； you think I am very displeasing； Jeanne？〃
She bit her lips； as if to punish them for having made a mistake； and
then； in a coaxing way； looking at me with great soft eyes； gentle and
beautiful as a spaniel's； she said；
〃I know I said a foolish think； but； still； I do not see any reason why
you should be so pleasing to Mademoiselle Prefere。 And； nevertheless；
you seem to please her a great deala very great deal。 She called me one
day； and asked me all sorts of questions about you。〃
〃Really？〃
〃Yes； she wanted to find out all about your house。 Just think！ she even
asked me how old your servant was！〃
And Jeanne burst out laughing。
〃Well； what do you think about it？〃 I asked。
She remained a long while with her eyes fixed on the worn…out cloth
of her shoes； and seemed to be thinking very deeply。 Finally； looking up
again； she answered；
〃I am distrustful。 Isn't it very natural to feel uneasy about what one
cannot understand； I know I am foolish； but you won't be offended with
me； will you？〃
〃Why； certainly not； Jeanne。 I am not a bit offended with you。〃
I must acknowledge that I was beginning to share her surprise； and I
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began to turn over in my old head the singular thought of this young girl
〃One is uneasy about what one cannot understand。〃
But； with a fresh burst of merriment； she cried out；
〃She asked me。。。guess！ I will give you a hundred guessesa thousand
guesses。 You give it up？。。。 She asked me if you liked good eating。〃
〃And how did you receive this shower of interrogations； Jeanne？〃
〃I replied； 'I don't know； Mademoiselle。' And Mademoiselle then said
to me； 'You are a little fool。 The least details of the life of an eminent man
ought to be observed。 Please to know； Mademoiselle； that Monsieur
Sylvestre Bonnard is one of the glories of France！'〃
〃Stuff！〃 I exclaimed。 〃And what did YOU think about it；
Mademoiselle？〃
〃I thought that Mademoiselle Prefere