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It has been said that girls are very good at making nets； but
that it would be better still if they would learn to make cages。
Men are often as easily caught as birds； but as difficult to keep。
If the wife cannot make her home bright and happy； so that it
shall be the cleanest； sweetest； cheerfulest place that her
husband can find refuge ina retreat from the toils and
troubles of the outer worldthen God help the poor man；
for he is virtually homeless！
No wise person will marry for beauty mainly。 It may exercise a
powerful attraction in the first place； but it is found to be of
comparatively little consequence afterwards。 Not that beauty of
person is to be underestimated； for； other things being equal；
handsomeness of form and beauty of features are the outward
manifestations of health。 But to marry a handsome figure without
character； fine features unbeautified by sentiment or good…nature；
is the most deplorable of mistakes。 As even the finest landscape；
seen daily； becomes monotonous； so does the most beautiful face；
unless a beautiful nature shines through it。 The beauty of to…day
becomes commonplace to…morrow； whereas goodness； displayed through
the most ordinary features； is perennially lovely。 Moreover； this
kind of beauty improves with age； and time ripens rather than
destroys it。 After the first year； married people rarely think of
each other's features； and whether they be classically beautiful
or otherwise。 But they never fail to be cognisant of each other's
temper。 〃When I see a man；〃 says Addison； 〃with a sour rivelled
face； I cannot forbear pitying his wife； and when I meet with an
open ingenuous countenance； I think of the happiness of his
friends； his family； and his relations。〃
We have given the views of the poet Burns as to the qualities
necessary in a good wife。 Let us add the advice given by Lord
Burleigh to his son； embodying the experience of a wise statesman
and practised man of the world。 〃When it shall please God；〃 said
he； 〃to bring thee to man's estate； use great providence and
circumspection in choosing thy wife； for from thence will spring
all thy future good or evil。 And it is an action of thy life；
like unto a stratagem of war； wherein a man can err but once。。。。
Enquire diligently of her disposition； and how her parents have
been inclined in their youth。 （9） Let her not be poor； how
generous （well…born） soever； for a man can buy nothing in the
market with gentility。 Nor choose a base and uncomely creature
altogether for wealth； for it will cause contempt in others； and
loathing in thee。 Neither make choice of a dwarf； or a fool； for
by the one thou shalt beget a race of pigmies； while the other
will be thy continual disgrace； and it will yirke （irk） thee to
hear her talk。 For thou shalt find it to thy great grief； that
there is nothing more fulsome （disgusting） than a she…fool。〃
A man's moral character is； necessarily； powerfully influenced by
his wife。 A lower nature will drag him down； as a higher will
lift him up。 The former will deaden his sympathies； dissipate his
energies； and distort his life； while the latter； by satisfying
his affections； will strengthen his moral nature； and by giving
him repose； tend to energise his intellect。 Not only so； but a
woman of high principles will insensibly elevate the aims and
purposes of her husband； as one of low principles will
unconsciously degrade them。 De Tocqueville was profoundly
impressed by this truth。 He entertained the opinion that man
could have no such mainstay in life as the companionship of a wife
of good temper and high principle。 He says that in the course of
his life； he had seen even weak men display real public virtue；
because they had by their side a woman of noble character； who
sustained them in their career； and exercised a fortifying
influence on their views of public duty； whilst； on the contrary；
he had still oftener seen men of great and generous instincts
transformed into vulgar self…seekers； by contact with women of
narrow natures； devoted to an imbecile love of pleasure； and from
whose minds the grand motive of Duty was altogether absent。
De Tocqueville himself had the good fortune to be blessed with an
admirable wife： （10） and in his letters to his intimate friends； he
spoke most gratefully of the comfort and support he derived from
her sustaining courage； her equanimity of temper； and her nobility
of character。 The more； indeed； that De Tocqueville saw of the
world and of practical life； the more convinced he became of the
necessity of healthy domestic conditions for a man's growth in
virtue and goodness。 （11） Especially did he regard marriage as of
inestimable importance in regard to a man's true happiness； and he
was accustomed to speak of his own as the wisest action of his
life。 〃Many external circumstances of happiness；〃 he said； 〃have
been granted to me。 But more than all； I have to thank Heaven for
having bestowed on me true domestic happiness； the first of human
blessings。 As I grow older； the portion of my life which in my
youth I used to look down upon； every day becomes more important
in my eyes； and would now easily console me for the loss of all
the rest。〃 And again； writing to his bosom…friend； De Kergorlay；
he said： 〃Of all the blessings which God has given to me； the
greatest of all in my eyes is to have lighted on Marie。 You
cannot imagine what she is in great trials。 Usually so gentle；
she then becomes strong and energetic。 She watches me without my
knowing it； she softens； calms； and strengthens me in difficulties
which disturb ME； but leave her serene。〃 （12） In another letter he
says： 〃I cannot describe to you the happiness yielded in the long
run by the habitual society of a woman in whose soul all that is
good in your own is reflected naturally； and even improved。 When
I say or do a thing which seems to me to be perfectly right； I
read immediately in Marie's countenance an expression of proud
satisfaction which elevates me。 And so； when my conscience
reproaches me； her face instantly clouds over。 Although I have
great power over her mind； I see with pleasure that she awes me；
and so long as I love her as I do now； I am sure that I shall
never allow myself to be drawn into anything that is wrong。〃
In the retired life which De Tocqueville led as a literary man
political life being closed against him by the inflexible
independence of his characterhis health failed； and he became
ill； irritable； and querulous。 While proceeding with his last
work； 'L'Ancien Regime et la Revolution；' he wrote： 〃After sitting
at my desk for five or six hours； I can write no longer； the
machine refuses to act。 I am in great want of rest； and of a long
rest。 If you add all the perplexities that besiege an author
towards the end of his work； you will be able to imagine a very
wretched life。 I could not go on with my task if it were not for
the refresh