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is best composed and regulated。 The home is the woman's kingdom；
her state； her worldwhere she governs by affection； by
kindness； by the power of gentleness。 There is nothing which so
settles the turbulence of a man's nature as his union in life with
a highminded woman。 There he finds rest； contentment； and
happinessrest of brain and peace of spirit。 He will also often
find in her his best counsellor； for her instinctive tact will
usually lead him right when his own unaided reason might be apt to
go wrong。 The true wife is a staff to lean upon in times of trial
and difficulty； and she is never wanting in sympathy and solace
when distress occurs or fortune frowns。 In the time of youth； she
is a comfort and an ornament of man's life； and she remains a
faithful helpmate in maturer years； when life has ceased to be an
anticipation； and we live in its realities。
What a happy man must Edmund Burke have been； when he could say of
his home； 〃Every care vanishes the moment I enter under my own
roof！〃 And Luther； a man full of human affection； speaking of his
wife； said； 〃I would not exchange my poverty with her for all the
riches of Croesus without her。〃 Of marriage he observed： 〃The
utmost blessing that God can confer on a man is the possession of
a good and pious wife； with whom he may live in peace and
tranquillityto whom he may confide his whole possessions； even
his life and welfare。〃 And again he said； 〃To rise betimes； and
to marry young； are what no man ever repents of doing。〃
For a man to enjoy true repose and happiness in marriage； he must
have in his wife a soul…mate as well as a helpmate。 But it is not
requisite that she should be merely a pale copy of himself。 A man
no more desires in his wife a manly woman； than the woman desires
in her husband a feminine man。 A woman's best qualities do not
reside in her intellect； but in her affections。 She gives
refreshment by her sympathies； rather than by her knowledge。 〃The
brain…women；〃 says Oliver Wendell Holmes； 〃never interest us like
the heart…women。〃 （5） Men are often so wearied with themselves；
that they are rather predisposed to admire qualities and tastes in
others different from their own。 〃If I were suddenly asked；〃 says
Mr。 Helps； 〃to give a proof of the goodness of God to us； I think
I should say that it is most manifest in the exquisite difference
He has made between the souls of men and women； so as to create
the possibility of the most comforting and charming companionship
that the mind of man can imagine。〃 （6） But though no man may love
a woman for her understanding； it is not the less necessary for
her to cultivate it on that account。 （7） There may be difference
in character； but there must be harmony of mind and sentiment
two intelligent souls as well as two loving hearts：
〃Two heads in council； two beside the hearth；
Two in the tangled business of the world；
Two in the liberal offices of life。〃
There are few men who have written so wisely on the subject of
marriage as Sir Henry Taylor。 What he says about the influence of
a happy union in its relation to successful statesmanship； applies
to all conditions of life。 The true wife； he says； should possess
such qualities as will tend to make home as much as may be a place
of repose。 To this end； she should have sense enough or worth
enough to exempt her husband as much as possible from the troubles
of family management； and more especially from all possibility of
debt。 〃She should be pleasing to his eyes and to his taste： the
taste goes deep into the nature of all menlove is hardly apart
from it； and in a life of care and excitement； that home which is
not the seat of love cannot be a place of repose； rest for the
brain； and peace for the spirit； being only to be had through the
softening of the affections。 He should look for a clear
understanding； cheerfulness； and alacrity of mind； rather than
gaiety and brilliancy； and for a gentle tenderness of disposition
in preference to an impassioned nature。 Lively talents are too
stimulating in a tired man's housepassion is too disturbing。。。。
〃Her love should be
A love that clings not； nor is exigent；
Encumbers not the active purposes；
Nor drains their source； but profers with free grace
Pleasure at pleasure touched； at pleasure waived；
A washing of the weary traveller's feet；
A quenching of his thirst； a sweet repose；
Alternate and preparative； in groves
Where； loving much the flower that loves the shade；
And loving much the shade that that flower loves；
He yet is unbewildered； unenslaved；
Thence starting light； and pleasantly let go
When serious service calls。 （8）
Some persons are disappointed in marriage； because they expect too
much from it； but many more； because they do not bring into the
co…partnership their fair share of cheerfulness； kindliness；
forbearance； and common sense。 Their imagination has perhaps
pictured a condition never experienced on this side Heaven； and
when real life comes； with its troubles and cares； there is a
sudden waking…up as from a dream。 Or they look for something
approaching perfection in their chosen companion； and discover by
experience that the fairest of characters have their weaknesses。
Yet it is often the very imperfection of human nature； rather than
its perfection； that makes the strongest claims on the forbearance
and sympathy of others； and； in affectionate and sensible natures；
tends to produce the closest unions。
The golden rule of married life is； 〃Bear and forbear。〃 Marriage；
like government； is a series of compromises。 One must give and
take； refrain and restrain； endure and be patient。 One may not be
blind to another's failings； but they may be borne with good…
natured forbearance。 Of all qualities； good temper is the one
that wears and works the best in married life。 Conjoined with
self…control； it gives patiencethe patience to bear and
forbear； to listen without retort； to refrain until the angry
flash has passed。 How true it is in marriage； that 〃the soft
answer turneth away wrath！〃
Burns the poet； in speaking of the qualities of a good wife；
divided them into ten parts。 Four of these he gave to good
temper； two to good sense； one to wit； one to beautysuch as a
sweet face； eloquent eyes； a fine person； a graceful carriage； and
the other two parts he divided amongst the other qualities
belonging to or attending on a wifesuch as fortune；
connections； education （that is； of a higher standard than
ordinary）； family blood； &c。； but he said： 〃Divide those two
degrees as you please； only remember that all these minor
proportions must be expressed by fractions； for there is not any
one of them that is entitled to the dignity of an integer。〃
It has been said that girls are very good at making nets； but
that i