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part of our nature。〃
It is by means of this divine passion that the world is kept ever
fresh and young。 It is the perpetual melody of humanity。 It
sheds an effulgence upon youth; and throws a halo round age。 It
glorifies the present by the light it casts backward; and it
lightens the future by the beams it casts forward。 The love which
is the outcome of esteem and admiration; has an elevating and
purifying effect on the character。 It tends to emancipate one
from the slavery of self。 It is altogether unsordid; itself is
its only price。 It inspires gentleness; sympathy; mutual faith;
and confidence。 True love also in a measure elevates the
intellect。 〃All love renders wise in a degree;〃 says the poet
Browning; and the most gifted minds have been the sincerest
lovers。 Great souls make all affections great; they elevate and
consecrate all true delights。 The sentiment even brings to light
qualities before lying dormant and unsuspected。 It elevates the
aspirations; expands the soul; and stimulates the mental powers。
One of the finest compliments ever paid to a woman was that of
Steele; when he said of Lady Elizabeth Hastings; 〃that to have
loved her was a liberal education。〃 Viewed in this light; woman
is an educator in the highest sense; because; above all other
educators; she educates humanly and lovingly。
It has been said that no man and no woman can be regarded as
complete in their experience of life; until they have been subdued
into union with the world through their affections。 As woman is
not woman until she has known love; neither is man man。 Both are
requisite to each other's completeness。 Plato entertained the
idea that lovers each sought a likeness in the other; and that
love was only the divorced half of the original human being
entering into union with its counterpart。 But philosophy would
here seem to be at fault; for affection quite as often springs
from unlikeness as from likeness in its object。
The true union must needs be one of mind as well as of heart; and
based on mutual esteem as well as mutual affection。 〃No true and
enduring love;〃 says Fichte; 〃can exist without esteem ; every
other draws regret after it; and is unworthy of any noble human
soul。〃 One cannot really love the bad; but always something that
we esteem and respect as well as admire。 In short; true union
must rest on qualities of character; which rule in domestic as in
public life。
But there is something far more than mere respect and esteem in
the union between man and wife。 The feeling on which it rests
is far deeper and tenderersuch; indeed; as never exists
between men or between women。 〃In matters of affection;〃 says
Nathaniel Hawthorne; 〃there is always an impassable gulf between
man and man。 They can never quite grasp each other's hands;
and therefore man never derives any intimate help; any
heart…sustenance; from his brother man; but from womanhis
mother; his sister; or his wife。〃 (2)
Man enters a new world of joy; and sympathy; and human interest;
through the porch of love。 He enters a new world in his home
the home of his own makingaltogether different from the home of
his boyhood; where each day brings with it a succession of new
joys and experiences。 He enters also; it may be; a new world of
trials and sorrows; in which he often gathers his best culture and
discipline。 〃Family life;〃 says Sainte…Beuve; 〃may be full of
thorns and cares; but they are fruitful: all others are dry
thorns。〃 And again: 〃If a man's home; at a certain period of
life; does not contain children; it will probably be found filled
with follies or with vices。〃 (3)
A life exclusively occupied in affairs of business insensibly
tends to narrow and harden the character。 It is mainly occupied
with self…watching for advantages; and guarding against sharp
practice on the part of others。 Thus the character unconsciously
tends to grow suspicious and ungenerous。 The best corrective of
such influences is always the domestic; by withdrawing the mind
from thoughts that are wholly gainful; by taking it out of its
daily rut; and bringing it back to the sanctuary of home for
refreshment and rest:
〃That truest; rarest light of social joy;
Which gleams upon the man of many cares。〃
〃Business;〃 says Sir Henry Taylor; 〃does but lay waste the
approaches to the heart; whilst marriage garrisons the fortress。〃
And however the head may be occupied; by labours of ambition or of
businessif the heart be not occupied by affection for others
and sympathy with themlife; though it may appear to the outer
world to be a success; will probably be no success at all;
but a failure。 (4)
A man's real character will always be more visible in his
household than anywhere else; and his practical wisdom will be
better exhibited by the manner in which he bears rule there; than
even in the larger affairs of business or public life。 His whole
mind may be in his business; but; if he would be happy; his whole
heart must be in his home。 It is there that his genuine qualities
most surely display themselvesthere that he shows his
truthfulness; his love; his sympathy; his consideration for
others; his uprightness; his manlinessin a word; his character。
If affection be not the governing principle in a household;
domestic life may be the most intolerable of despotisms。 Without
justice; also; there can be neither love; confidence; nor respect;
on which all true domestic rule is founded。
Erasmus speaks of Sir Thomas More's home as 〃a school and exercise
of the Christian religion。〃 〃No wrangling; no angry word was
heard in it; no one was idle; every one did his duty with
alacrity; and not without a temperate cheerfulness。〃 Sir Thomas
won all hearts to obedience by his gentleness。 He was a man
clothed in household goodness; and he ruled so gently and wisely;
that his home was pervaded by an atmosphere of love and duty。 He
himself spoke of the hourly interchange of the smaller acts of
kindness with the several members of his family; as having a claim
upon his time as strong as those other public occupations of his
life which seemed to others so much more serious and important。
But the man whose affections are quickened by home…life; does not
confine his sympathies within that comparatively narrow sphere。
His love enlarges in the family; and through the family it expands
into the world。 〃Love;〃 says Emerson; 〃is a fire that; kindling
its first embers in the narrow nook of a private bosom; caught
from a wandering spark out of another private heart; glows and
enlarges until it warms and beams upon multitudes of men and
women; upon the universal heart of all; and so lights up the whole
world and nature with its generous flames。〃
It is by the regimen of domestic affection that the heart of man
is best composed and regulated。 The home is the woman's kingdom;
her state; her worldwhere she governs b