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character-第84章

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part of our nature。〃



It is by means of this divine passion that the world is kept ever

fresh and young。  It is the perpetual melody of humanity。  It

sheds an effulgence upon youth; and throws a halo round age。  It

glorifies the present by the light it casts backward; and it

lightens the future by the beams it casts forward。  The love which

is the outcome of esteem and admiration; has an elevating and

purifying effect on the character。  It tends to emancipate one

from the slavery of self。  It is altogether unsordid; itself is

its only price。  It inspires gentleness; sympathy; mutual faith;

and confidence。  True love also in a measure elevates the

intellect。  〃All love renders wise in a degree;〃 says the poet

Browning; and the most gifted minds have been the sincerest

lovers。  Great souls make all affections great; they elevate and

consecrate all true delights。  The sentiment even brings to light

qualities before lying dormant and unsuspected。  It elevates the

aspirations; expands the soul; and stimulates the mental powers。

One of the finest compliments ever paid to a woman was that of

Steele; when he said of Lady Elizabeth Hastings; 〃that to have

loved her was a liberal education。〃  Viewed in this light; woman

is an educator in the highest sense; because; above all other

educators; she educates humanly and lovingly。



It has been said that no man and no woman can be regarded as

complete in their experience of life; until they have been subdued

into union with the world through their affections。  As woman is

not woman until she has known love; neither is man man。  Both are

requisite to each other's completeness。  Plato entertained the

idea that lovers each sought a likeness in the other; and that

love was only the divorced half of the original human being

entering into union with its counterpart。  But philosophy would

here seem to be at fault; for affection quite as often springs

from unlikeness as from likeness in its object。



The true union must needs be one of mind as well as of heart; and

based on mutual esteem as well as mutual affection。  〃No true and

enduring love;〃 says Fichte; 〃can exist without esteem ; every

other draws regret after it; and is unworthy of any noble human

soul。〃  One cannot really love the bad; but always something that

we esteem and respect as well as admire。  In short; true union

must rest on qualities of character; which rule in domestic as in

public life。



But there is something far more than mere respect and esteem in

the union between man and wife。  The feeling on which it rests

is far deeper and tenderersuch; indeed; as never exists

between men or between women。  〃In matters of affection;〃 says

Nathaniel Hawthorne; 〃there is always an impassable gulf between

man and man。  They can never quite grasp each other's hands;

and therefore man never derives any intimate help; any

heart…sustenance; from his brother man; but from womanhis

mother; his sister; or his wife。〃 (2)



Man enters a new world of joy; and sympathy; and human interest;

through the porch of love。  He enters a new world in his home

the home of his own makingaltogether different from the home of

his boyhood; where each day brings with it a succession of new

joys and experiences。  He enters also; it may be; a new world of

trials and sorrows; in which he often gathers his best culture and

discipline。  〃Family life;〃 says Sainte…Beuve; 〃may be full of

thorns and cares; but they are fruitful: all others are dry

thorns。〃  And again: 〃If a man's home; at a certain period of

life; does not contain children; it will probably be found filled

with follies or with vices。〃 (3)



A life exclusively occupied in affairs of business insensibly

tends to narrow and harden the character。  It is mainly occupied

with self…watching for advantages; and guarding against sharp

practice on the part of others。  Thus the character unconsciously

tends to grow suspicious and ungenerous。  The best corrective of

such influences is always the domestic; by withdrawing the mind

from thoughts that are wholly gainful; by taking it out of its

daily rut; and bringing it back to the sanctuary of home for

refreshment and rest:



          〃That truest; rarest light of social joy;

          Which gleams upon the man of many cares。〃



〃Business;〃 says Sir Henry Taylor; 〃does but lay waste the

approaches to the heart; whilst marriage garrisons the fortress。〃

And however the head may be occupied; by labours of ambition or of

businessif the heart be not occupied by affection for others

and sympathy with themlife; though it may appear to the outer

world to be a success; will probably be no success at all;

but a failure。 (4)



A man's real character will always be more visible in his

household than anywhere else; and his practical wisdom will be

better exhibited by the manner in which he bears rule there; than

even in the larger affairs of business or public life。  His whole

mind may be in his business; but; if he would be happy; his whole

heart must be in his home。  It is there that his genuine qualities

most surely display themselvesthere that he shows his

truthfulness; his love; his sympathy; his consideration for

others; his uprightness; his manlinessin a word; his character。

If affection be not the governing principle in a household;

domestic life may be the most intolerable of despotisms。  Without

justice; also; there can be neither love; confidence; nor respect;

on which all true domestic rule is founded。



Erasmus speaks of Sir Thomas More's home as 〃a school and exercise

of the Christian religion。〃  〃No wrangling; no angry word was

heard in it; no one was idle; every one did his duty with

alacrity; and not without a temperate cheerfulness。〃  Sir Thomas

won all hearts to obedience by his gentleness。  He was a man

clothed in household goodness; and he ruled so gently and wisely;

that his home was pervaded by an atmosphere of love and duty。  He

himself spoke of the hourly interchange of the smaller acts of

kindness with the several members of his family; as having a claim

upon his time as strong as those other public occupations of his

life which seemed to others so much more serious and important。



But the man whose affections are quickened by home…life; does not

confine his sympathies within that comparatively narrow sphere。

His love enlarges in the family; and through the family it expands

into the world。  〃Love;〃 says Emerson; 〃is a fire that; kindling

its first embers in the narrow nook of a private bosom; caught

from a wandering spark out of another private heart; glows and

enlarges until it warms and beams upon multitudes of men and

women; upon the universal heart of all; and so lights up the whole

world and nature with its generous flames。〃



It is by the regimen of domestic affection that the heart of man

is best composed and regulated。  The home is the woman's kingdom;

her state; her worldwhere she governs b
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