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will a Panjandrum reign in Beotia。 ＇She walks slowly across the
room； brooding bitterly； and thinking aloud。＇ We are so decayed；
so out of date； so feeble； so wicked in our own despite； that we
have come at last to will our own destruction。
STRAMMFEST。 You are uttering blasphemy。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 All great truths begin as blasphemies。 All the
king's horses and all the king's men cannot set up my father's
throne again。 If they could； you would have done it； would you
not？
STRAMMFEST。 God knows I would！
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 You really mean that？ You would keep the
people in their hopeless squalid misery？ you would fill those
infamous prisons again with the noblest spirits in the land？ you
would thrust the rising sun of liberty back into the sea of blood
from which it has risen？ And all because there was in the middle
of the dirt and ugliness and horror a little patch of court
splendor in which you could stand with a few orders on your
uniform； and yawn day after day and night after night in
unspeakable boredom until your grave yawned wider still； and you
fell into it because you had nothing better to do。 How can you be
so stupid； so heartless？
STRAMMFEST。 You must be mad to think of royalty in such a way。 I
never yawned at court。 The dogs yawned； but that was because they
were dogs： they had no imagination； no ideals； no sense of honor
and dignity to sustain them。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 My poor Strammfest： you were not often enough
at court to tire of it。 You were mostly soldiering； and when you
came home to have a new order pinned on your breast； your
happiness came through looking at my father and mother and at me；
and adoring us。 Was that not so？
STRAMMFEST。 Do YOU reproach me with it？ I am not ashamed of it。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Oh； it was all very well for you； Strammfest。
But think of me； of me！ standing there for you to gape at； and
knowing that I was no goddess； but only a girl like any other
girl！ It was cruelty to animals： you could have stuck up a wax
doll or a golden calf to worship； it would not have been bored。
STRAMMFEST。 Stop； or I shall renounce my allegiance to you。 I
have had women flogged for such seditious chatter as this。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Do not provoke me to send a bullet through
your head for reminding me of it。
STRAMMFEST。 You always had low tastes。 You are no true daughter
of the Panjandrums： you are a changeling； thrust into the
Panjandrina's bed by some profligate nurse。 I have heard stories
of your childhood： of how
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Ha； ha！ Yes： they took me to the circus when I
was a child。 It was my first moment of happiness； my first
glimpse of heaven。 I ran away and joined the troupe。 They caught
me and dragged me back to my gilded cage； but I had tasted
freedom； and they never could make me forget it。
STRAMMFEST。 Freedom！ To be the slave of an acrobat！ to be
exhibited to the public！ to
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Oh； I was trained to that。 I had learnt that
part of the business at court。
STRAMMFEST。 You had not been taught to strip yourself half naked
and turn head over heels
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Man； I WANTED to get rid of my swaddling
clothes and turn head over heels。 I wanted to； I wanted to； I
wanted to。 I can do it still。 Shall I do it now？
STRAMMFEST。 If you do； I swear I will throw myself from the
window so that I may meet your parents in heaven without having
my medals torn from my breast by them。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Oh； you are incorrigible。 You are mad；
infatuated。 You will not believe that we royal divinities are
mere common flesh and blood even when we step down from our
pedestals and tell you ourselves what a fool you are。 I will
argue no more with you： I will use my power。 At a word from me
your men will turn against you： already half of them do not
salute you； and you dare not punish them： you have to pretend not
to notice it。
STRAMMFEST。 It is not for you to taunt me with that if it is so。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 ＇haughtily＇。 Taunt！ I condescend to taunt！ To
taunt a common General！ You forget yourself； sir。
STRAMMFEST ＇dropping on his knee submissively＇。 Now at last you
speak like your royal self。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Oh； Strammfest； Strammfest； they have driven
your slavery into your very bones。 Why did you not spit in my
face？。
STRAMMFEST ＇rising with a shudder＇。 God forbid！
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Well； since you will be my slave； take your
orders from me。 I have not come here to save our wretched family
and our bloodstained crown。 I am come to save the Revolution。
STRAMMFEST。 Stupid as I am； I have come to think that I had
better save that than save nothing。 But what will the Revolution
do for the people？ Do not be deceived by the fine speeches of the
revolutionary leaders and the pamphlets of the revolutionary
writers。 How much liberty is there where they have gained the
upper hand？ Are they not hanging； shooting； imprisoning as much
as ever we did？ Do they ever tell the people the truth？ No： if
the truth does not suit them they spread lies instead； and make
it a crime to tell the truth。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Of course they do。 Why should they not？
STRAMMFEST ＇hardly able to believe his ears＇。 Why should they
not？
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Yes： why should they not？ We did it。 You did
it； whip in hand： you flogged women for teaching children to
read。
STRAMMFEST。 To read sedition。 To read Karl Marx。
THP GRAND DUCHESS。 Pshaw！ How could they learn to read the Bible
without learning to read Karl Marx？ Why do you not stand to your
guns and justify what you did； instead of making silly excuses？
Do you suppose I think flogging a woman worse than flogging a
man？ I； who am a woman myself！
STRAMMFEST。 I am at a loss to understand your Imperial Highness。
You seem to me to contradict yourself。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Nonsense！ I say that if the people cannot
govern themselves； they must be governed by somebody。 If they
will not do their duty without being half forced and half
humbugged； somebody must force them and humbug them。 Some
energetic and capable minority must always be in power。 Well； I
am on the side of the energetic minority whose principles I agree
with。 The Revolution is as cruel as we were； but its aims are my
aims。 Therefore I stand for the Revolution。
STRAMMFEST。 You do not know what you are saying。 This is pure
Bolshevism。 Are you； the daughter of a Panjandrum； a Bolshevist？
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 I am anything that will make the world less
like a prison and more like a circus。
STRAMMFEST。 Ah！ You still want to be a circus star。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Yes； and be billed as the Bolshevik Empress。
Nothing shall stop me。 You have your orders； General Strammfest：
save the Revolution。
STRAMMFEST。 What Revolution？ Which Revolution？ No two of your
rabble of revolutionists mean the same thing by the Revolution
What can save a mob in which every man is rushing in a different
direction？
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 I will tell you。 The war can save it。
STRAMMFEST。 The war？
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Yes； the war。 Only a great common danger and a
great common duty can unite us and weld these wrangling factions
into a solid commonwealth。
STRAMMF