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SCHNEIDEKIND ＇in a stifled voice＇。 Yes； Sir。 ＇The table vibrates
visibly。＇
STRAMMFEST。 Come out of it； you fool： you're upsetting the ink。
Schneidekind emerges； red in the face with suppressed mirth。
STRAMMFEST。 Why don't you laugh？ Don't you appreciate Her
Imperial Highness's joke？
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇suddenly becoming solemn＇。 I don't want to； sir。
STRAMMFEST。 Laugh at once； sir。 I order you to laugh。
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇with a touch of temper＇。 I really can't； sir。 ＇He
sits down decisively。＇
STRAMMFEST ＇growling at him＇。 Yah！ ＇He turns impressively to the
Grand Duchess。＇ Your Imperial Highness desires me to address you
as comrade？
THE GRAND DUCHESS ＇rising and waving a red handkerchief＇。 Long
live the Revolution； comrade！
STRAMMFEST ＇rising and saluting＇。 Proletarians of all lands；
unite。 Lieutenant Schneidekind； you will rise and sing the
Marseillaise。
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇rising＇。 But I cannot； sir。 I have no voice； no
ear。
STRAMMFEST。 Then sit down； and bury your shame in your
typewriter。 ＇Schneidekind sits down。＇ Comrade Annajanska； you
have eloped with a young officer。
THE GRAND DUCHESS ＇astounded＇。 General Strammfest； you lie。
STRAMMFEST。 Denial； comrade； is useless。 It is through that
officer that your movements have been traced。 ＇The Grand Duchess
is suddenly enlightened； and seems amused。 Strammfest continues
an a forensic manner。＇ He joined you at the Golden Anchor in
Hakonsburg。 You gave us the slip there； but the officer was
traced to Potterdam； where you rejoined him and went alone to
Premsylople。 What have you done with that unhappy young man？
Where is he？
THE GRAND DUCHESS ＇pretending to whisper an important secret＇。
Where he has always been。
STRAMMFEST ＇eagerly＇。 Where is that？
THE GRAND DUCHESS ＇impetuously＇。 In your imagination。 I came
alone。 I am alone。 Hundreds of officers travel every day from
Hakonsburg to Potterdam。 What do I know about them？
STRAMMFEST。 They travel in khaki。 They do not travel in full
dress court uniform as this man did。
SCHNEIDEKIND。 Only officers who are eloping with grand duchesses
wear court uniform： otherwise the grand duchesses could not be
seen with them。
STRAMMFEST。 Hold your tongue。 ＇Schneidekind； in high dudgeon；
folds his arms and retires from the conversation。 The General
returns to his paper and to his examination of the Grand
Duchess。＇ This officer travelled with your passport。 What have
you to say to that？
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Bosh！ How could a man travel with a woman's
passport？
STRAMMFEST。 It is quite simple； as you very well know。 A dozen
travellers arrive at the boundary。 The official collects their
passports。 He counts twelve persons； then counts the passports。
If there are twelve； he is satisfied。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Then how do you know that one of the passports
was mine？
STRAMMFEST。 A waiter at the Potterdam Hotel looked at the
officer's passport when he was in his bath。 It was your passport。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Stuff！ Why did he not have me arrested？
STRAMMFEST。 When the waiter returned to the hotel with the police
the officer had vanished； and you were there with your own
passport。 They knouted him。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Oh！ Strammfest； send these men away。 I must
speak to you alone。
STRAMMFEST ＇rising in horror＇。 No： this is the last straw： I
cannot consent。 It is impossible； utterly； eternally impossible；
that a daughter of the Imperial House should speak to any one
alone； were it even her own husband。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 You forget that there is an exception。 She may
speak to a child alone。 ＇She rises。＇ Strammfest； you have been
dandled on my grandmother's knee。 By that gracious action the
dowager Panjandrina made you a child forever。 So did Nature； by
the way。 I order you to speak to me alone。 Do you hear？ I order
you。 For seven hundred years no member of your family has ever
disobeyed an order from a member of mine。 Will you disobey me？
STRAMMFEST。 There is an alternative to obedience。 The dead cannot
disobey。 ＇He takes out his pistol and places the muzzle against
his temple。＇
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇snatching the pistol from him＇。 For God's sake；
General
STRAMMFEST ＇attacking him furiously to recover the weapon＇。 Dog
of a subaltern； restore that pistol and my honor。
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇reaching out with the pistol to the Grand Duchess＇。
Take it： quick： he is as strong as a bull。
THE GRAND DUCHESS ＇snatching it＇。 Aha！ Leave the room； all of you
except the General。 At the double！ lightning！ electricity！ ＇She
fires shot after shot； spattering the bullets about the ankles of
the soldiers。 They fly precipitately。 She turns to Schneidekind；
who has by this time been flung on the floor by the General。＇ You
too。 ＇He scrambles up。＇ March。 ＇He flies to the door。＇
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇turning at the door＇。 For your own sake； comrade
THE GRAND DUCHESS ＇indignantly＇。 Comrade！ You！！！ Go。 ＇She fires
two more shots。 He vanishes。＇
STRAMMFEST ＇making an impulsive movement towards her＇。 My
Imperial Mistress
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Stop。 I have one bullet left； if you attempt
to take this from me ＇putting the pistol to her temple＇。
STRAMMFEST ＇recoiling； and covering his eyes with his hands＇。 No
no： put it down： put it down。 I promise everything： I swear
anything； but put it down； I implore you。
THE GRAND DUCHESS ＇throwing it on the table＇。 There！
STRAMMFEST ＇uncovering his eyes＇。 Thank God！
THE GRAND DUCHESS ＇gently＇。 Strammfest： I am your comrade。 Am I
nothing more to you？
STRAMMFEST ＇falling on his knee＇。 You are； God help me； all that
is left to me of the only power I recognize on earth ＇he kisses
her hand＇。
THE GRAND DUCHESS ＇indulgently＇。 Idolater！ When will you learn
that our strength has never been in ourselves； but in your
illusions about us？ ＇She shakes off her kindliness； and sits down
in his chair。＇ Now tell me； what are your orders？ And do you mean
to obey them？
STRAMMFEST ＇starting like a goaded ox； and blundering fretfully
about the room＇。 How can I obey six different dictators； and not
one gentleman among the lot of them？ One of them orders me to
make peace with the foreign enemy。 Another orders me to offer all
the neutral countries 48 hours to choose between adopting his
views on the single tax and being instantly invaded and
annihilated。 A third orders me to go to a damned Socialist
Conference and explain that Beotia will allow no annexations and
no indemnities； and merely wishes to establish the Kingdom of
Heaven on Earth throughout the universe。 ＇He finishes behind
Schneidekind's chair。＇
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Damn their trifling！
STRAMMFEST。 I thank Your Imperial Highness from the bottom of my
heart for that expression。 Europe thanks you。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 M'yes； but＇rising＇。 Strammfest； you know
that your causethe cause of the dynastyis lost。
STRAMMFEST。 You must not say so。 It is treason； even from you。
＇He sinks； discouraged； into the chair； and covers his face with
his hand。＇
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Do not deceive yourself； General： never again
will a Panjandrum reign in Beotia。 ＇She walks slowly across the
room； brooding bitterly； and thinking aloud。＇ We are so decayed；
so out of dat