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SCHNEIDEKIND。 Asked for the vote？
STRAMMFEST。 I would have given it to her with both hands to save
her from this。
SCHNEIDEKIND。 Save her from what？ Dash it； sir； out with it。
STRAMMFEST。 She has joined the Revolution。
SCHNEIDEKIND。 But so have you； sir。 We've all joined the
Revolution。 She doesn't mean it any more than we do。
STRAMMFEST。 Heaven grant you may be right！ But that is not the
worst。 She had eloped with a young officer。 Eloped； Schneidekind；
eloped！
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇not particularly impressed＇。 Yes； Sir。
STRAMMFEST。 Annajanska； the beautiful； the innocent； my master's
daughter！ ＇He buries his face in his hands。＇
The telephone rings。
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇taking the receiver＇。 Yes： G。H。Q。 Yes。。。Don't bawl：
I'm not a general。 Who is it speaking？。。。Why didn't you say so？
don't you know your duty？ Next time you will lose your
stripe。。。Oh； they've made you a colonel； have they？ Well； they've
made me a field…marshal： now what have you to say？。。。Look here：
what did you ring up for？ I can't spend the day here listening to
your cheek。。。What！ the Grand Duchess ＇Strammfest starts。＇ Where
did you catch her？
STRAMMFEST ＇snatching the telephone and listening for the
answer＇。 Speak louder； will you： I am a General I know that； you
dolt。 Have you captured the officer that was with her？。。。
Damnation！ You shall answer for this： you let him go： he bribed
you。 You must have seen him： the fellow is in the full dress
court uniform of the Panderobajensky Hussars。 I give you twelve
hours to catch him or。。。what's that you say about the devil？ Are
you swearing at me； you。。。Thousand thunders！ ＇To Schneidekind。＇
The swine says that the Grand Duchess is a devil incarnate。 ＇Into
the telephone。＇ Filthy traitor： is that the way you dare speak of
the daughter of our anointed Panjandrum？ I'll
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇pulling the telephone from his lips＇。 Take care；
sir。
STRAMMFEST。 I won't take care： I'll have him shot。 Let go that
telephone。
SCHNEIDEKIND。 But for her own sake； sir
STRAMMFEST。 Eh？
SCHNEIDEKIND。 For her own sake they had better send her here。 She
will be safe in your hands。
STRAMMFEST ＇yielding the receiver＇。 You are right。 Be civil to
him。 I should choke ＇he sits down＇。
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇into the telephone＇。 Hullo。 Never mind all that：
it's only a fellow here who has been fooling with the telephone。
I had to leave the room for a moment。 Wash out： and send the girl
along。 We'll jolly soon teach her to behave herself here。。。Oh；
you've sent her already。 Then why the devil didn't you say so；
you＇he hangs up the telephone angrily＇。 Just fancy： they
started her off this morning： and all this is because the fellow
likes to get on the telephone and hear himself talk now that he
is a colonel。 ＇The telephone rings again。 He snatches the
receiver furiously。＇ What's the matter now？。。。＇To the General。＇
It's our own people downstairs。 ＇Into the receiver。＇ Here！ do you
suppose I've nothing else to do than to hang on to the telephone
all day？。。。What's that？ Not men enough to hold her！ What do you
mean？ ＇To the General。＇ She is there； sir。
STRAMMFEST。 Tell them to send her up。 I shall have to receive her
without even rising； without kissing her hand； to keep up
appearances before the escort。 It will break my heart。
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇into the receiver＇。 Send her up。。。Tcha！ ＇He hangs
up the receiver。＇ He says she is halfway up already： they
couldn't hold her。
The Grand Duchess bursts into the room； dragging with her two
exhausted soldiers hanging on desperately to her arms。 She is
enveloped from head to foot by a fur…lined cloak； and wears a fur
cap。
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇pointing to the bench＇。 At the word Go； place your
prisoner on the bench in a sitting posture； and take your seats
right and left of her。 Go。
The two soldiers make a supreme effort to force her to sit down。
She flings them back so that they are forced to sit on the bench
to save themselves from falling backwards over it； and is herself
dragged into sitting between them。 The second soldier； holding on
tight to the Grand Duchess with one hand； produces papers with
the other； and waves them towards Schneidekind； who takes them
from him and passes them on to the General。 He opens them and
reads them with a grave expression。
SCHNEIDEKIN。 Be good enough to wait； prisoner； until the General
has read the papers on your case。
THE GRAND DUCHESS ＇to the soldiers＇。 Let go。 ＇To Strammfest＇。
Tell them to let go； or I'll upset the bench backwards and bash
our three heads on the floor。
FIRST SOLDIER。 No； little mother。 Have mercy on the poor。
STRAMMFEST ＇growling over the edge of the paper he is reading＇。
Hold your tongue。
THE GRAND DUCHESS ＇blazing＇。 Me； or the soldier？
STRAMMFEST ＇horrified＇。 The soldier； madam。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Tell him to let go。
STRAMMFEST。 Release the lady。
The soldiers take their hands off her。 One of them wipes his
fevered brow。 The other sucks his wrist。
SCHNEIDKIND ＇fiercely＇。 'ttention！
The two soldiers sit up stiffly。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Oh； let the poor man suck his wrist。 It may be
poisoned。 I bit it。
STRAMMFEST ＇shocked＇。 You bit a common soldier！
GRAND DUCHESS。 Well； I offered to cauterize it with the poker in
the office stove。 But he was afraid。 What more could I do？
SCHNEIDEKIND。 Why did you bite him； prisoner？
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 He would not let go。
STRAMMFEST。 Did he let go when you bit him？
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 No。 ＇Patting the soldier on the back＇。 You
should give the man a cross for his devotion。 I could not go on
eating him； so I brought him along with me。
STRAMMFEST。 Prisoner
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Don't call me prisoner； General Strammfest。 My
grandmother dandled you on her knee。
STRAMMFEST ＇bursting into tears＇。 O God； yes。 Believe me； my
heart is what it was then。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Your brain also is what it was then。 I will
not be addressed by you as prisoner。
STRAMMFEST。 I may not； for your own sake； call you by your
rightful and most sacred titles。 What am I to call you？
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 The Revolution has made us comrades。 Call me
comrade。
STRAMMFEST。 I had rather die。
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 Then call me Annajanska； and I will call you
Peter Piper； as grandmamma did。
STRAMMFEST ＇painfully agitated＇。 Schneidekind； you must speak to
her： I cannot＇he breaks down。＇
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇officially＇。 The Republic of Beotia has been
compelled to confine the Panjandrum and his family； for their own
safety； within certain bounds。 You have broken those bounds。
STRAMMFEST ＇taking the word from him＇。 You are I must say ita
prisoner。 What am I to do with you？
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 You should have thought of that before you
arrested me。
STRAMMFEST。 Come； come； prisoner！ do you know what will happen to
you if you compel me to take a sterner tone with you？
THE GRAND DUCHESS。 No。 But I know what will happen to you。
STRAMAIFEST。 Pray what； prisoner？
THE GLAND DUCHESS。 Clergyman's sore throat。
Schneidekind splutters； drops a paper： and conceals his laughter
under the table。
STRAMMFEST ＇thunderously＇。 Lieutenant Schneidekind。
SCHNEIDEKIND ＇in a stifled voice＇。 Yes； Sir。 ＇The tab