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But lordly vengeance will pursue A hideous vengeance will pursue
All kinds of common people who All noblemen who venture to
Oppose our views； Opppose his views；
Or boldly choose Or boldly choose
To offer us offence。 To offer him offence。
He'd better fly at humbler game； 'Twill plunge them into grief
and shame；
Or our forbearance he must claim； His kind forbearance they must
claim；
If he'd escape If they'd escape
In any shape In any shape
A very painful wrench！ A very painful wrench。
Your powers we dauntlessly pooh…pooh： Although our threats you
now pooh…pooh；
A dire revenge will fall on you。 A dire revenge will fall on you；
If you besiege Should he besiege
Our high prestige Your high prestige
（The word 〃prestige〃 is French）。 The word 〃prestige〃 is French）。
PEERS。 Our lordly style
You shall not quench
With base canaille！
FAIRIES。 （That word is French。）
PEERS。 Distinction ebbs
Before a herd
Of vulgar plebs！
FAIRIES。 （A Latin word。）
PEERS。 'Twould fill with joy；
And madness stark
The hoi polloi！
FAIRIES。 （A Greek remark。）
PEERS。 One Latin word； one Greek remark；
And one that's French。
FAIRIES。 Your lordly style
We'll quickly quench
With base canaille！
PEERS。 （That word is French。）
FAIRIES。 Distinction ebbs
Before a herd
Of vulgar plebs！
PEERS。 （A Latin word。）
FAIRIES。 'Twill fill with joy
And madness stark
The hoi polloi！
PEERS。 （A Greek remark。）
FAIRIES。 One Latin word； one Greek remark；
And one that's French。
PEERS。 FAIRIES。
You needn't wait： We will not wait：
Away you fly！ We go sky…high！
Your threatened hate Our threatened hate
We won't defy！ You won't defy！
（Fairies threaten Peers with their wands。 Peers kneel as begging
for merry。 Phyllis implores Strephon to relent。 He casts her from
him； and she falls fainting into the arms of Lord Mountararat and
Lord Tolloller。）
END OF ACT I
ACT II
Scene。Palace Yard； Westminster。 Westminster Hall； L。 Clock
tower up； R。C。 Private Willis discovered on sentry； R。 Moonlight。
SONGPRIVATE WILLIS。
When all night long a chap remains
On sentry…go； to chase monotony
He exercises of his brains；
That is； assuming that he's got any。
Though never nurtured in the lap
Of luxury； yet I admonish you；
I am an intellectual chap；
And think of things that would astonish you。
I often think it's comicalFal； lal； la！
How Nature always does contriveFal； lal； la！
That every boy and every gal
That's born into the world alive
Is either a little Liberal
Or else a little Conservative！
Fal； lal； la！
When in that House M。P。's divide；
If they've a brain and cerebellum； too；
They've got to leave that brain outside；
And vote just as their leaders tell 'em to。
But then the prospect of a lot
Of dull M。 P。's in close proximity；
All thinking for themselves； is what
No man can face with equanimity。
Then let's rejoice with loud Fal laFal la la！
That Nature always does contriveFal lal la！
That every boy and every gal
That's born into the world alive
Is either a little Liberal
Or else a little Conservative！
Fal lal la！
（Enter Fairies； with Celia； Leila； and Fleta。 They trip round
stage。）
CHORUS OF FAIRIES。
Strephon's a Member of Parliament！
Carries every Bill he chooses。
To his measures all assent
Showing that fairies have their uses。
Whigs and Tories
Dim their glories；
Giving an ear to all his stories
Lords and Commons are both in the blues！
Strephon makes them shake in their shoes！
Shake in their shoes！
Shake in their shoes！
Strephon makes them shake in their shoes！
（Enter Peers from Westminster Hall。）
CHORUS OF PEERS。
Strephon's a Member of Parliament！
Running a…muck of all abuses。
His unqualified assent
Somehow nobody now refuses。
Whigs and Tories
Dim their glories；
Giving an ear to all his stories
Carrying every Bill he may wish：
Here's a pretty kettle of fish！
Kettle of fish！
Kettle of fish！
Here's a pretty kettle of fish！
（Enter Lord Mountararat and Lord Tolloller from Westminster Hall。）
CELIA。 You seem annoyed。
LORD MOUNT。 Annoyed！ I should think so！ Why； this
ridiculous protege of yours is playing the deuce with everything！
To…night is the second reading of his Bill to throw the Peerage
open to Competitive Examination！
LORD TOLL。 And he'll carry it； too！
LORD MOUNT。 Carry it？ Of course he will！ He's a
Parliamentary Pickfordhe carries everything！
LEILA。 Yes。 If you please； that's our fault！
LORD MOUNT。 The deuce it is！
CELIA。 Yes； we influence the members； and compel them to vote
just as he wishes them to。
LEILA。 It's our system。 It shortens the debates。
LORD TOLL。 Well； but think what it all means。 I don't so
much mind for myself； but with a House of Peers with no
grandfathers worth mentioning； the country must go to the dogs！
LEILA。 I suppose it must！
LORD MOUNT。 I don't want to say a word against brainsI've
a great respect for brainsI often wish I had some myselfbut
with a House of Peers composed exclusively of people of intellect；
what's to become of the House of Commons？
LEILA。 I never thought of that！
LORD MOUNT。 This comes of women interfering in politics。 It
so happens that if there is an institution in Great Britain which
is not susceptible of any improvement at all； it is the House of
Peers！
SONGLORD MOUNTARARAT。
When Britain really ruled the waves
（In good Queen Bess's time）
The House of Peers made no pretence
To intellec