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rapture。＇
SAPHIR Oh； it's extremely good for beginners it's admirable。
MAJOR The only question is； who will take who？
COLONEL Oh； the Duke chooses first； as a matter of course。
DUKE Oh； I couldn't thank of it you are really too good！
COLONEL Nothing of the kind。 You are a great matrimonial fish；
and it's only fair that each of these ladies should have a chance
of hooking you。 It's perfectly simple。 Observe； suppose you
choose Angela； I take Saphir； Major takes nobody。 ＇with
increasing speed＇ Suppose you choose Saphir； Major tales Angela；
I take nobody。 Suppose you choose neither； I take Angela； Major
takes Saphir。 Clear as day！
＇The officers； with obvious relief； abandon their aesthetic
attitudes； and； with the Ladies； dance into position。 L。 to
R。 1st verse： Colonel with Angela； Duke with Saphir； Major
alone。 2nd verse： Colonel alone； Angela with Duke； Saphir
with Major。 3rd verse： Colonel with Saphir； Duke alone；
Angela with Major。＇
No。 17。 If Saphir I choose to marry
Quintet
Duke； Colonel； Major； Angela； and Saphir
DUKE If Saphir I choose to marry；
I shall be fixed up for life；
Then the Colonel need not tarry；
Angela can be his wife。
MAJOR In that case unprecedented；
Single I shall live and die
I shall have to be contented
With their heartfelt sympathy！
ALL He will have to be contented
With our/their heartfelt sympathy！
In that case unprecedented；
Single he/I will/shall live and die
He/I will/shall have to be contented
With our/their heartfelt sympathy！
He/I will/shall have to be contented
With our/their heartfelt sympathy！
He/I will/shall have to be contented
With our/their heartfelt sympathy！
DUKE If on Angy I determine；
At my wedding she'll appear；
Decked in diamond and ermine。
Major then can take Saphir！
COLONEL In that case unprecedented；
Single I shall live and die
I shall have to be contented
With their heartfelt sympathy！
ALL He/I will/shall have to be contented
With our/their heartfelt sympathy！
In that case unprecedented；
Single he/I will/shall live and die
He/I will/shall have to be contented
With our/their heartfelt sympathy！
He/I will/shall have to be contented
With our/their heartfelt sympathy！
He/I will/shall have to be contented
With our/their heartfelt sympathy！
＇Positions at beginning of Verse 3： L。 to R。； COLONEL； ANGELA；
DUKE； SAPHIR； MAJOR＇
DUKE After some debate internal；
If on neither I decide；
Saphir then can take the Colonel；
＇Hands her to the COLONEL。＇
Angy be the Major's bride！
＇Hands her to the MAJOR。＇
In that case unprecedented；
Single I shall live and die
I shall have to be contented
With their heartfelt sympathy！
ALL He will have to be contented
With our/their heartfelt sympathy！
In that case unprecedented；
Single he/I will/shall live and die
He/I will/shall have to be contented
With our/their heartfelt sympathy！
He/I will/shall have to be contented
With our/their heartfelt sympathy！
He/I will/shall have to be contented
With our/their heartfelt sympathy！
＇They dance off； arm…in…arm； up…stage and off； L。U。E。； the
COLONEL leading with SAPHIR。＇
＇Enter GROSVENOR； R。U。E。＇
GROS。 It is very pleasant to be alone。 It is pleasant to be
able to gaze at leisure upon those features which all others may
gaze upon at their good will！ ＇Looking at his reflection in
hand…mirror。＇ Ah； I am a very Narcissus！
＇Enter BUNTHORNE； L。 moodily。＇
BUN。 It's no use； I can't live without admiration。 Since
Grosvenor came here； insipidity has been at a premium。 Ah； he is
there！
GROS。 Ah； Bunthorne！ Come here look！ Very graceful； isn't
it！
BUN。 ＇taking hand…mirror＇ Allow me； I haven't seen it。 Yes； it
is graceful。
GROS。 ＇taking back the mirror） Oh； good gracious！ not that
this
BUN。 You don't mean that！ Bah！ I am in no mood for trifling。
GROS。 And what is amiss？
BUN。 Ever since you came here； you have entirely monopolized the
attentions of the young ladies。 I don't like it； sir！
GROS。 My dear sir； how can I help it？ They are the plague of my
life。 My dear Mr。 Bunthorne； with your personal disadvantages；
you can have no idea of the inconvenience of being madly loved；
at first sight； by every woman you meet。
BUN。 Sir； until you came here I was adored！
GROS。 Exactly until I came here。 That's my grievance。 I cut
everybody out！ I assure you； if you could only suggest some
means whereby； consistently with my duty to society； I could
escape these inconvenient attentions； you would earn my
everlasting gratitude。
BUN。 I will do so at once。 However popular it may be with the
world at large； your personal appearance is highly objectionable
to me。
GROS。 It is？ ＇shaking his hand＇ Oh； thank you！ thank you！ How
can I express my gratitude？
BUN。 By making a complete change at once。 Your conversation
must henceforth be perfectly matter…of…fact。 You must cut your
hair； and have a back parting。 In appearance and costume you
must be absolutely commonplace。
GROS。 ＇decidedly＇ No。 Pardon me； that's impossible。
BUN。 Take care！ When I am thwarted I am very terrible。
GROS。 I can't help that。 I am a man with a mission。 And that
mission must be fulfilled。
BUN。 I don't think you quite appreciate the consequences of
thwarting me。
GROS。 I don't care what they are。
BUN。 Suppose I won't go so far as to say that I will do it
but suppose for one moment I were to curse you？ ＇GROSVENOR
quails。＇ Ah！ Very well。 Take care。
GROS。 But surely you would never do that？ ＇In great alarm＇
BUN。 I don't know。 It would be an extreme measure； no doubt。
Still
GROS。 ＇wildly＇ But you would not do it I am sure you would
not。 ＇Throwing himself at BUNTHORNE's knees； and clinging to him＇
Oh； reflect； reflect！ You had a mother once。
BUN。 Never！