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He was brave and she was fair；
Truth they made a pretty paid。
Happy little maiden she
Happy maid of Arcadee。
Moments fled as moments will
Happily enough； until
After； say； a month or two；
Robin did as Robins do。
Weary of his lover's play；
Jilted her and went away；
Wretched little maiden； she
Wretched maid of Arcadee。
To her little home she crept；
There she sat her down and wept；
Maiden wept as maidens will
Grew so thin and paleuntil
Cousin Richard came to woo。
Then again the roses grew。
Happy little maiden she
Happy maid of Arcadee。 ＇Exit Sparkeion＇
SILL。 Well Mercury； my boy； you've had a year's experience of us
here。 How do we do it？ I think we're rather an improvement on the
original godsdon't you？
MER。 Well； you see； there's a good deal to be said on both sides
of the question； you are certainly younger than the original
gods； and； therefore； more active。 On the other hand； they are
certainly older than you； and have； therefore； more experience。
On the whole I prefer you； because your mistakes amuse me。
Olympus is now in a terrible muddle；
The deputy deities all are at fault
They splutter and splash like a pig in a puddle
And dickens a one of 'em's earning his salt。
For Thespis as Jove is a terrible blunder；
Too nervous and timidtoo easy and weak
Whenever he's called on to lighten or thunder；
The thought of it keeps him awake for a week。
Then mighty Mars hasn't the pluck of a parrot。
When left in the dark he will quiver and quail；
And Vulcan has arms that would snap like a carrot；
Before he could drive in a tenpenny nail。
Then Venus's freckles are very repelling；
And Venus should not have a quint in her eyes；
The learned Minerva is weak in her spelling；
And scatters her h's all over the skies。
Then Pluto in kindhearted tenderness erring；
Can't make up his mind to let anyone die
The Times has a paragraph ever recurring；
〃Remarkable incidence of longevity。〃
On some it has some as a serious onus；
to others it's quite an advantagein short；
While ev're life office declares a big bonus；
The poor undertakers are all in the court。
Then Cupid； the rascal； forgetting his trade is
To make men and women impartially smart；
Will only shoot at pretty young ladies；
And never takes aim at a bachelor's heart。
The results of this freakor whatever you term it
Should cover the wicked young scamp with disgrace；
While ev'ry young man is as shy as a hermit；
Young ladies are popping all over the place。
This wouldn't much matterfor bashful and shymen；
When skillfully handled are certain to fall；
But； alas； that determined young bachelor Hymen
Refuses to wed anybody at all。
He swears that Love's flame is the vilest of arsons；
And looks upon marriage as quite a mistake；
Now what in the world's to become of the parsons；
And what of the artist who sugars the cake？
In short； you will see from the facts that I'm showing；
The state of the case is exceedingly sad；
If Thespis's people go on as they're going；
Olympus will certainly go to the bad。
From Jupiter downward there isn't a dab in it；
All of 'em quibble and shuffle and shirk；
A premier in Downing Street forming a cabinet；
Couldn't find people less fit for their work。
＇enter Thespis L。U。E。＇
THES。 Sillimon； you can retire。
SILL。 Sir； I
THES。 Don't pretend you can't when I say you can。 I've seen you
do itgo。 ＇exit Sillimon bowing extravagantly。 Thespis imitates
him＇Well； Mercury； I've been in power one year today。
MER。 One year today。 How do you like ruling the world？
THES。 Like it。 Why it's as straightforward as possible。 Why
there hasn't been a hitch of any kind since we came up here。 Lor'
the airs you gods and goddesses give yourselves are perfectly
sickening。 Why it's mere child's play。
MER。 Very simple isn't it？
THES。 Simple？ Why I could do it on my head。
MER。 AhI darsay you will do it on your head very soon。
THES。 What do you mean by that； Mercury？
MER。 I mean that when you've turned the world quite topsy…turvy
you won't know whether you're standing on your head or your
heels。
THES。 Well； but Mercury； it's all right at present。
MER。 Oh yesas far as we know。
THES。 Well； but； you know； we know as much as anybody knows； you
know I believe the world's still going on。
MER。 Yesas far as we can judgemuch as usual。
THES。 Well； the； give the Father of the Drama his due Mercury。
Don't be envious of the Father of the Drama。
MER。 But you see you leave so much to accident。
THES。 Well； Mercury； if I do； it's my principle。 I am an easy
man； and I like to make things as pleasant as possible。 What did
I do the day we took office？ Why I called the company together
and I said to them： 〃Here we are； you know； gods and goddesses；
no mistake about it； the real thing。 Well； we have certain duties
to discharge； let's discharge them intelligently。 Don't let us be
hampered by routine and red tape and precedent； let's set the
original gods an example； and put a liberal interpretation on our
duties。 If it occurs to any one to try an experiment in his own
department； let him try it； if he fails there's no harm done； if
he succeeds it is a distinct gain to society。 Don't hurry your
work； do it slowly and well。〃 And here we are after a twelvemonth
and not a single complaint or a single petition has reached me。
MER。 No； not yet。
THES。 What do you mean by 〃no；not yet？〃
MER。 Well； you see； you don't understand things。 All the
petitions that are addressed by men to Jupiter pass through my
hands； and its my duty to collect them and present them once a
year。
THES。 Oh； only once a year？
MER。 Only once a year
THES。 And the year is up？
MER。 Today。
THES。 Oh； then I suppose there are some complaints？
MER。 Yes； there are some。
THES。 ＇Disturbed＇ Oh； perhaps there are a good many？
MER。 There are a good many。
THES。 Oh； perhaps there are a thundering lot？
MER。 There are a thundering lot。
THES。 ＇very much disturbed＇ Oh。
MER。 You see you've been taking it so very easyand so have most
of your company。
THES。 Oh； who has been taking it easy？
MER。 Well； all except those who have been trying experiments。
THES。 Well but I suppose the experiment are ingenious？
MER。 Yes； they are ingenious； but on the whole ill…judged。 But
it's time go and summon your court。
THES。 What for。
MER。 To hear the complaints。 In five minutes they will be here。
＇Exit＇
THES。 ＇very uneasy＇ I don't know how it is； but there is
something in that young man's manner that suggests that the
father of the gods has been taking it too easy。 Perhaps it would
have been better if I hadn't given my company so much scope。 I
wonder what they've been doing。 I thi