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resembling in the least the generally accepted； virginal ideal。 She saw
him as he was； crude； powerful； relentless in his desire； his very faults
appealed。 His passion had overcome his prudence； he had not intended to
propose； but any shame she felt on this score was put to flight by a
fierce exultation over the fact that she had brought him to her feet；
that he wanted her enough to marry her。 It was wonderful to be wanted
like that！ But she could not achieve the mental picture of herself as
Ditmar's wifeespecially when； later in the evening； she walked up
Warren Street and stood gazing at his house from the opposite pavement。
She simply could not imagine herself living in that house as its
mistress。 Notwithstanding the testimony of the movies； such a
Cinderella…like transition was not within the realm of probable facts；
things just didn't happen that way。
She recalled the awed exclamation of Eda when they had walked together
along Warren Street on that evening in summer： 〃How would you like to
live there！〃and hot with sudden embarrassment and resentment she had
dragged her friend onward； to the corner。 In spite of its size； of the
spaciousness of existence it suggested； the house had not appealed to her
then。 Janet did not herself realize or estimate the innate if
undeveloped sense of form she possessed； the artist…instinct that made
her breathless on first beholding Silliston Common。 And then the vision
of Silliston had still been bright； but now the light of a slender moon
was as a gossamer silver veil through which she beheld the house； as in a
stage setting； softening and obscuring its lines； lending it qualities of
dignity and glamour that made it seem remote； unreal； unattainable。 And
she felt a sudden； overwhelming longing； as though her breast would
burst。。。。
Through the drawn blinds the lights in the second storey gleamed yellow。
A dim lamp burned in the deep vestibule； as in a sanctuary。 And then； as
though some supernaturally penetrating ray had pierced a square hole in
the lower walls； a glimpse of the interior was revealed to her； of the
living room at the north end of the house。 Two figures chased one
another around the centre tableDitmar's children！ Was Ditmar there？
Impelled irresistibly by a curiosity overcoming repugnance and fear； she
went forward slowly across the street； gained the farther pavement；
stepped over the concrete coping； and stood； shivering violently； on the
lawn； feeling like an interloper and a thief； yet held by morbid
fascination。 The children continued to romp。 The boy was strong and
swift； the girl stout and ungainly in her movements； not mistress of her
body； he caught her and twisted her arm； roughlyJanet could hear her
cries through the window…=when an elderly woman entered； seized him；
struggling with him。 He put out his tongue at her； but presently
released his sister； who stood rubbing her arm； her lips moving in
evident recrimination and complaint。 The faces of the two were plain
now； the boy resembled Ditmar； but the features of the girl； heavy and
stamped with self…indulgence； were evidently reminiscent of the woman who
had been his wife。 Then the shade was pulled down； abruptly； and Janet；
overcome by a sense of horror at her position； took to flight。。。。
When； after covering the space of a block she slowed down and tried to
imagine herself as established in that house； the stepmother of those
children； she found it impossible。 Despite the fact that her attention
had been focussed so strongly on them； the fringe of her vision had
included their surroundings； the costly furniture； the piano against the
farther wall； the music rack。 Evidently the girl was learning to play。
She felt a renewed； intenser bitterness against her own lot： she was
aware of something within her better and finer than the girl； than the
woman who had been her mother had possessedthat in her； Janet； had
lacked the advantages of development。 Could itcould it ever be
developed now？ Had this love which had come to her brought her any
nearer to the unknown realm of light she craved？。。。
CHAPTER XI
Though December had come； Sunday was like an April day before whose
sunlight the night…mists of scruples and morbid fears were scattered and
dispersed。 And Janet； as she fared forth from the Fillmore Street flat；
felt resurging in her the divine recklessness that is the very sap of
life。 The future； save of the immediate hours to come； lost its power
over her。 The blue and white beauty of the sky proclaimed all things
possible for the strong； and the air was vibrant with the sweet music of
bells； calling her to happiness。 She was going to meet happiness； to
meet loveto meet Ditmar！ The trolley which she took in Faber Street；
though lagging in its mission； seemed an agent of that happiness as it
left the city behind it and wound along the heights beside the tarvia
roadway above the river； bright glimpses of which she caught through the
openings in the woods。 And when she looked out of the window on her
right she beheld on a little forested rise a succession of tiny 〃camps〃
built by residents of Hampton whose modest incomes could not afford more
elaborate summer places； camps of all descriptions and colours； with
queer names that made her smile： 〃The Cranny；〃 〃The Nook；〃 〃Snug
Harbour；〃 〃Buena Vista；〃of course；which she thought pretty； though
she did not know its meaning； and another； in German； equally perplexing；
〃Klein aber Mein。〃 Though the windows of these places were now boarded
up； though the mosquito netting still clung rather dismally to the
porches； they were mutely suggestive of contentment and domestic joy。
Scarcely had she alighted from the car at the rendezvous he had
mentioned； beside the now deserted boathouse where in the warm weather
the members of the Hampton Rowing Club disported themselves； when she saw
an automobile approachingand recognized it as the gay 〃roadster〃 Ditmar
had exhibited to her that summer afternoon by the canal； and immediately
Ditmar himself； bringing it to a stop and leaping from it； stood before
her in the sunlight； radiating； as it seemed； more sunlight still。 With
his clipped； blond moustache and his straw…coloured hairas yet but
slightly grey at the templeshe looked a veritable conquering berserker
in his huge coat of golden fur。 Never had he appeared to better
advantage。
〃I was waiting for you；〃 he said； 〃I saw you in the car。〃 Turning to the
automobile； he stripped the tissue paper from a cluster of dark red roses
with the priceless long stems of which Lise used to rave when she worked
in the flower store。 And he held the flowers against her suit her new
suit she had worn for this meeting。
〃Oh；〃 she cried； taking a deep； intoxicating breath of their fragrance。
〃You brought thesefor me？〃
〃From Bostonmy beauty！〃
〃But I can't wear all of them！〃
〃Why not？〃 he demanded。 〃Haven't you a pin？〃
She produced one； attaching them with a gesture that seemed habitual；
though the thought of their valuerevealing in some degree her own worth
in his eyes…unnerved her。 She was warmly conscious of his gaze。 Then he
turned； and op