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Street She had not been able to eat any supper。 That throbbing of the
looms in the night！ As it grew louder and louder the tension within her
increased； broke its bounds； set her heart to throbbing toothrobbing
wildly。 She halted； and went on again； precipitately； but once more
slowed her steps as she came to West Street and the glare of light at the
end of the bridge； at a little distance； under the chequered shadows of
the bare branches； she saw something movea man； Ditmar。 She stood
motionless as he hurried toward her。
〃You've come！ You've forgiven me？〃 he asked。
〃Why were youdown there？〃 she asked。
〃Why？ Because I thoughtI thought you wouldn't want anybody to know〃
It was quite natural that he should not wish to be seen； although she had
no feeling of guilt； she herself did not wish their meeting known。 She
resented the subterfuge in him； but she made no comment because his
perplexity； his embarrassment were gratifying to her resentment； were
restoring her self…possession； giving her a sense of power。
〃We can't stay here；〃 he went on； after a moment。 〃Let's take a little
walkI've got a lot to say to you。 I want to put myself right。〃 He
tried to take her arm； but she avoided him。 They started along the canal
in the direction of the Stanley Street bridge。 〃Don't you care for me a
little？〃 he demanded。
〃Why should I？〃 she parried。
〃Thenwhy did you come？〃
〃To hear what you had to say。〃
〃You meanabout this afternoon？〃
〃Partly；〃 said Janet。
〃Wellwe'll talk it all over。 I wanted to explain about this afternoon；
especially。 I'm sorry〃
〃Sorry！〃 she exclaimed。
The vehemence of her rebukefor he recognized it as suchtook him
completely aback。 Thus she was wont； at the most unexpected moments； to
betray the passion within her； the passion that made him sick with
desire。 How was he to conquer a woman of this type； who never took
refuge in the conventional tactics of her sex； as he had known them？
〃I didn't mean that；〃 he explained desperately。 〃My Godto feel you； to
have you in my arms！ I was sorry because I frightened you。 But when
you came near me that way I just couldn't help it。 You drove me to it。〃
〃Drove you to it！〃
〃You don't understand； you don't know howhow wonderful you are。 You
make me crazy。 I love you； I want you as I've never wanted any woman
beforein a different way。 I can't explain it。 I've got so that I
can't live without you。〃 He flung his arm toward the lights of the
mills。 〃Thatthat used to be everything to me； I lived for it。 I don't
say I've been a saintbut I never really cared anything about any woman
until I knew you； until that day I went through the office and saw you
what you were。 You don't understand； I tell you。 I'm sorry for what I
did to…day because it offended youbut you drove me to it。 Most of the
time you seem cold； you're like an iceberg； you make me think you hate
me； and then all of a sudden you'll be kind； as you were the other night；
as you seemed this afternoonyou make me think I've got a chance； and
then； when you came near me； when you touched my handwhy； I didn't know
what I was doing。 I just had to have you。 A man like me can't stand
it。〃
〃Then I'd better go away；〃 she said。 〃I ought to have gone long ago。〃
〃Why？〃 he cried。 〃Why？ What's your reason？ Why do you want to ruin my
life？ You'veyou've woven yourself into ityou're a part of it。 I
never knew what it was to care for a woman before； I tell you。 There's
that mill；〃 he repeated； naively。 〃I've made it the best mill in the
country； I've got the biggest order that ever came to any millif you
went away I wouldn't care a continental about it。 If you went away I
wouldn't have any ambition left。 Because you're a part of it； don't you
see？ Youyou sort of stand for it now； in my mind。 I'm not literary； I
can't express what I'd like to say； but sometimes I used to think of that
mill as a womanand now you've come along〃 Ditmar stopped； for lack of
adequate eloquence。
She smiled in the darkness at his boyish fervour；one of the aspects of
the successful Ditmar； the Ditmar of great affairs； that appealed to her
most strongly。 She was softened； touched； she felt； too； a responsive
thrill to such a desire as his。 Yet she did not reply。 She could not。
She was learning that emotion is never simple。 And some inhibition； the
identity of which was temporarily obscured still persisted； pervading her
consciousness。。。。
They were crossing the bridge at Stanley Street； now deserted； and by
common consent they paused in the middle of it； leaning on the rail。 The
hideous chocolate factory on the point was concealed by the night；only
the lights were there； trembling on the surface of the river。 Against
the flushed sky above the city were silhouetted the high chimneys of the
power plant。 Ditmar's shoulder touched hers。 He was still pleading； but
she seemed rather to be listening to the symphony of the unseen waters
falling over the dam。 His words were like that； suggestive of a torrent
into which she longed to fling herself； yet refrained； without knowing
why。 Her hands tightened on the rail； suddenly she let it go； and led
the way toward the unfrequented district of the south side。 It was the
road to Silliston； but she had forgotten that。 Ditmar； regaining her
side； continued his pleading。 He spoke of his loneliness； which he had
never realized。 He needed her。 And she experienced an answering pang。
It still seemed incredible that he； too； who had so much； should feel
that gnawing need for human sympathy and understanding that had so often
made her unhappy。 And because of the response his need aroused in her
she did not reflect whether he could fulfil her own need； whether he
could ever understand her； whether； at any time； she could unreservedly
pour herself out to him。
〃I don't see why you want me；〃 she interrupted him at last。 〃I've never
had any advantages； I don't know anything。 I've never had a chance to
learn。 I've told you that before。〃
〃What difference does that make？ You've got more sense than any woman I
ever saw；〃 he declared。
〃It makes a great deal of difference to me；〃 she insistedand the sound
of these words on her own lips was like a summons arousing her from a
dream。 The sordidness of her life； its cruel lack of opportunity in
contrast with the gifts she felt to be hers； and on which he had dwelt；
was swept back into her mind。 Self…pity； dignity； and inherent self…
respect struggled against her woman's desire to give； an inherited racial
pride whispered that she was worthy of the best； but because she had
lacked the chance； he refrained from offering her what he would have laid
at the feet of another woman。
〃I'll give you advantagesthere's nothing I wouldn't give you。 Why
won't you come to me？ I'll take care of you。〃
〃Do you think I want to be taken care of？〃 She wheeled on him so swiftly
that he started back。 〃Is that what you think I want？〃
〃No； no；〃 he protested； when he recovered his speech。
〃Do you think I'm afterwhat you can give me？〃 she shot at him。 〃 What
you can buy for me？〃
To tell the truth； he had not tho