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had become demure； repressed。 〃Did you wish anything more this evening？〃 she
inquired。
〃That's all；〃 he said； and she saw that he was gripping the arms of his
chair。。。。
CHAPTER VII
Autumn was at hand。 All day it had rained； but now； as night fell and Janet
went homeward； the white mist from the river was creeping stealthily over the
city； disguising the familiar and sordid landmarks。 These had become
beautiful； mysterious； somehow appealing。 The electric arcs； splotches in the
veil； revealed on the Common phantom trees； and in the distance； against the
blurred lights from the Warren Street stores skirting the park could be seen
phantom vehicles； phantom people moving to and fro。 Thus； it seemed to Janet；
invaded by a pearly mist was her own soul； in which she walked in wonder；a
mist shot through and through with soft； exhilarating lights half disclosing
yet transforming and etherealizing certain landmark's there on which； formerly；
she had not cared to gaze。 She was thinking of Ditmar as she had left him
gripping his chair； as he had dismissed her for the day； curtly； almost
savagely。 She had wounded and repelled him； and lingering in her was that
exquisite touch of feara fear now not so much inspired by Ditmar as by the
semi…acknowledged recognition of certain tendencies and capacities within
herself。 Yet she rejoiced in them； she was glad she had hurt Ditmar； she would
hurt him again。 Still palpitating； she reached the house in Fillmore Street；
halting a moment with her hand on the door； knowing her face was flushed；
anxious lest her mother or Lise might notice something unusual in her manner。
But； when she had slowly mounted the stairs and lighted the gas in the bedroom
the sight of her sister's clothes cast over the chairs was proof that Lise had
already donned her evening finery and departed。 The room was filled with the
stale smell of clothes； which Janet detested。 She flung open the windows。 She
took off her hat and swiftly tidied herself； yet the relief she felt at Lise's
absence was modified by a sudden； vehement protest against sordidness。 Why
should she not live by herself amidst clean and tidy surroundings？ She had
begun to earn enough； and somehow a vista had been opened upa vista whose end
she could not see； alluring； enticing。。。。 In the dining…room； by the cleared
table； her father was reading the Banner； her mother appeared in the kitchen
door。
〃What in the world happened to you； Janet？〃 she exclaimed。
〃Nothing；〃 said Janet。 〃Mr。 Ditmar asked me to staythat was all。 He'd been
away。〃
〃I was worried； I was going to make your father go down to the mill。 I've
saved you some supper。〃
〃I don't want much；〃 Janet told her； 〃I'm not hungry。〃
〃I guess you have to work too hard in that new place；〃 said Hannah； as she
brought in the filled plate from the oven。
〃Well； it seems to agree with her； mother；〃 declared Edward； who could always
be counted on to say the wrong thing with the best of intentions。 〃I never saw
her looking as wellwhy； I swan； she's getting real pretty！〃
Hannah darted at him a glance； but restrained herself； and Janet reddened as
she tried to eat the beans placed before her。 The pork had browned and
hardened at the edges； the gravy had spread； a crust covered the potatoes。
When her father resumed his reading of the Banner and her mother went back into
the kitchen she began to speculate rather resentfully and yet excitedly why it
was that this adventure with a man； with Ditmar； made her look better； feel
better；more alive。 She was too honest to disguise from herself that it was
an adventure； a high one； fraught with all sorts of possibilities； dangers； and
delights。 Her promotion had been merely incidental。 Both her mother and
father； did they know the true circumstances；that Mr。 Ditmar desired her； was
perhaps in love with herwould be disturbed。 Undoubtedly they would have
believed that she could 〃take care〃 of herself。 She knew that matters could
not go on as they were； that she would either have to leave Mr。 Ditmar orand
here she baulked at being logical。 She had no intention of leaving him： to
remain； according to the notions of her parents； would be wrong。 Why was it
that doing wrong agreed with her； energized her； made her more alert； cleverer；
keying up her faculties？ turned life from a dull affair into a momentous one？
To abandon Ditmar would be to slump back into the humdrum； into something from
which she had magically been emancipated； symbolized by the home in which she
sat； by the red…checked tablecloth； the ugly metal lamp； the cherry chairs with
the frayed seats； the horsehair sofa from which the stuffing protruded； the
tawdry pillow with its colours； once gay； that Lise had bought at a bargain at
the Bagatelle。。。。 The wooden clock with the round face and quaint landscape
belowthe family's most cherished heirloomthough long familiar； was not so
bad； but the two yellowed engravings on the wall offended her。 They had been
wedding presents to Edward's father。 One represented a stupid German peasant
woman holding a baby； and standing in front of a thatched cottage； its
companion was a sylvan scene in which certain wooden rustics were supposed to
be enjoying themselves。 Between the two； and dotted with flyspecks； hung an
insurance calendar on which was a huge head of a lady； florid； fluffy…haired；
flirtatious。 Lise thought her beautiful。
The room was ugly。 She had long known that； but tonight the realization came
to her that what she chiefly resented in it was the note it proclaimedthe
note of a mute acquiescence； without protest or struggle； in what life might
send。 It reflected accurately the attitude of her parents； particularly of her
father。 With an odd sense of detachment； of critical remoteness and contempt
she glanced at him as he sat stupidly absorbed in his newspaper； his face
puckered； his lips pursed； and Ditmar rose before herDitmar； the embodiment
of an indomitableness that refused to be beaten and crushed。 She thought of
the story he had told her； how by self…assertion and persistence he had become
agent of the Chippering Mill； how he had convinced Mr。 Stephen Chippering of
his ability。 She could not think of the mill as belonging to the Chipperings
and the other stockholders； but to Ditmar； who had shaped it into an expression
of himself； since it was his ideal。 And now it seemed that he had made it hers
also。 She regretted having repulsed him； pushed her plate away from her； and
rose。
〃You haven't eaten anything；〃 said Hannah； who had come into the room。 〃Where
are you going？〃
〃Outto Eda's；〃 Janet answered。。。。
〃It's late；〃 Hannah objected。 But Janet departed。 Instead of going to Eda's
she walked alone； seeking the quieter streets that her thoughts might flow
undisturbed。 At ten o'clock； when she returned； the light was out in the
diningroom； her sister had not come in； and she began slowly to undress；
pausing every now and then to sit on the bed and dream； once she surprised
herself gazing into the glass with a rapt expression that was almost a smile。
What was it about her that had attracted Ditmar？ No ot