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intolerant zeal； I believe in my conscience she would have no
objection； at present； to treat on the score of matrimony with an
Anabaptist； Quaker； or Jew； and even ratify the treaty at the
expense of her own conversion。 But； perhaps； I think too hardly
of this kinswoman； who； I must own； is very little beholden to
the good opinion of
Yours；
J。 MELFORD
BATH； May 6。
To Dr LEWIS。
You ask me； why I don't take the air a…horseback； during this
fine weather？ In which of the avenues of this paradise would you
have me take that exercise？ Shall I commit myself to the high…roads
of London or Bristol； to be stifled with dust； or pressed
to death in the midst of post…chaises； flying…machines； waggons；
and coal…horses； besides the troops of fine gentlemen that take
to the highway； to shew their horsemanship； and the coaches of
fine ladies； who go thither to shew their equipages？ Shall I
attempt the Downs； and fatigue myself to death in climbing up an
eternal ascent； without any hopes of reaching the summit？ Know
then； I have made divers desperate leaps at those upper regions；
but always fell backward into this vapour…pit； exhausted and
dispirited by those ineffectual efforts； and here we poor
valetudinarians pant and struggle； like so many Chinese gudgeons；
gasping in the bottom of a punch…bowl。 By Heaven it is a kind of
enchantment！ If I do not speedily break the spell； and escape； I
may chance to give up the ghost in this nauseous stew of
corruption It was but two nights ago； that I had like to have
made my public exit； at a minute's warning。 One of my greatest
weaknesses is that of suffering myself to be over…ruled by the
opinion of people； whose judgment I despise I own； with shame
and confusion of face； that importunity of any kind I cannot
resist。 This want of courage and constancy is an original flaw in
my nature； which you must have often observed with compassion； if
not with contempt。 I am afraid some of our boasted virtues maybe
traced up to this defect。
Without further preamble； I was persuaded to go to a ball； on
purpose to see Liddy dance a minuet with a young petulant
jackanapes； the only son of a wealthy undertaker from London；
whose mother lodges in our neighbourhood； and has contracted an
acquaintance with Tabby。 I sat a couple of long hours； half
stifled； in the midst of a noisome crowd； and could not help
wondering that so many hundreds of those that rank as rational
creatures； could find entertainment in seeing a succession of
insipid animals； describing the same dull figure for a whole
evening； on an area； not much bigger than a taylor's shop…board。
If there had been any beauty； grace； activity； magnificent dress；
or variety of any kind howsoever absurd； to engage the attention；
and amuse the fancy； I should not have been surprised； but there
was no such object： it was a tiresome repetition of the same
languid； frivolous scene； performed by actors that seemed to
sleep in all their motions。 The continual swimming of these
phantoms before my eyes； gave me a swimming of the head； which
was also affected by the fouled air； circulating through such a
number of rotten human bellows。 I therefore retreated towards the
door； and stood in the passage to the next room； talking to my
friend Quin； when an end being put to the minuets； the benches
were removed to make way for the country…dances； and the
multitude rising at once； the whole atmosphere was put in
commotion。 Then； all of a sudden； came rushing upon me an
Egyptian gale； so impregnated with pestilential vapours； that my
nerves were overpowered； and I dropt senseless upon the floor。
You may easily conceive what a clamour and confusion this
accident must have produced； in such an assembly I soon
recovered； however； and found myself in an easy chair； supported
by my own people Sister Tabby； in her great tenderness； had put
me to the torture； squeezing my hand under her arm； and stuffing
my nose with spirit of hartshorn； till the whole inside was
excoriated。 I no sooner got home； than I sent for Doctor Ch；
who assured me I needed not be alarmed； for my swooning was
entirely occasioned by an accidental impression of fetid effluvia
upon nerves of uncommon sensibility。 I know not how other
people's nerves are constructed； but one would imagine they must
be made of very coarse materials； to stand the shock of such a
torrid assault。 It was； indeed； a compound of villainous smells；
in which the most violent stinks； and the most powerful perfumes；
contended for the mastery。 Imagine to yourself a high exalted
essence of mingled odours； arising from putrid gums；
imposthumated lungs； sour flatulencies； rank armpits； sweating
feet； running sores and issues； plasters； ointments； and
embrocations； hungary…water； spirit of lavender； assafoetida
drops； musk； hartshorn； and sal volatile； besides a thousand
frowzy steams； which I could not analyse。 Such； O Dick！ is the
fragrant aether we breathe in the polite assemblies of Bath Such
is the atmosphere I have exchanged for the pure； elastic；
animating air of the Welsh mountains O Rus； quando te aspiciam！…
I wonder what the devil possessed me
But few words are best： I have taken my resolution You may well
suppose I don't intend to entertain the company with a second
exhibition I have promised； in an evil hour； to proceed to
London； and that promise shall be performed； but my stay in the
metropolis shall be brief。 I have； for the benefit of my health；
projected an expedition to the North； which； I hope； will afford
some agreeable pastime。 I have never travelled farther that way
than Scarborough； and； I think； it is a reproach upon me； as a
British freeholder； to have lived so long without making an
excursion to the other side of the Tweed。 Besides； I have some
relations settled in Yorkshire； to whom it may not be improper to
introduce my nephew and his sister At present； I have nothing to
add； but that Tabby is happily disentangled from the Irish
Baronet； and that I will not fail to make you acquainted； from
time to time； with the sequel of our adventures： a mark of
consideration； which； perhaps； you would willingly dispense with
in
Your humble servant；
M。 BRAMBLE
BATH； May 8。
To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS； of Jesus college； Oxon。
DEAR PHILLIPS；
A few days ago we were terribly alarmed by my uncle's fainting at
the ball He has been ever since cursing his own folly； for going
thither at the request of an impertinent woman。 He declares； he
will sooner visit a house infected with the plague； than trust
himself in such a nauseous spital for the future； for he swears
the accident was occasioned by the stench of the crowd； and that
he would never desire a stronger proof of our being made of very
gross materials； than our having withstood the annoyance； by
which he was so much discomposed。 For my part； I am very thankful
for the coarseness of my organs； being in no danger of ever
falling a sacrifice to the delicacy of my nose。 Mr Bramble is
extravagantly delicate in all his sensations； both of soul and
body。 I was informed by Dr Lewis； that he once fought a duel with
an officer of the horseguards； for tur