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frighted into a fit； from which she was no sooner recovered； than
Mrs Tabitha began a lecture upon patience； which her brother
interrupted with a most significant grin； 'True； sister； God
increase my patience and your discretion。 I wonder （added he）
what sort of sonata we are to expect from this overture； in which
the devil； that presides over horrid sounds； hath given us such
variations of discord The trampling of porters； the creaking
and crashing of trunks； the snarling of curs； the scolding of
women； the squeaking and squalling of fiddles and hautboys out of
tune； the bouncing of the Irish baronet over…head； and the
bursting； belching； and brattling of the French…horns in the
passage （not to mention the harmonious peal that still thunders
from the Abbey steeple） succeeding one another without
interruption； like the different parts of the same concert； have
given me such an idea of what a poor invalid has to expect in
this temple； dedicated to Silence and Repose； that I shall
certainly shift my quarters to…morrow； and endeavour to
effectuate my retreat before Sir Ulic opens the ball with my lady
Mac Manus； a conjunction that bodes me no good。' This intimation
was by no means agreeable to Mrs Tabitha； whose ears were not
quite so delicate as those of her brother She said it would be
great folly to move from such agreeable lodgings； the moment they
were comfortably settled。 She wondered he should be such an enemy
to music and mirth。 She heard no noise but of his own making： it
was impossible to manage a family in dumb…shew。 He might harp as
long as he pleased upon her scolding； but she never scolded；
except for his advantage； but he would never be satisfied； even
tho'f she should sweat blood and water in his service I have a
great notion that our aunt； who is now declining into the most
desperate state of celibacy； had formed some design upon the
heart of Sir Ulic Mackilligut； which she feared might be
frustrated by our abrupt departure from these lodgings。 Her
brother； eyeing her askance； 'Pardon me； sister （said he） I
should be a savage； indeed； were I insensible of my own felicity；
in having such a mild； complaisant； good…humoured； and
considerate companion and housekeeper；
but as I have got a weak head； and my sense of hearing is
painfully acute； before I have recourse to plugs of wool and
cotton； I'll try whether I can't find another lodging； where I
shall have more quiet and less music。' He accordingly dispatched
his man upon this service； and next day he found a small house in
Milsham…street； which he hires by the week。 Here； at least； we
enjoy convenience and quiet within doors； as much as Tabby's
temper will allow； but the squire still complains of flying pains
in the stomach and head； for which he bathes and drinks the
waters。 He is not so bad； however； but that he goes in person to
the pump； the rooms； and the coffeehouses； where he picks up
continual food for ridicule and satire。 If I can glean any thing
for your amusement； either from his observation or my own； you
shall have it freely； though I am afraid it will poorly
compensate the trouble of reading these tedious
insipid letters of；
Dear Phillips；
Yours always；
J。 MELFORD
To Dr LEWIS。
BATH； April 23。
DEAR DOCTOR；
If I did not know that the exercise of your profession has
habituated you to the hearing of complaints； I should make a
conscience of troubling you with my correspondence； which may be
truly called the lamentations of Matthew Bramble。 Yet I cannot
help thinking I have some right to discharge the overflowings of
my spleen upon you； whose province it is to remove those
disorders that occasioned it； and let me tell you； it is no small
alleviation of my grievances； that I have a sensible friend； to
whom I can communicate my crusty humours； which； by retention；
would grow intolerably acrimonious。
You must know； I find nothing but disappointment at Bath； which
is so altered； that I can scarce believe it is the same place
that I frequented about thirty years ago。 Methinks I hear you
say； 'Altered it is； without all doubt： but then it is altered
for the better； a truth which； perhaps； you would own without
hesitation； if you yourself was not altered for the worse。' The
reflection may； for aught I know； be just。 The inconveniences
which I overlooked in the high…day of health； will naturally
strike with exaggerated impression on the irritable nerves of an
invalid； surprised by premature old age； and shattered with long…suffering
But； I believe； you will not deny； that this place；
which Nature and Providence seem to have intended as a resource
from distemper and disquiet； is become the very centre of racket
and dissipation。 Instead of that peace； tranquillity； and case；
so necessary to those who labour under bad health； weak nerves；
and irregular spirits； here we have nothing but noise； tumult；
and hurry； with the fatigue and slavery of maintaining a
ceremonial； more stiff； formal； and oppressive； than the
etiquette of a German elector。 A national hospital it may be； but
one would imagine that none but lunatics are admitted； and truly；
I will give you leave to call me so； if I stay much longer at
Bath。 But I shall take another opportunity to explain my
sentiments at greater length on this subject I was impatient
to see the boasted improvements in architecture； for which the
upper parts of the town have been so much celebrated and t'other
day I made a circuit of all the new buildings。 The Square； though
irregular； is； on the whole； pretty well laid out； spacious；
open； and airy； and； in my opinion； by far the most wholesome and
agreeable situation in Bath； especially the upper side of it； but
the avenues to it are mean； dirty； dangerous； and indirect。 Its
communication with the Baths； is through the yard of an inn；
where the poor trembling valetudinarian is carried in a chair；
betwixt the heels of a double row of horses； wincing under the
curry…combs of grooms and postilions； over and above the hazard
of being obstructed； or overturned by the carriages which are
continually making their exit or their entrance I suppose
after some chairmen shall have been maimed； and a few lives lost
by those accidents； the corporation will think； in earnest； about
providing a more safe and commodious passage。 The Circus is a
pretty bauble； contrived for shew； and looks like Vespasian's
amphitheatre turned outside in。 If we consider it in point of
magnificence； the great number of small doors belonging to the
separate houses； the inconsiderable height of the different
orders； the affected ornaments of the architrave； which are both
childish and misplaced； and the areas projecting into the street；
surrounded with iron rails； destroy a good part of its effect
upon the eye； and； perhaps； we shall find it still more
defective； if we view it in the light of convenience。 The figure
of each separate dwelling…house； being the segment of a circle；
must spoil the symmetry of the rooms； by contracting them towards
the street windows； and leaving a larger sweep in the space
behind。 If； instead of the areas and iron rails； which seem to be
of very little use； th