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you have indeed been guilty of such appalling folly it is difficult
to see what you can turn your hand to； and I suppose you will try to
find a clerkship in an office。 Your salary will doubtless be low at
first； but you have made your bed and must not complain if you have
to lie upon it。 If you take pains to please your employers they
will not be backward in promoting you。
〃When I first heard from Mr Overton of the unspeakable calamity
which had befallen your mother and myself； I had resolved not to see
you again。 I am unwilling； however； to have recourse to a measure
which would deprive you of your last connecting link with
respectable people。 Your mother and I will see you as soon as you
come out of prison； not at Battersbywe do not wish you to come
down here at presentbut somewhere else； probably in London。 You
need not shrink from seeing us； we shall not reproach you。 We will
then decide about your future。
〃At present our impression is that you will find a fairer start
probably in Australia or New Zealand than here； and I am prepared to
find you 75 pounds or even if necessary so far as 100 pounds to pay
your passage money。 Once in the colony you must be dependent upon
your own exertions。
〃May Heaven prosper them and you； and restore you to us years hence
a respected member of society。Your affectionate father； T。
PONTIFEX。〃
Then there was a postscript in Christina's writing。
〃My darling； darling boy； pray with me daily and hourly that we may
yet again become a happy； united； God…fearing family as we were
before this horrible pain fell upon us。Your sorrowing but ever
loving mother； 〃C。 P。〃
This letter did not produce the effect on Ernest that it would have
done before his imprisonment began。 His father and mother thought
they could take him up as they had left him off。 They forgot the
rapidity with which development follows misfortune； if the sufferer
is young and of a sound temperament。 Ernest made no reply to his
father's letter； but his desire for a total break developed into
something like a passion。 〃There are orphanages；〃 he exclaimed to
himself； 〃for children who have lost their parentsoh！ why； why；
why； are there no harbours of refuge for grown men who have not yet
lost them？〃 And he brooded over the bliss of Melchisedek who had
been born an orphan； without father； without mother； and without
descent。
CHAPTER LXVIII
When I think over all that Ernest told me about his prison
meditations； and the conclusions he was drawn to； it occurs to me
that in reality he was wanting to do the very last thing which it
would have entered into his head to think of wanting。 I mean that
he was trying to give up father and mother for Christ's sake。 He
would have said he was giving them up because he thought they
hindered him in the pursuit of his truest and most lasting
happiness。 Granted； but what is this if it is not Christ？ What is
Christ if He is not this？ He who takes the highest and most self…
respecting view of his own welfare which it is in his power to
conceive； and adheres to it in spite of conventionality； is a
Christian whether he knows it and calls himself one； or whether he
does not。 A rose is not the less a rose because it does not know
its own name。
What if circumstances had made his duty more easy for him than it
would be to most men？ That was his luck； as much as it is other
people's luck to have other duties made easy for them by accident of
birth。 Surely if people are born rich or handsome they have a right
to their good fortune。 Some I know； will say that one man has no
right to be born with a better constitution than another； others
again will say that luck is the only righteous object of human
veneration。 Both； I daresay； can make out a very good case； but
whichever may be right surely Ernest had as much right to the good
luck of finding a duty made easier as he had had to the bad fortune
of falling into the scrape which had got him into prison。 A man is
not to be sneered at for having a trump card in his hand； he is only
to be sneered at if he plays his trump card badly。
Indeed； I question whether it is ever much harder for anyone to give
up father and mother for Christ's sake than it was for Ernest。 The
relations between the parties will have almost always been severely
strained before it comes to this。 I doubt whether anyone was ever
yet required to give up those to whom he was tenderly attached for a
mere matter of conscience： he will have ceased to be tenderly
attached to them long before he is called upon to break with them；
for differences of opinion concerning any matter of vital importance
spring from differences of constitution； and these will already have
led to so much other disagreement that the 〃giving up〃 when it
comes； is like giving up an aching but very loose and hollow tooth。
It is the loss of those whom we are not required to give up for
Christ's sake which is really painful to us。 Then there is a wrench
in earnest。 Happily； no matter how light the task that is demanded
from us； it is enough if we do it； we reap our reward； much as
though it were a Herculean labour。
But to return； the conclusion Ernest came to was that he would be a
tailor。 He talked the matter over with the chaplain； who told him
there was no reason why he should not be able to earn his six or
seven shillings a day by the time he came out of prison； if he chose
to learn the trade during the remainder of his termnot quite three
months； the doctor said he was strong enough for this； and that it
was about the only thing he was as yet fit for； so he left the
infirmary sooner than he would otherwise have done and entered the
tailor's shop； overjoyed at the thoughts of seeing his way again；
and confident of rising some day if he could only get a firm
foothold to start from。
Everyone whom he had to do with saw that he did not belong to what
are called the criminal classes； and finding him eager to learn and
to save trouble always treated him kindly and almost respectfully。
He did not find the work irksome： it was far more pleasant than
making Latin and Greek verses at Roughborough； he felt that he would
rather be here in prison than at Roughborough againyes； or even at
Cambridge itself。 The only trouble he was ever in danger of getting
into was through exchanging words or looks with the more decent…
looking of his fellow…prisoners。 This was forbidden； but he never
missed a chance of breaking the rules in this respect。
Any man of his ability who was at the same time anxious to learn
would of course make rapid progress； and before he left prison the
warder said he was as good a tailor with his three months'
apprenticeship as many a man was with twelve。 Ernest had never
before been so much praised by any of his teachers。 Each day as he
grew stronger in health and more accustomed to his surroundings he
saw some fresh advantage in his position； an advantage which he had
not aimed at； but which had come almost in spite of himself； and he
marvelled at his own good fortune； which had ordered things so
greatly better for him than he could have ordered them for h