按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
rules if Ernest's state had allowed it； his illness prevented this；
and the governor left it to the chaplain and the doctor to break the
news to him when they thought him strong enough to bear it； which
was now the case。 In the meantime I received a formal official
document saying that my letter had been received and would be
communicated to the prisoner in due course； I believe it was simply
through a mistake on the part of a clerk that I was not informed of
Ernest's illness； but I heard nothing of it till I saw him by his
own desire a few days after the chaplin had broken to him the
substance of what I had written。
Ernest was terribly shocked when he heard of the loss of his money；
but his ignorance of the world prevented him from seeing the full
extent of the mischief。 He had never been in serious want of money
yet； and did not know what it meant。 In reality； money losses are
the hardest to bear of any by those who are old enough to comprehend
them。
A man can stand being told that he must submit to a severe surgical
operation； or that he has some disease which will shortly kill him；
or that he will be a cripple or blind for the rest of his life；
dreadful as such tidings must be； we do not find that they unnerve
the greater number of mankind； most men； indeed； go coolly enough
even to be hanged； but the strongest quail before financial ruin；
and the better men they are； the more complete； as a general rule；
is their prostration。 Suicide is a common consequence of money
losses； it is rarely sought as a means of escape from bodily
suffering。 If we feel that we have a competence at our backs； so
that we can die warm and quietly in our beds； with no need to worry
about expense； we live our lives out to the dregs； no matter how
excruciating our torments。 Job probably felt the loss of his flocks
and herds more than that of his wife and family； for he could enjoy
his flocks and herds without his family； but not his familynot for
longif he had lost all his money。 Loss of money indeed is not
only the worst pain in itself； but it is the parent of all others。
Let a man have been brought up to a moderate competence； and have no
specially； then let his money be suddenly taken from him； and how
long is his health likely to survive the change in all his little
ways which loss of money will entail？ How long again is the esteem
and sympathy of friends likely to survive ruin？ People may be very
sorry for us； but their attitude towards us hitherto has been based
upon the supposition that we were situated thus or thus in money
matters； when this breaks down there must be a restatement of the
social problem so far as we are concerned； we have been obtaining
esteem under false pretences。 Granted； then； that the three most
serious losses which a man can suffer are those affecting money；
health and reputation。 Loss of money is far the worst； then comes
ill…health； and then loss of reputation； loss of reputation is a bad
third； for； if a man keeps health and money unimpaired； it will be
generally found that his loss of reputation is due to breaches of
parvenu conventions only； and not to violations of those older；
better established canons whose authority is unquestionable。 In
this case a man may grow a new reputation as easily as a lobster
grows a new claw； or； if he have health and money； may thrive in
great peace of mind without any reputation at all。 The only chance
for a man who has lost his money is that he shall still be young
enough to stand uprooting and transplanting without more than
temporary derangement； and this I believed my godson still to be。
By the prison rules he might receive and send a letter after he had
been in gaol three months； and might also receive one visit from a
friend。 When he received my letter； he at once asked me to come and
see him； which of course I did。 I found him very much changed； and
still so feeble； that the exertion of coming from the infirmary to
the cell in which I was allowed to see him； and the agitation of
seeing me were too much for him。 At first he quite broke down； and
I was so pained at the state in which I found him； that I was on the
point of breaking my instructions then and there。 I contented
myself； however； for the time； with assuring him that I would help
him as soon as he came out of prison； and that； when he had made up
his mind what he would do； he was to come to me for what money might
be necessary； if he could not get it from his father。 To make it
easier for him I told him that his aunt； on her deathbed； had
desired me to do something of this sort should an emergency arise；
so that he would only be taking what his aunt had left him。
〃Then；〃 said he； 〃I will not take the 100 pounds from my father； and
I will never see him or my mother again。〃
I said： 〃Take the 100 pounds； Ernest； and as much more as you can
get； and then do not see them again if you do not like。〃
This Ernest would not do。 If he took money from them； he could not
cut them； and he wanted to cut them。 I thought my godson would get
on a great deal better if he would only have the firmness to do as
he proposed； as regards breaking completely with his father and
mother； and said so。 〃Then don't you like them？〃 said he； with a
look of surprise。
〃Like them！〃 said I； 〃I think they're horrid。〃
〃Oh； that's the kindest thing of all you have done for me；〃 he
exclaimed； 〃I thought allall middle…aged people liked my father
and mother。〃
He had been about to call me old； but I was only fifty…seven； and
was not going to have this； so I made a face when I saw him
hesitating； which drove him into 〃middle…aged。〃
〃If you like it；〃 said I； 〃I will say all your family are horrid
except yourself and your aunt Alethea。 The greater part of every
family is always odious； if there are one or two good ones in a very
large family； it is as much as can be expected。〃
〃Thank you；〃 he replied； gratefully； 〃I think I can now stand almost
anything。 I will come and see you as soon as I come out of gaol。
Goodbye。〃 For the warder had told us that the time allowed for our
interview was at an end。
CHAPTER LXVII
As soon as Ernest found that he had no money to look to upon leaving
prison he saw that his dreams about emigrating and farming must come
to an end； for he knew that he was incapable of working at the
plough or with the axe for long together himself。 And now it seemed
he should have no money to pay any one else for doing so。 It was
this that resolved him to part once and for all with his parents。
If he had been going abroad he could have kept up relations with
them； for they would have been too far off to interfere with him。
He knew his father and mother would object to being cut； they would
wish to appear kind and forgiving； they would also dislike having no
further power to plague him； but he knew also very well that so long
as he and they ran in harness together they would be always pulling
one way and he another。 He wanted to drop the gentleman and go down
into the ranks； beginning on the lowest rung of the ladder； where no
one would know of his disgrace or mind it if he did know；