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wanted not to say； but Towneley soon gave him to understand that he
must do as he was bid； and selected myself from the few whom he had
named。 〃Writes for the stage； does he？〃 said Towneley。 〃Does he
write comedy？〃 Ernest thought Towneley meant that I ought to write
tragedy； and said he was afraid I wrote burlesque。 〃Oh； come；
come；〃 said Towneley； 〃that will do famously。 I will go and see him
at once。〃 But on second thoughts he determined to stay with Ernest
and go with him to the police court。 So he sent Mrs Jupp for me。
Mrs Jupp hurried so fast to fetch me； that in spite of the weather's
being still cold she was 〃giving out；〃 as she expressed it； in
streams。 The poor old wretch would have taken a cab； but she had no
money and did not like to ask Towneley to give her some。 I saw that
something very serious had happened； but was not prepared for
anything so deplorable as what Mrs Jupp actually told me。 As for
Mrs Jupp； she said her heart had been jumping out of its socket and
back again ever since。
I got her into a cab with me； and we went off to the police station。
She talked without ceasing。
〃And if the neighbours do say cruel things about me； I'm sure it
ain't no thanks to HIM if they're true。 Mr Pontifex never took a
bit o' notice of me no more than if I had been his sister。 Oh； it's
enough to make anyone's back bone curdle。 Then I thought perhaps my
Rose might get on better with him； so I set her to dust him and
clean him as though I were busy； and gave her such a beautiful clean
new pinny； but he never took no notice of her no more than he did of
me； and she didn't want no compliment neither； she wouldn't have
taken not a shilling from him； though he had offered it； but he
didn't seem to know anything at all。 I can't make out what the
young men are a…coming to； I wish the horn may blow for me and the
worms take me this very night； if it's not enough to make a woman
stand before God and strike the one half on 'em silly to see the way
they goes on； and many an honest girl has to go home night after
night without so much as a fourpenny bit and paying three and
sixpence a week rent； and not a shelf nor cupboard in the place and
a dead wall in front of the window。
〃It's not Mr Pontifex；〃 she continued； 〃that's so bad； he's good at
heart。 He never says nothing unkind。 And then there's his dear
eyesbut when I speak about that to my Rose she calls me an old
fool and says I ought to be poleaxed。 It's that Pryer as I can't
abide。 Oh he！ He likes to wound a woman's feelings he do； and to
chuck anything in her face； he dohe likes to wind a woman up and
to wound her down。〃 （Mrs Jupp pronounced 〃wound〃 as though it
rhymed to 〃sound。〃） 〃It's a gentleman's place to soothe a woman；
but he； he'd like to tear her hair out by handfuls。 Why； he told me
to my face that I was a…getting old； old indeed！ there's not a woman
in London knows my age except Mrs Davis down in the Old Kent Road；
and beyond a haricot vein in one of my legs I'm as young as ever I
was。 Old indeed！ There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle。
I hate his nasty insinuendos。〃
Even if I had wanted to stop her； I could not have done so。 She
said a great deal more than I have given above。 I have left out
much because I could not remember it； but still more because it was
really impossible for me to print it。
When we got to the police station I found Towneley and Ernest
already there。 The charge was one of assault； but not aggravated by
serious violence。 Even so； however； it was lamentable enough； and
we both saw that our young friend would have to pay dearly for his
inexperience。 We tried to bail him out for the night； but the
Inspector would not accept bail； so we were forced to leave him。
Towneley then went back to Mrs Jupp's to see if he could find Miss
Maitland and arrange matters with her。 She was not there； but he
traced her to the house of her father； who lived at Camberwell。 The
father was furious and would not hear of any intercession on
Towneley's part。 He was a Dissenter； and glad to make the most of
any scandal against a clergyman； Towneley； therefore； was obliged to
return unsuccessful。
Next morning； Towneleywho regarded Ernest as a drowning man； who
must be picked out of the water somehow or other if possible；
irrespective of the way in which he got into itcalled on me； and
we put the matter into the hands of one of the best known attorneys
of the day。 I was greatly pleased with Towneley； and thought it due
to him to tell him what I had told no one else。 I mean that Ernest
would come into his aunt's money in a few years' time； and would
therefore then be rich。
Towneley was doing all he could before this； but I knew that the
knowledge I had imparted to him would make him feel as though Ernest
was more one of his own class； and had therefore a greater claim
upon his good offices。 As for Ernest himself； his gratitude was
greater than could be expressed in words。 I have heard him say that
he can call to mind many moments； each one of which might well pass
for the happiest of his life； but that this night stands clearly out
as the most painful that he ever passed； yet so kind and considerate
was Towneley that it was quite bearable。
But with all the best wishes in the world neither Towneley nor I
could do much to help beyond giving our moral support。 Our attorney
told us that the magistrate before whom Ernest would appear was very
severe on cases of this description； and that the fact of his being
a clergyman would tell against him。 〃Ask for no remand；〃 he said；
〃and make no defence。 We will call Mr Pontifex's rector and you two
gentlemen as witnesses for previous good character。 These will be
enough。 Let us then make a profound apology and beg the magistrate
to deal with the case summarily instead of sending it for trial。 If
you can get this； believe me； your young friend will be better out
of it than he has any right to expect。〃
CHAPTER LXII
This advice； besides being obviously sensible； would end in saving
Ernest both time and suspense of mind； so we had no hesitation in
adopting it。 The case was called on about eleven o'clock； but we
got it adjourned till three； so as to give time for Ernest to set
his affairs as straight as he could； and to execute a power of
attorney enabling me to act for him as I should think fit while he
was in prison。
Then all came out about Pryer and the College of Spiritual
Pathology。 Ernest had even greater difficulty in making a clean
breast of this than he had had in telling us about Miss Maitland；
but he told us all； and the upshot was that he had actually handed
over to Pryer every halfpenny that he then possessed with no other
security than Pryer's I。O。U。's for the amount。 Ernest； though still
declining to believe that Pryer could be guilty of dishonourable
conduct； was becoming alive to the folly of what he had been doing；
he still made sure； however； of recovering； at any rate； the greater
part of his property as soon as Pryer should have had time to sell。
Towneley and I were of a different opinion； but we did not say what
we thought。
It was