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mother。
Theobald's father then had told him the truth but not the whole
truth。 Nevertheless； what right had Theobald to complain？
Certainly it was rather hard to make him think that he and his were
to be gainers； and get the honour and glory of the bequest； when all
the time the money was virtually being taken out of Theobald's own
pocket。 On the other hand the father doubtless argued that he had
never told Theobald he was to have anything at all； he had a full
right to do what he liked with his own money； if Theobald chose to
indulge in unwarrantable expectations that was no affair of his； as
it was he was providing for him liberally； and if he did take 2500
pounds of Theobald's share he was still leaving it to Theobald's
son； which； of course； was much the same thing in the end。
No one can deny that the testator had strict right upon his side；
nevertheless the reader will agree with me that Theobald and
Christina might not have considered the christening dinner so great
a success if all the facts had been before them。 Mr Pontifex had
during his own life…time set up a monument in Elmhurst Church to the
memory of his wife （a slab with urns and cherubs like illegitimate
children of King George the Fourth； and all the rest of it）； and had
left space for his own epitaph underneath that of his wife。 I do
not know whether it was written by one of his children； or whether
they got some friend to write it for them。 I do not believe that
any satire was intended。 I believe that it was the intention to
convey that nothing short of the Day of Judgement could give anyone
an idea how good a man Mr Pontifex had been； but at first I found it
hard to think that it was free from guile。
The epitaph begins by giving dates of birth and death； then sets out
that the deceased was for many years head of the firm of Fairlie and
Pontifex； and also resident in the parish of Elmhurst。 There is not
a syllable of either praise or dispraise。 The last lines run as
follows：…
HE NOW LIES AWAITING A JOYFUL RESURRECTION
AT THE LAST DAY。
WHAT MANNER OF MAN HE WAS
THAT DAY WILL DISCOVER。
CHAPTER XIX
This much； however； we may say in the meantime； that having lived to
be nearly seventy…three years old and died rich he must have been in
very fair harmony with his surroundings。 I have heard it said
sometimes that such and such a person's life was a lie： but no
man's life can be a very bad lie； as long as it continues at all it
is at worst nine…tenths of it true。
Mr Pontifex's life not only continued a long time； but was
prosperous right up to the end。 Is not this enough？ Being in this
world is it not our most obvious business to make the most of itto
observe what things do bona fide tend to long life and comfort； and
to act accordingly？ All animals； except man； know that the
principal business of life is to enjoy itand they do enjoy it as
much as man and other circumstances will allow。 He has spent his
life best who has enjoyed it most； God will take care that we do not
enjoy it any more than is good for us。 If Mr Pontifex is to be
blamed it is for not having eaten and drunk less and thus suffered
less from his liver； and lived perhaps a year or two longer。
Goodness is naught unless it tends towards old age and sufficiency
of means。 I speak broadly and exceptis excipiendis。 So the
psalmist says； 〃The righteous shall not lack anything that is good。〃
Either this is mere poetical license； or it follows that he who
lacks anything that is good is not righteous； there is a presumption
also that he who has passed a long life without lacking anything
that is good has himself also been good enough for practical
purposes。
Mr Pontifex never lacked anything he much cared about。 True； he
might have been happier than he was if he had cared about things
which he did not care for； but the gist of this lies in the 〃if he
had cared。〃 We have all sinned and come short of the glory of
making ourselves as comfortable as we easily might have done； but in
this particular case Mr Pontifex did not care； and would not have
gained much by getting what he did not want。
There is no casting of swine's meat before men worse than that which
would flatter virtue as though her true origin were not good enough
for her； but she must have a lineage； deduced as it were by
spiritual heralds； from some stock with which she has nothing to do。
Virtue's true lineage is older and more respectable than any that
can be invented for her。 She springs from man's experience
concerning his own well…beingand this； though not infallible； is
still the least fallible thing we have。 A system which cannot stand
without a better foundation than this must have something so
unstable within itself that it will topple over on whatever pedestal
we place it。
The world has long ago settled that morality and virtue are what
bring men peace at the last。 〃Be virtuous；〃 says the copy…book；
〃and you will be happy。〃 Surely if a reputed virtue fails often in
this respect it is only an insidious form of vice； and if a reputed
vice brings no very serious mischief on a man's later years it is
not so bad a vice as it is said to be。 Unfortunately though we are
all of a mind about the main opinion that virtue is what tends to
happiness； and vice what ends in sorrow； we are not so unanimous
about detailsthat is to say as to whether any given course； such；
we will say； as smoking； has a tendency to happiness or the reverse。
I submit it as the result of my own poor observation； that a good
deal of unkindness and selfishness on the part of parents towards
children is not generally followed by ill consequences to the
parents themselves。 They may cast a gloom over their children's
lives for many years without having to suffer anything that will
hurt them。 I should say； then； that it shows no great moral
obliquity on the part of parents if within certain limits they make
their children's lives a burden to them。
Granted that Mr Pontifex's was not a very exalted character；
ordinary men are not required to have very exalted characters。 It
is enough if we are of the same moral and mental stature as the
〃main〃 or 〃mean〃 part of menthat is to say as the average。
It is involved in the very essence of things that rich men who die
old shall have been mean。 The greatest and wisest of mankind will
be almost always found to be the meanestthe ones who have kept the
〃mean〃 best between excess either of virtue or vice。 They hardly
ever have been prosperous if they have not done this； and；
considering how many miscarry altogether； it is no small feather in
a man's cap if he has been no worse than his neighbours。 Homer
tells us about some one who made it his business ＇Greek text＇
always to excel and to stand higher than other people。 What an
uncompanionable disagreeable person he must have been！ Homer's
heroes generally came to a bad end； and I doubt not that this
gentleman； whoever he was； did so sooner or later。
A very high standard； again； involves the possession of rare
virtues； and rare virtues are like rare plants or animals； things
that have not been able to hold their own in th