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accept me I will at once come and talk the matter over with Mr and
Mrs Allaby； whom I shall hope one day to be allowed to call father
and mother。
〃I ought to warn you that in the event of your consenting to be my
wife it may be years before our union can be consummated； for I
cannot marry till a college living is offered me。 If； therefore；
you see fit to reject me； I shall be grieved rather than surprised。…
…Ever most devotedly yours；
〃THEOBALD PONTIFEX。〃
And this was all that his public school and University education had
been able to do for Theobald！ Nevertheless for his own part he
thought his letter rather a good one； and congratulated himself in
particular upon his cleverness in inventing the story of a previous
attachment； behind which he intended to shelter himself if Christina
should complain of any lack of fervour in his behaviour to her。
I need not give Christina's answer； which of course was to accept。
Much as Theobald feared old Mr Allaby I do not think he would have
wrought up his courage to the point of actually proposing but for
the fact of the engagement being necessarily a long one； during
which a dozen things might turn up to break it off。 However much he
may have disapproved of long engagements for other people； I doubt
whether he had any particular objection to them in his own case。 A
pair of lovers are like sunset and sunrise： there are such things
every day but we very seldom see them。 Theobald posed as the most
ardent lover imaginable； but； to use the vulgarism for the moment in
fashion； it was all 〃side。〃 Christina was in love； as indeed she
had been twenty times already。 But then Christina was
impressionable and could not even hear the name 〃Missolonghi〃
mentioned without bursting into tears。 When Theobald accidentally
left his sermon case behind him one Sunday； she slept with it in her
bosom and was forlorn when she had as it were to disgorge it on the
following Sunday； but I do not think Theobald ever took so much as
an old toothbrush of Christina's to bed with him。 Why； I knew a
young man once who got hold of his mistress's skates and slept with
them for a fortnight and cried when he had to give them up。
CHAPTER XII
Theobald's engagement was all very well as far as it went； but there
was an old gentleman with a bald head and rosy cheeks in a counting…
house in Paternoster Row who must sooner or later be told of what
his son had in view； and Theobald's heart fluttered when he asked
himself what view this old gentleman was likely to take of the
situation。 The murder； however； had to come out； and Theobald and
his intended； perhaps imprudently； resolved on making a clean breast
of it at once。 He wrote what he and Christina； who helped him to
draft the letter； thought to be everything that was filial； and
expressed himself as anxious to be married with the least possible
delay。 He could not help saying this； as Christina was at his
shoulder； and he knew it was safe； for his father might be trusted
not to help him。 He wound up by asking his father to use any
influence that might be at his command to help him to get a living；
inasmuch as it might be years before a college living fell vacant；
and he saw no other chance of being able to marry； for neither he
nor his intended had any money except Theobald's fellowship； which
would； of course； lapse on his taking a wife。
Any step of Theobald's was sure to be objectionable in his father's
eyes； but that at three…and…twenty he should want to marry a
penniless girl who was four years older than himself； afforded a
golden opportunity which the old gentlemanfor so I may now call
him； as he was at least sixtyembraced with characteristic
eagerness。
〃The ineffable folly；〃 he wrote； on receiving his son's letter； 〃of
your fancied passion for Miss Allaby fills me with the gravest
apprehensions。 Making every allowance for a lover's blindness； I
still have no doubt that the lady herself is a well…conducted and
amiable young person； who would not disgrace our family； but were
she ten times more desirable as a daughter…in…law than I can allow
myself to hope； your joint poverty is an insuperable objection to
your marriage。 I have four other children besides yourself； and my
expenses do not permit me to save money。 This year they have been
especially heavy； indeed I have had to purchase two not
inconsiderable pieces of land which happened to come into the market
and were necessary to complete a property which I have long wanted
to round off in this way。 I gave you an education regardless of
expense； which has put you in possession of a comfortable income； at
an age when many young men are dependent。 I have thus started you
fairly in life； and may claim that you should cease to be a drag
upon me further。 Long engagements are proverbially unsatisfactory；
and in the present case the prospect seems interminable。 What
interest； pray； do you suppose I have that I could get a living for
you？ Can I go up and down the country begging people to provide for
my son because he has taken it into his head to want to get married
without sufficient means？
〃I do not wish to write unkindly； nothing can be farther from my
real feelings towards you； but there is often more kindness in plain
speaking than in any amount of soft words which can end in no
substantial performance。 Of course； I bear in mind that you are of
age； and can therefore please yourself； but if you choose to claim
the strict letter of the law； and act without consideration for your
father's feelings； you must not be surprised if you one day find
that I have claimed a like liberty for myself。Believe me； your
affectionate father； G。 PONTIFEX。〃
I found this letter along with those already given and a few more
which I need not give； but throughout which the same tone prevails；
and in all of which there is the more or less obvious shake of the
will near the end of the letter。 Remembering Theobald's general
dumbness concerning his father for the many years I knew him after
his father's death； there was an eloquence in the preservation of
the letters and in their endorsement 〃Letters from my father；〃 which
seemed to have with it some faint odour of health and nature。
Theobald did not show his father's letter to Christina； nor； indeed；
I believe to anyone。 He was by nature secretive； and had been
repressed too much and too early to be capable of railing or blowing
off steam where his father was concerned。 His sense of wrong was
still inarticulate； felt as a dull dead weight ever present day by
day； and if he woke at night…time still continually present； but he
hardly knew what it was。 I was about the closest friend he had； and
I saw but little of him； for I could not get on with him for long
together。 He said I had no reverence； whereas I thought that I had
plenty of reverence for what deserved to be revered； but that the
gods which he deemed golden were in reality made of baser metal。 He
never； as I have said； complained of his father to me； and his only
other friends were； like himself； staid and prim； of evangelical
tendencies； and deeply imbued with a sense of t