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the last ten years as regularly as the week comes round。 As long as
she does not let the flat iron actually go we know that she can
still worry out her financial problems in her own hugger…mugger way
and had better be left to do so。 If the flat iron were to go beyond
redemption； we should know that it was time to interfere。 I do not
know why； but there is something about her which always reminds me
of a woman who was as unlike her as one person can be to anotherI
mean Ernest's mother。
The last time I had a long gossip with her was about two years ago
when she came to me instead of to Ernest。 She said she had seen a
cab drive up just as she was going to enter the staircase； and had
seen Mr Pontifex's pa put his Beelzebub old head out of the window；
so she had come on to me； for she hadn't greased her sides for no
curtsey； not for the likes of him。 She professed to be very much
down on her luck。 Her lodgers did use her so dreadful； going away
without paying and leaving not so much as a stick behind； but to…day
she was as pleased as a penny carrot。 She had had such a lovely
dinnera cushion of ham and green peas。 She had had a good cry
over it； but then she was so silly； she was。
〃And there's that Bell；〃 she continued； though I could not detect
any appearance of connection； 〃it's enough to give anyone the hump
to see him now that he's taken to chapel…going； and his mother's
prepared to meet Jesus and all that to me； and now she ain't a…going
to die； and drinks half a bottle of champagne a day； and then Grigg；
him as preaches； you know； asked Bell if I really was too gay； not
but what when I was young I'd snap my fingers at any 'fly by night'
in Holborn； and if I was togged out and had my teeth I'd do it now。
I lost my poor dear Watkins； but of course that couldn't be helped；
and then I lost my dear Rose。 Silly faggot to go and ride on a cart
and catch the bronchitics。 I never thought when I kissed my dear
Rose in Pullen's Passage and she gave me the chop； that I should
never see her again； and her gentleman friend was fond of her too；
though he was a married man。 I daresay she's gone to bits by now。
If she could rise and see me with my bad finger； she would cry； and
I should say； 'Never mind； ducky； I'm all right。' Oh！ dear； it's
coming on to rain。 I do hate a wet Saturday nightpoor women with
their nice white stockings and their living to get；〃 etc。； etc。
And yet age does not wither this godless old sinner； as people would
say it ought to do。 Whatever life she has led； it has agreed with
her very sufficiently。 At times she gives us to understand that she
is still much solicited； at others she takes quite a different tone。
She has not allowed even Joe King so much as to put his lips to hers
this ten years。 She would rather have a mutton chop any day。 〃But
ah！ you should have seen me when I was sweet seventeen。 I was the
very moral of my poor dear mother； and she was a pretty woman；
though I say it that shouldn't。 She had such a splendid mouth of
teeth。 It was a sin to bury her in her teeth。〃
I only knew of one thing at which she professes to be shocked。 It
is that her son Tom and his wife Topsy are teaching the baby to
swear。 〃Oh！ it's too dreadful awful；〃 she exclaimed； 〃I don't know
the meaning of the words； but I tell him he's a drunken sot。〃 I
believe the old woman in reality rather likes it。
〃But surely； Mrs Jupp；〃 said I； 〃Tom's wife used not to be Topsy。
You used to speak of her as Pheeb。〃
〃Ah！ yes；〃 she answered； 〃but Pheeb behaved bad； and it's Topsy
now。〃
Ernest's daughter Alice married the boy who had been her playmate
more than a year ago。 Ernest gave them all they said they wanted
and a good deal more。 They have already presented him with a
grandson； and I doubt not； will do so with many more。 Georgie
though only twenty…one is owner of a fine steamer which his father
has bought for him。 He began when about thirteen going with old
Rollings and Jack in the barge from Rochester to the upper Thames
with bricks； then his father bought him and Jack barges of their
own； and then he bought them both ships； and then steamers。 I do
not exactly know how people make money by having a steamer； but he
does whatever is usual； and from all I can gather makes it pay
extremely well。 He is a good deal like his father in the face； but
without a sparkso far as I have been able to observeany literary
ability； he has a fair sense of humour and abundance of common
sense； but his instinct is clearly a practical one。 I am not sure
that he does not put me in mind almost more of what Theobald would
have been if he had been a sailor； than of Ernest。 Ernest used to
go down to Battersby and stay with his father for a few days twice a
year until Theobald's death； and the pair continued on excellent
terms； in spite of what the neighbouring clergy call 〃the atrocious
books which Mr Ernest Pontifex〃 has written。 Perhaps the harmony；
or rather absence of discord which subsisted between the pair was
due to the fact that Theobald had never looked into the inside of
one of his son's works； and Ernest； of course； never alluded to them
in his father's presence。 The pair； as I have said； got on
excellently； but it was doubtless as well that Ernest's visits were
short and not too frequent。 Once Theobald wanted Ernest to bring
his children； but Ernest knew they would not like it； so this was
not done。
Sometimes Theobald came up to town on small business matters and
paid a visit to Ernest's chambers； he generally brought with him a
couple of lettuces； or a cabbage； or half…a…dozen turnips done up in
a piece of brown paper； and told Ernest that he knew fresh
vegetables were rather hard to get in London； and he had brought him
some。 Ernest had often explained to him that the vegetables were of
no use to him； and that he had rather he would not bring them； but
Theobald persisted； I believe through sheer love of doing something
which his son did not like； but which was too small to take notice
of。
He lived until about twelve months ago； when he was found dead in
his bed on the morning after having written the following letter to
his son：…
〃Dear Ernest；I've nothing particular to write about； but your
letter has been lying for some days in the limbo of unanswered
letters； to wit my pocket； and it's time it was answered。
〃I keep wonderfully well and am able to walk my five or six miles
with comfort； but at my age there's no knowing how long it will
last； and time flies quickly。 I have been busy potting plants all
the morning； but this afternoon is wet。
〃What is this horrid Government going to do with Ireland？ I don't
exactly wish they'd blow up Mr Gladstone； but if a mad bull would
chivy him there； and he would never come back any more； I should not
be sorry。 Lord Hartington is not exactly the man I should like to
set in his place； but he would be immeasurably better than
Gladstone。
〃I miss your sister Charlotte more than I can express。 She kept my
household accounts； and I could pour out to her all little worries；
and now that Joey is married too； I don't know what I should do if
one or other o