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to the porch were to be made。 Jagged
pieces of yet unhewn sandstone they
were； with cruel edges。
But to…day when the girls said； 〃Oh；
come！〃 my newly discovered badness
echoed their words。 I wanted to go
with them。 So I went。
Out of the corner of my eye I could
see father in the distance； but I
wouldn't look at him for fear he would
be magnetised into turning my way。
The girls had gone up； and I followed；
with Julie in my arms。 Did I hear
father call to me to stop？ He always
said I did； but I think he was mistaken。
Perhaps I merely didn't wish to hear
him。 Anyway； I went on； balancing
myself as best I could。 The other girls
had reached the top； and turned to look
at us； and I knew they were afraid。 I
think they would have held out their
hands to help me； but I had both arms
clasped about Julie。 So I staggered on；
got almost to the top； then seemed sub…
merged beneath a wave of fears mine
and those of the girls and fell！ As
I went； I curled like a squirrel around
Julie； and when I struck； she was still
in my grasp and on top of me。 But she
rolled out of my relaxing clutch after
that； and when father and mother came
running； she was lying on the stones。
They thought she had fallen that way；
and as the breath had been fairly
knocked out of her little body； so that
she was not crying； they were more
frightened than ever； and ran with her
to the house； wild with apprehension。
As for me； I got up somehow and fol…
owed。 I decided no bones were broken；
but I was dizzy and faint； and aching
from bruises。 I saw my little friends
running down the plank and making off
along the poplar drive； white…faced and
panting。 I knew they thought Julie
was dead and that I'd be hung。 I had
the same idea。
When we got to the sitting…room I
had a strange feeling of never having
seen it before。 The tall stove； the
green and oak ingrain carpet； the green
rep chairs； the what…not with its shells；
the steel engravings on the walls；
seemed absolutely strange。 I sat down
and counted the diamond…shaped figures
on the oilcloth in front of the stove；
and after a long time I heard Julie cry；
and mother say with immeasurable re…
lief：
〃Aside from a shaking up； I don't
believe she's a bit the worse。〃
Then some one brought me a cupful
of cold water and asked me if I was
hurt。 I shook my head and would not
speak。 I then heard； in simple and em…
phatic Anglo…Saxon the opinions of my
father and mother about a girl who
would put her little sister's life in dan…
ger； and would disobey her parents。
And after that I was put in my moth…
er's bedroom to pass the rest of the
day； and was told I needn't expect to
come to the table with the others。
I accepted my fate stoically； and be…
ing permitted to carry my own chair
into the room； I put it by the western
window； which looked across two miles
of meadows waving in buckwheat； in
clover and grass； and sat there in a cu…
rious torpor of spirit。 I was glad to
be alone； for I had discovered a new
idea the idea of sin。 I wished to be
left to myself till I could think out what
it meant。 I believed I could do that by
night； and； after I had got to the root
of the matter； I could cast the whole
ugly thing out of my soul and be good
all the rest of my life。
There was a large upholstered chair
standing in front of me； and I put my
head down on the seat of that and
thought and thought。 My thoughts
reached so far that I grew frightened；
and I was relieved when I felt the little
soft grey veils drawing about me which
I knew meant sleep。 It seemed to me
that I really ought to weep that the
circumstances were such that I should
weep。 But sleep was sweeter than
tears； and not only the pain in my mind
but the jar and bruise of my body
seemed to demand that oblivion。 So I
gave way to the impulse； and the grey
veils wrapped around and around me
as a spider's web enwraps a fly。 And
for hours I knew nothing。
When I awoke it was the close of day。
Long tender shadows lay across the
fields； the sky had that wonderful clear…
ness and kindness which is like a hu…
man eye； and the soft wind puffing in
at the window was sweet with field
fragrance。 A glass of milk and a plate
with two slices of bread lay on the win…
dow sill by me； as if some one had
placed them there from the outside。 I
could hear birds settling down for the
night； and cheeping drowsily to each
other。 My cat came on the scene and；
seeing me； looked at me with serious；
expanding eyes； twitched her whiskers
cynically； and passed on。 Presently I
heard the voices of my family。 They
were re…entering the sitting…room。 Sup…
per was over supper； with its cold
meats and shining jellies； its 〃floating
island〃 and its fig cake。 I could hear
a voice that was new to me。 It was
deeper than my mother's； and its ac…
cent was different。 It was the sort of
a voice that made you feel that its
owner had talked with many different
kinds of people； and had contrived to
hold her own with all of them。 I knew
it belonged to Aunt Cordelia。 And now
that I was not to see her； I felt my curi…
osity arising in me。 I wanted to look
at her； and still more I wished to ask
her about goodness。 She was rich and
good！ Was one the result of the other？
And which came first？ I dimly per…
ceived that if there had been more
money in our house there would have
been more help； and I would not have
been led into temptation baby would
not have been left too long upon my
hands。 However； after a few moments
of self…pity； I rejected this thought。 I
knew I really was to blame； and it oc…
curred to me that I would add to my
faults if I tried to put the blame on any…
body else。
Now that the first shock was over and
that my sleep had refreshed me； I be…
gan to see what terrible sorrow had
been mine if the fall had really injured
Julie； and a sudden thought shook me。
She might； after all； have been hurt in
some way that would show itself later
on。 I yearned to look upon her； to see
if all her sweetness and softness was in…
tact。 It seemed to me that if I could
not see her the rising grief in me would
break； and I would sob aloud。 I didn't
want to do that。 I had no notion to
call any attention to myself whatever；
but see the baby I must。 So； softly；
and like a thief； I opened the door com…
municating with the little dressing…
room in which Julie's cradle stood。 The
curtain had been drawn and it was al…
most dark； but I found my way to
Julie's bassinet。 I could not quite see
her； but the delicate odour of her
breath came up to me； and I found her
little hand and slipped my finger in it。
It was gripped in a baby pressure； and
I stood there enraptured； feeling as if
a flower had caressed me。 I was
thrilled through and through with hap…
piness； and with love for this little crea…
ture； whom my selfishness might have
destroyed。 There was nothing in what
had happened during this moment or
two when I stood by her side to assure
me that all was well with her； but I did
so believe； and I said over and over：
〃Thank you； God！ Thank you； God！〃
And now my tears began to flow。
They came in a storm a storm I could
not control； and I fled back t