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n the bear。 The ruse succeeded。
The bear came up to the berries; and stopped。 Not accustomed to eat out of a pail; he tipped it over; and nosed about in the fruit; 〃gorming〃 (if there is such a word) it down; mixed with leaves and dirt; like a pig。 The bear is a worse feeder than the pig。 Whenever he disturbs a maple…sugar camp in the spring; he always upsets the buckets of syrup; and tramples round in the sticky sweets; wasting more than he eats。 The bear's manners are thoroughly disagreeable。
As soon as my enemy's head was down; I started and ran。 Somewhat out of breath; and shaky; I reached my faithful rifle。 It was not a moment too soon。 I heard the bear crashing through the brush after me。 Enraged at my duplicity; he was now coming on with blood in his eye。 I felt that the time of one of us was probably short。 The rapidity of thought at such moments of peril is well known。 I thought an octavo volume; had it illustrated and published; sold fifty thousand copies; and went to Europe on the proceeds; while that bear was loping across the clearing。 As I was cocking the gun; I made a hasty and unsatisfactory review of my whole life。 I noted; that; even in such a compulsory review; it is almost impossible to think of any good thing you have done。 The sins come out uncommonly strong。 I recollected a newspaper subscription I had delayed paying years and years ago; until both editor and newspaper were dead; and which now never could be paid to all eternity。
The bear was coming on。
I tried to remember what I had read about encounters with bears。 I couldn't recall an instance in which a man had run away from a bear in the woods and escaped; although I recalled plenty where the bear had run from the man and got off。 I tried to think what is the best way to kill a bear with a gun; when you are not near enough to club him with the stock。 My first thought was to fire at his head; to plant the ball between his eyes: but this is a dangerous experiment。 The bear's brain is very small; and; unless you hit that; the bear does not mind a bullet in his head; that is; not at the time。 I remembered that the instant death of the bear would follow a bullet planted just back of his fore…leg; and sent into his heart。 This spot is also difficult to reach; unless the bear stands off; side towards you; like a target。 I finally determined to fire at him generally。
The bear was coming on。
The contest seemed to me very different from anything at Creedmoor。 I had carefully read the reports of the shooting there; but it was not easy to apply the experience I had thus acquired。 I hesitated whether I had better fire lying on my stomach or lying on my back; and resting the gun on my toes。 But in neither position; I reflected; could I see the bear until he was upon me。 The range was too short; and the bear wouldn't wait for me to examine the thermometer; and note the direction of the wind。 Trial of the Creedmoor method; therefore; had to be abandoned; and I bitterly regretted that I had not read more accounts of offhand shooting。
For the bear was coming on。
I tried to fix my last thoughts upon my family。 As my family is small; this was not difficult。 Dread of displeasing my wife; or hurting her feelings; was uppermost in my mind。 What would be her anxiety as hour after hour passed on; and I did not return! What would the rest of the household think as the afternoon passed; and no blackberries came! What would be my wife's mortification when the news was brought that her husband had been eaten by a bear! I cannot imagine anything more ignominious than to have a husband eaten by a bear。 And this was not my only anxiety。 The mind at such times is not under control。 With the gravest fears the most whimsical ideas will occur。 I looked beyond the mourning friends; and thought what kind of an epitaph they would be compelled to put upon the stone。
Something like this:
HERE LIE THE REMAINS
OF _______________
EATEN BY A BEAR Aug。 20; 1877
It is a very unheroic and even disagreeable epitaph。 That 〃eaten by a bear〃 is intolerable。 It is grotesque。 And then I thought what an inadequate language the English is for compact expression。 It would not answer to put upon the stone simply 〃eaten〃; for that is indefinite; and requires explanation: it might mean eaten by a cannibal。 This difficulty could not occur in the German; where essen signifies the act of feeding by a man; and fressen by a beast。 How simple the thing would be in German!
HIER LIEGT HOCHWOHLGEBOREN HERR _____ _______
GEFRESSEN Aug。 20; 1877
That explains itself。 The well…born one was eaten by a beast; and presumably by a bear;an animal that has a bad reputation since the days of Elisha。
The bear was coming on; he had; in fact; come on。 I judged that he could see the whites of my eyes。 All my subsequent reflections were confused。 I raised the gun; covered the bear's breast with the sight; and let drive。 Then I turned; and ran like a deer。 I did not hear the bear pursuing。 I looked back。 The bear had stopped。 He was lying down。 I then remembered that the best thing to do after having fired your gun is to reload it。 I slipped in a charge; keeping my eyes on the bear。 He never stirred。 I walked back suspiciously。 There was a quiver in the hindlegs; but no other motion。 Still; he might be shamming: bears often sham。 To make sure; I approached; and put a ball into his head。 He didn't mind it now: he minded nothing。 Death had come to him with a merciful suddenness。 He was calm in death。 In order that he might remain so; I blew his brains out; and then started for home。 I had killed a bear!
Notwithstanding my excitement; I managed to saunter into the house with an unconcerned air。 There was a chorus of voices:
〃Where are your blackberries?〃 〃Why were you gone so long?〃 〃Where's your pail?〃
〃I left the pail。〃
〃Left the pail? What for?〃
〃A bear wanted it。〃
〃Oh; nonsense!〃
〃Well; the last I saw of it; a bear had it。〃
〃Oh; come! You didn't really see a bear?〃
〃Yes; but I did really see a real bear。〃
〃Did he run?〃
〃Yes: he ran after me。〃
〃I don't believe a word of it。 What did you do?〃
〃Oh! nothing particularexcept kill the bear。〃
Cries of 〃Gammon!〃 〃Don't believe it!〃 〃Where's the bear?〃
〃If you want to see the bear; you must go up into the woods。 I couldn't bring him down alone。〃
Having satisfied the household that something extraordinary had occurred; and excited the posthumous fear of some of them for my own safety; I went down into the valley to get help。 The great bear… hunter; who keeps one of the summer boarding…houses; received my story with a smile of incredulity; and the incredulity spread to the other inhabitants and to the boarders as soon as the story was known。 However; as I insisted in all soberness; and offered to lead them to the bear; a party of forty or fifty people at last started off with me to bring the bear in。 Nobody believed there was any bear in the case; but everyb