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much further by the carriage road； and his sister never liked going
there。 He had never failed to visit his old home till last year； and
he felt almost glad that he had not carried his thoughts； at that time；
to his father's grave。 It was strange that； with so many more
important burdens on his mind； it had been this apparent trivial
omission； this slight to Stylehurst； that； in both his illnesses； had
been the most frequently recurring idea that had tormented him in his
delirium。 So deeply； securely fixed is the love of the home of
childhood in men of his mould； in whom it is perhaps the most deeply
rooted of all affections。
Without telling his sister his intention； he hired a horse； and pursued
the familiar moorland tracks。 He passed South Moor Farm； it gave him
too great a pang to look at it； he rode on across the hills where he
used to walk with his sisters； and looked down into narrow valleys
where he had often wandered with his fishing…rod； lost in musings on
plans for attaining distinction； and seeing himself the greatest man of
his day。 Little had he then guessed the misery which would place him
in the way to the coveted elevation； or how he would loathe it when it
lay within his grasp。
There were the trees round the vicarage； the church spire； the
cottages； whose old rough aspect； he knew so well； the whole scene；
once 'redolent of joy and youth：' but how unable to breathe on him a
second spring！ He put up his horse at the village inn； and went to
make his first call on Susan； the old clerk's wife； and one of the
persons in all the world who loved him best。 He knocked； opened the
door； and saw her； startled from her tea…drinking； looking at him as a
stranger。
'Bless us！ It beant never Master Philip！' she exclaimed； her head
shaking very fast； as she recognized his voice。 'Why； sir； what a turn
you give me！ How bad you be looking； to be sure！'
He sat down and talked with her； with feelings of comfort。 Tidings of
Sir Guy's death had reached the old woman； and she was much grieved for
the nice； cheerful…spoken young gentleman； whom she well remembered；
for she； like almost every one who had ever had any intercourse with
him； had an impression left of him； as of something winning； engaging；
brightening； like a sunbeam。 It was a refreshment to meet with one who
would lament him for his own sake； and had no congratulations for
Philip himself； and the 'Sure； sure； it must have been very bad for
you；' with which old Susan heard of the circumstances； carried more of
the comfort of genuine sympathy than all his sister's attempts at
condolence。
She told him how often Sir Guy had been at Stylehurst； how he had
talked to her about the archdeacon； and especially she remembered his
helping her husband one day when he found him trimming the ash over the
archdeacon's grave。 He used to come very often to church there； more
in the latter part of his stay； there was one Sundayit was the one
before Michaelmashe was there all day； walking in the churchyard； and
sitting in the porch between services。
'The Sunday before Michaelmas！' thought Philip； the very time when he
had been most earnest in driving his uncle to persecute； and delighting
himself in having triumphed over Guy at last； and obtained tangible
demonstration of his own foresight； and his cousin's vindictive spirit。
What had he been throwing away？ Where had； in truth； been the hostile
spirit？
He took the key of the church； and walked thither alone； standing for
several minutes by the three graves； with a sensation as if his father
was demanding of him an account of the boy he had watched； and brought
to his ancestral home； and cared for through his orphaned childhood。
But for the prayer…book； the pledge that there had been peace at the
last； how could he have borne it？
Here was the paved path he had trodden in early childhood； holding his
mother's hand； where； at each recurring vacation during his school
days； he had walked between his admiring sisters； in the consciousness
that he was the pride of his family and of all the parish。 Of his
family？ Did he not remember his return home for the last time before
that when he was summoned thither by his father's death？ He had come
with a whole freight of prizes； and letters full of praises； and as he
stood； in expectation of the expression of delighted satisfaction； his
father laid his hand on his trophy； the pile of books； saying；
gravely；' All this would I give； Philip； for one evidence of humility
of mind。'
It had been his father's one reproof。 He had thought it unjust and
unreasonable； and turned away impatiently to be caressed and admired by
Margaret。 His real feelings had been told to her； because she
flattered them and shared them； he had been reserved and guarded with
the father who would have perceived and repressed that ambition and the
self…sufficiency which he himself had never known to exist； nor
regarded as aught but sober truth。 It had been his bane； that he had
been always too sensible to betray outwardly his self…conceit； in any
form that could lead to its being noticed。
He opened the church door； closed it behind him； and locked himself in。
He came up to the communion rail； where he had knelt for the first time
twelve years ago； confident in himself； and unconscious of the fears
with which his father's voice was trembling in the intensity of his
prayer for one in whom there was no tangible evil； and whom others
thought a pattern of all that could be desired by the fondest hopes。
He knelt down； with bowed head； and hands clasped。 Assuredly； if his
father could have beheld him then； it would have been with rejoicing。
He would not have sorrowed that robust frame was wasted； and great
strength brought low； that the noble features were worn； the healthful
cheek pale； and the powerful intellect clouded and weakened； he would
hardly have mourned for the cruel grief and suffering； such would have
been his joy that the humble； penitent； obedient heart had been won at
last。 Above all； he would have rejoiced that the words that most
soothed that wounded spirit were；'A broken and contrite heart； 0 God；
Thou wilt not despise。'
There was solace in that solemn silence； the throbs of head and heart
were stilled in the calm around。 It was as if the influences of the
prayers breathed for him by his father； and the forgiveness and loving
spirit there won by Guy； had been waiting for him there till he came to
take them up； for thenceforth the bitterest of his despair was over；
and he could receive each token of Amabel's forgiveness； not as heaped
coals of fire； but as an earnest of forgiveness sealed in heaven。
The worst was over； and though he still had much to suffer； he was
becoming open to receive comfort； the blank dark remorse in which he
had been living b