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the life of charlotte bronte-1-第48章

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ntents of my knowledge…box that a quaigh of usquebaugh does upon those of most other bipeds。  I see everything COULEUR DE ROSE; and am strongly inclined to dance a jig; if I knew how。  I think I must partake of the nature of a pig or an assboth which animals are strongly affected by a high wind。  From what quarter the wind blows I cannot tell; for I never could in my life; but I should very much like to know how the great brewing…tub of Bridlington Bay works; and what sort of yeasty froth rises just now on the waves。

〃A woman of the name of Mrs。 B。; it seems; wants a teacher。  I wish she would have me; and I have written to Miss W。 to tell her so。  Verily; it is a delightful thing to live here at home; at full liberty to do just what one pleases。  But I recollect some scrubby old fable about grasshoppers and ants; by a scrubby old knave yclept AEsop; the grasshoppers sang all the summer; and starved all the winter。

〃A distant relation of mine; one Patrick Branwell; has set off to seek his fortune in the wild; wandering; adventurous; romantic; knight…errant…like capacity of clerk on the Leeds and Manchester Railroad。  Leeds and Manchesterwhere are they?  Cities in the wilderness; like Tadmor; alias Palmyraare they not?

〃There is one little trait respecting Mr。 W。 which lately came to my knowledge; which gives a glimpse of the better side of his character。  Last Saturday night he had been sitting an hour in the parlour with Papa; and; as he went away; I heard Papa say to him 'What is the matter with you?  You seem in very low spirits to… night。'  'Oh; I don't know。  I've been to see a poor young girl; who; I'm afraid; is dying。'  'Indeed; what is her name?'  'Susan Bland; the daughter of John Bland; the superintendent。'  Now Susan Bland is my oldest and best scholar in the Sunday…school; and; when I heard that; I thought I would go as soon as I could to see her。  I did go on Monday afternoon; and found her on her way to that 'bourn whence no traveller returns。'  After sitting with her some time; I happened to ask her mother; if she thought a little port wine would do her good。  She replied that the doctor had recommended it; and that when Mr。 W。 was last there; he had brought them a bottle of wine and jar of preserves。  She added; that he was always good…natured to poor folks; and seemed to have a deal of feeling and kind…heartedness about him。  No doubt; there are defects in his character; but there are also good qualities 。 。 。 God bless him!  I wonder who; with his advantages; would be without his faults。  I know many of his faulty actions; many of his weak points; yet; where I am; he shall always find rather a defender than an accuser。  To be sure; my opinion will go but a very little way to decide his character; what of that?  People should do right as far as their ability extends。  You are not to suppose; from all this; that Mr。 W。 and I are on very amiable terms; we are not at all。  We are distant; cold; and reserved。  We seldom speak; and when we do; it is only to exchange the most trivial and common…place remarks。〃


The Mrs。 B。 alluded to in this letter; as in want of a governess; entered into a correspondence with Miss Bronte; and expressed herself much pleased with the letters she received from her; with the 〃style and candour of the application;〃 in which Charlotte had taken care to tell her; that if she wanted a showy; elegant; or fashionable person; her correspondent was not fitted for such a situation。  But Mrs。 B。 required her governess to give instructions in music and singing; for which Charlotte was not qualified:  and; accordingly; the negotiation fell through。  But Miss Bronte was not one to sit down in despair after disappointment。  Much as she disliked the life of a private governess; it was her duty to relieve her father of the burden of her support; and this was the only way open to her。  So she set to advertising and inquiring with fresh vigour。

In the meantime; a little occurrence took place; described in one of her letters; which I shall give; as it shows her instinctive aversion to a particular class of men; whose vices some have supposed she looked upon with indulgence。  The extract tells all that need be known; for the purpose I have in view; of the miserable pair to whom it relates。


〃You remember Mr。 and Mrs。 …?  Mrs。came here the other day; with a most melancholy tale of her wretched husband's drunken; extravagant; profligate habits。  She asked Papa's advice; there was nothing she said but ruin before them。  They owed debts which they could never pay。  She expected Mr。 …'s instant dismissal from his curacy; she knew; from bitter experience; that his vices were utterly hopeless。  He treated her and her child savagely; with much more to the same effect。  Papa advised her to leave him for ever; and go home; if she had a home to go to。  She said; this was what she had long resolved to do; and she would leave him directly; as soon as Mr。 B。 dismissed him。  She expressed great disgust and contempt towards him; and did not affect to have the shadow of regard in any way。  I do not wonder at this; but I do wonder she should ever marry a man towards whom her feelings must always have been pretty much the same as they are now。  I am morally certain no decent woman could experience anything but aversion towards such a man as Mr。 …。  Before I knew; or suspected his character; and when I rather wondered at his versatile talents; I felt it in an uncontrollable degree。  I hated to talk with himhated to look at him; though as I was not certain that there was substantial reason for such a dislike; and thought it absurd to trust to mere instinct; I both concealed and repressed the feeling as much as I could; and; on all occasions; treated him with as much civility as I was mistress of。  I was struck with Mary's expression of a similar feeling at first sight; she said; when we left him; 'That is a hideous man; Charlotte!'  I thought 'He is indeed。'〃



CHAPTER X



Early in March; 1841; Miss Bronte obtained her second and last situation as a governess。  This time she esteemed herself fortunate in becoming a member of a kind…hearted and friendly household。  The master of it; she especially regarded as a valuable friend; whose advice helped to guide her in one very important step of her life。  But as her definite acquirements were few; she had to eke them out by employing her leisure time in needlework; and altogether her position was that of 〃bonne〃 or nursery governess; liable to repeated and never…ending calls upon her time。  This description of uncertain; yet perpetual employment; subject to the exercise of another person's will at all hours of the day; was peculiarly trying to one whose life at home had been full of abundant leisure。  IDLE she never was in any place; but of the multitude of small talks; plans; duties; pleasures; &c。; that make up most people's days; her home life was nearly destitute。  This made it possible for her to go through long and deep histories of feeling and imagination; for which others; odd as it sounds; have rarely time。  This made it inevitable thatlater on; in her too short careerthe intensity of her feeling should wear out her physical health。  The habit of
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