友情提示:如果本网页打开太慢或显示不完整,请尝试鼠标右键“刷新”本网页!阅读过程发现任何错误请告诉我们,谢谢!! 报告错误
飞读中文网 返回本书目录 我的书架 我的书签 TXT全本下载 进入书吧 加入书签

the life of charlotte bronte-1-第34章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!



 conversations; or pauses of silence as agreeable; because each felt that as soon as a thought or remark occurred which they wished to express; there was an intelligent companion ready to sympathise; and yet they were not compelled to 〃make talk。〃

Miss W… was always anxious to afford Miss Bronte every opportunity of recreation in her power; but the difficulty often was to persuade her to avail herself of the invitations which came; urging her to spend Saturday and Sunday with 〃E。〃 and 〃Mary;〃 in their respective homes; that lay within the distance of a walk。 She was too apt to consider; that allowing herself a holiday was a dereliction of duty; and to refuse herself the necessary change; from something of an over…ascetic spirit; betokening a loss of healthy balance in either body or mind。  Indeed; it is clear that such was the case; from a passage; referring to this time; in the letter of 〃Mary〃 from which I have before given extracts。

〃Three years after〃 (the period when they were at school together)〃I heard that she had gone as teacher to Miss W…'s。  I went to see her; and asked how she could give so much for so little money; when she could live without it。  She owned that; after clothing herself and Anne; there was nothing left; though she had hoped to be able to save something。  She confessed it was not brilliant; but what could she do?  I had nothing to answer。 She seemed to have no interest or pleasure beyond the feeling of duty; and; when she could get; used to sit alone; and 'make out。' She told me afterwards; that one evening she had sat in the dressing…room until it was quite dark; and then observing it all at once; had taken sudden fright。〃  No doubt she remembered this well when she described a similar terror getting hold upon Jane Eyre。  She says in the story; 〃I sat looking at the white bed and overshadowed wallsoccasionally turning a fascinated eye towards the gleaming mirrorI began to recall what I had heard of dead men troubled in their graves 。 。 。 I endeavoured to be firm; shaking my hair from my eyes; I lifted my head and tried to look boldly through the dark room; at this moment; a ray from the moon penetrated some aperture in the blind。  No! moon light was still; and this stirred 。 。 。 prepared as my mind was for horror; shaken as my nerves were by agitation; I thought the swift…darting beam was a herald of some coming vision from another world。  My heart beat thick; my head grew hot; a sound filled my ears which I deemed the rustling of wings; something seemed near me。〃 {4}

〃From that time;〃 Mary adds; 〃her imaginations became gloomy or frightful; she could not help it; nor help thinking。  She could not forget the gloom; could not sleep at night; nor attend in the day。

〃She told me that one night; sitting alone; about this time; she heard a voice repeat these lines:


〃'Come thou high and holy feeling; Shine o'er mountain; flit o'er wave; Gleam like light o'er dome and shielding。'


〃There were eight or ten more lines which I forget。  She insisted that she had not made them; that she had heard a voice repeat them。  It is possible that she had read them; and unconsciously recalled them。  They are not in the volume of poems which the sisters published。  She repeated a verse of Isaiah; which she said had inspired them; and which I have forgotten。  Whether the lines were recollected or invented; the tale proves such habits of sedentary; monotonous solitude of thought as would have shaken a feebler mind。〃

Of course; the state of health thus described came on gradually; and is not to be taken as a picture of her condition in 1836。  Yet even then there is a despondency in some of her expressions; that too sadly reminds one of some of Cowper's letters。  And it is remarkable how deeply his poems impressed her。  His words; his verses; came more frequently to her memory; I imagine; than those of any other poet。

〃Mary〃 says:  〃Cowper's poem; 'The Castaway;' was known to them all; and they all at times appreciated; or almost appropriated it。 Charlotte told me once that Branwell had done so; and though his depression was the result of his faults; it was in no other respect different from hers。  Both were not mental but physical illnesses。  She was well aware of this; and would ask how that mended matters; as the feeling was there all the same; and was not removed by knowing the cause。  She had a larger religious toleration than a person would have who had never questioned; and the manner of recommending religion was always that of offering comfort; not fiercely enforcing a duty。  One time I mentioned that some one had asked me what religion I was of (with the view of getting me for a partizan); and that I had said that that was between God and me;Emily (who was lying on the hearth…rug) exclaimed; 'That's right。'  This was all I ever heard Emily say on religious subjects。  Charlotte was free from religious depression when in tolerable health; when that failed; her depression returned。  You have probably seen such instances。  They don't get over their difficulties; they forget them; when their stomach (or whatever organ it is that inflicts such misery on sedentary people) will let them。  I have heard her condemn Socinianism; Calvinism; and many other 'isms' inconsistent with Church of Englandism。  I used to wonder at her acquaintance with such subjects。〃


〃May 10th; 1836。

〃I was struck with the note you sent me with the umbrella; it showed a degree of interest in my concerns which I have no right to expect from any earthly creature。  I won't play the hypocrite; I won't answer your kind; gentle; friendly questions in the way you wish me to。  Don't deceive yourself by imagining I have a bit of real goodness about me。  My darling; if I were like you; I should have my face Zion…ward; though prejudice and error might occasionally fling a mist over the glorious vision before mebut I AM NOT LIKE YOU。  If you knew my thoughts; the dreams that absorb me; and the fiery imagination that at times eats me up; and makes me feel society; as it is; wretchedly insipid; you would pity and I dare say despise me。  But I know the treasures of the BIBLE; I love and adore them。  I can SEE the Well of Life in all its clearness and brightness; but when I stoop down to drink of the pure waters they fly from my lips as if I were Tantalus。

〃You are far too kind and frequent in your invitations。  You puzzle me。  I hardly know how to refuse; and it is still more embarrassing to accept。  At any rate; I cannot come this week; for we are in the very thickest melee of the Repetitions。  I was hearing the terrible fifth section when your note arrived。  But Miss Wooler says I must go to Mary next Friday; as she promised for me on Whit…Sunday; and on Sunday morning I will join you at church; if it be convenient; and stay till Monday。  There's a free and easy proposal!  Miss W… has driven me to it。  She says her character is implicated。〃

Good; kind Miss W…! however monotonous and trying were the duties Charlotte had to perform under her roof; there was always a genial and thoughtful friend watching over her; and urging her to partake of any little piece of innocent recreation that might come in her way。  And in those Midsumme
返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0
未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
温馨提示: 温看小说的同时发表评论,说出自己的看法和其它小伙伴们分享也不错哦!发表书评还可以获得积分和经验奖励,认真写原创书评 被采纳为精评可以获得大量金币、积分和经验奖励哦!