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es long an' tu'ns de handle an' let's de fuss come pilin' out。 Bimeby deyll git ter makin' sho' nuff fokes； an' den dere'll be a racket 'roun' here。 Dey tells me dat it goes off like one er deze yer torpedoes。〃
〃You year dat； don't you？〃 said one or two of the younger negroes。
〃Dat's w'at dey tells me；〃 continued Uncle Remus。 〃Dat's w'at dey sez。 Hit's one er deze yer kinder w'atzisnames w'at sasses back w'en you hollers at it。〃
〃W'at dey fix um fer； den？〃 asked one of the practical negroes。
'Dat's w'at I wanter know；〃 said Uncle Remus； contemplatively。 〃But dat's w'at Miss Sally wnz a readin' in de paper。 All you gotter do is ter holler at de box； an' dar's yo' remarks。 Dey goes in； an' dar dey er tooken and dar dey hangs on twel you shakes de box； an' den dey draps out des ez fresh ez deze yer fishes w'at you git fum Savannah； an' you ain't got time fer ter look at dere gills； nudder。〃
VIII RACE IMPROVEMENT
〃Dere's a kind er limberness 'bout niggers dese days dat's mighty cu'us；〃 remarked Uncle Remus yesterday； as he deposited a pitcher of fresh water upon the exchange table。 〃I notisses it in de alley…ways an on de street…cornders。 Dey er rackin' up； mon； deze yer cullud fokes is。〃
〃What are you trying to give us now？〃 inquired one of the young men； in a bilious tone。
〃The old man's mind is wandering；〃 said the society editor； smoothing the wrinkles out of his lavender kids。
Uncle Remus laughed。 I speck I is a gittin' mo frailer dan I wnz 'fo' de fahmin days wuz over； but I sees wid my eyes an' I years wid my year； same ez enny er dese yer young bucks w'at goes a gallopin' roun' huntin' up devilment； an' w'en I sees de limberness er dese yer cullud people； an' w'en I sees how dey er dancin' up； den I gits sorter hopeful。 Dey er kindcr ketchin' up wid me。〃
〃How is that？〃
〃Oh； dey er movin'；〃 responded Uncle Remus。 〃Dey er sorter comin' 'roun'。 Dey er gittin' so dey bleeve dat dey ain't no better dan de w'ite fokes。 W'en freedom come out de niggers sorter got dere humps up； an' dey staid dat way； twel bimeby dey begun fer ter git hongry； an' den dey begun fer ter drap inter line right smartually； an' now； conhnued the old man； emphatically； 〃dey er des ez palaverous ez dey wuz befo' de war。 Dey er gittin' on solid groun'； mon。〃
〃You think they are improving； then？〃
〃Youer chawin' guv'nment now； boss。 You slap de law onter a nigger a time er two； an' lam 'im dat he's got fer to look after his own rashuns an' keep out'n udder fokes's chick'n…coops； an' sorter coax 'im inter de idee dat he's got ter feed 'is own chilluns； an' I be blessed ef you ain't got 'im on risin' groun'。 An'； mo'n dat； w'en he gits holt er de fack dat a nigger k'n have yaller fever same ez w'ite folks； you done got 'im on de mo'ners' bench； an' den ef you come down Strong on de p'int dat he oughter stan' fas' by de fokes w'at hope him w'en he wnz in trouble de job's done。 W'en you does dat； ef you ain't got yo' han's on a new…made nigger； den my name ain't Remus。 an' ef dat name's bin changed I ain't seen her abbertized；〃
IX IN THE ROLE OF A TARTAR
A CHARLESTON negro who was in Atlanta on the Fourth of July made a mistake。 He saw Uncle Remus edging his way through the crowd； and thought he knew him。
〃Howdy； Daddy Ben？〃 the stranger exclaimed。 〃I tink I nubber see you no mo'。 Wey you gwan？ He hot fer true； ain't he？〃
〃Daddy who？〃 asked Uncle Remus； straightening himself up with dignity。 〃W'ich？〃
〃I know you in Charrson； an' den in Sewanny。 I spec I dun grow away from 'membrance。〃
〃You knowed me in Charlstun； and den in Savanny？〃
〃He been long time； ain't he； Daddy Ben？〃
〃Dat's w'at's a pesterin' un me。 How much you reckon you know'd me？〃
〃He good while pas'； when I wer' pickaninny。 He long time ago。 Wey you gwan； Daddy Ben？〃
〃W'at does you season your recollection wid fer ter make it hole on so？〃 inquired the old man。
〃I dunno。 He stick hese'f。 I see you comm' 'long 'n I say 'Dey Daddy Ben。' I tink I see you no mo'； an' I shaky you by de han'。 Wey you gwan？ Dey no place yer wey we git wine？〃
Uncle Remus stared at the strange darkey curiously for a moment； and then he seized him by the arm。
〃Come yer； son； whar dey ain't no folks an' lemme drap some Jawjy 'intment in dem years er yone。 Youer mighty fur ways fum home； an' you wanter be a lookin' out fer yo'se'f。 Fus and fo'mus； youer thumpin' de wrong watermillion。 Youer w'isslin' up de wrong chube。 I ain't tromped roun' de country much。 I ain't bin to Charlstun an' needer is I tuck in Savanny； but you couldn't rig up no game on me dat I wouldn't tumble on to it de minit I laid my eyeballs on you。 W'en hit come to dat I'm ole man Tumbler； fum Tumblersville…I is dat。 Hit takes one er deze yer full…blooded w'ite men fur ter trap my jedgment。 But w'en a nigger comes a jabberin' 'roun' like he got a mouf full er rice straw； he ain't got no mo' chance long side er me dan a sick sparrer wid a squinch…owl。 You gutter travel wid a circus 'fo' you gits away wid me。 You better go long an' git yo' kyarpet…sack and skip de town。 Youer de freshest nigger w'at I seen yit。〃
The Charleston negro passed on just as a police…man' came up。
〃Boss； you see dat smart Ellick？〃
〃Yes； what's the matter with him？〃
〃He's one er deze yer scurshun niggers from Charistun。 I seed you a stannin' over agin de cornder yander； an' ef dat nigger'd a drawd his monty kyards on me； I wuz a gwineter holler fer you。 Would youer come； boss？〃
〃Why； certaiuly； Uncle Remus。〃
〃Dat's w'at I lowd。 Little more'n he'd a bin aboard er de wrong waggin。 Dat's Wat he'd a bin。〃
X A CASE OF MEASLES
〃YOU'VE been looking like you were rather under the weather for the past week or two； Uncle Remus；〃 said a gentleman to the old man。
〃You'd be sorter puny； too； boss； if you'der bin whar I bin。〃
〃Where have you been？〃
〃Pear ter me like ev'eybody done year 'bout dat。 Dey ain't no ole nigger my age an' size dat's had no rattliner time dan I is。〃
〃A kind of picnic？〃
〃Go long； boss！ w'at you speck I be doin' sailin' 'roun' ter dese yer cullud picnics？ Much mo' an' I wouldn't make bread by wulkiin fer't； let 'lone follerin' up a passel er boys an' gals all over keration。 Boss； ain't you year 'bout it； sho' 'nuff？〃
〃I haven't； really。 What was the matter？〃
〃1 got strucken wid a sickness； an' she hit de ole nigger a joe…darter 'fo' she tu'n 'im loose。〃
〃What kind of sickness？〃
〃Hit look sorter cu'ous； boss； but ole an' steddy ez I is； I tuck'n kotch de meezies。〃
〃Oh； get out！ You are trying to get up a sensation。〃
〃Hit's a natal fack； boss； I declar' ter grashus ef 'tain't。 Dey sorter come on wid a cole； like…leas'ways dat's how I commence fer ter suffer； an' den er koff got straddle er de cole…one dese yer koffs w'at look like bit goes ter de foundash'n。 I kep' on linger'n' 'roun' sorter keepin' one eye on the rheumatiz an' de udder on de distemper； twel； bimeby； I begin fer ter feel de trestle…wuk give way； an' den I des know'd dat I wnz givineter gitter racket。 I slipt inter bed one Chuseday night； an' I never slip out no mo' fer mighty nigh er mont'。
〃Nex' mornin' de meezles 'd done kivered me； an' den ef I didn't git dosted by de ole 'oman I