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and although I have not the audacity to pretend that I know anything
of them； I can no more reconcile the mere banging of doors； ringing
of bells； creaking of boards； and such…like insignificances； with
the majestic beauty and pervading analogy of all the Divine rules
that I am permitted to understand； than I had been able； a little
while before； to yoke the spiritual intercourse of my fellow…
traveller to the chariot of the rising sun。 Moreover； I had lived
in two haunted housesboth abroad。 In one of these； an old Italian
palace； which bore the reputation of being very badly haunted
indeed； and which had recently been twice abandoned on that account；
I lived eight months； most tranquilly and pleasantly：
notwithstanding that the house had a score of mysterious bedrooms；
which were never used； and possessed； in one large room in which I
sat reading； times out of number at all hours； and next to which I
slept； a haunted chamber of the first pretensions。 I gently hinted
these considerations to the landlord。 And as to this particular
house having a bad name； I reasoned with him； Why； how many things
had bad names undeservedly； and how easy it was to give bad names；
and did he not think that if he and I were persistently to whisper
in the village that any weird…looking old drunken tinker of the
neighbourhood had sold himself to the Devil； he would come in time
to be suspected of that commercial venture！ All this wise talk was
perfectly ineffective with the landlord； I am bound to confess； and
was as dead a failure as ever I made in my life。
To cut this part of the story short； I was piqued about the haunted
house； and was already half resolved to take it。 So； after
breakfast； I got the keys from Perkins's brother…in…law （a whip and
harness maker； who keeps the Post Office； and is under submission to
a most rigorous wife of the Doubly Seceding Little Emmanuel
persuasion）； and went up to the house； attended by my landlord and
by Ikey。
Within； I found it； as I had expected； transcendently dismal。 The
slowly changing shadows waved on it from the heavy trees； were
doleful in the last degree； the house was ill…placed； ill…built；
ill…planned； and ill…fitted。 It was damp； it was not free from dry
rot； there was a flavour of rats in it； and it was the gloomy victim
of that indescribable decay which settles on all the work of man's
hands whenever it's not turned to man's account。 The kitchens and
offices were too large； and too remote from each other。 Above
stairs and below； waste tracts of passage intervened between patches
of fertility represented by rooms； and there was a mouldy old well
with a green growth upon it； hiding like a murderous trap； near the
bottom of the back…stairs； under the double row of bells。 One of
these bells was labelled； on a black ground in faded white letters；
MASTER B。 This； they told me； was the bell that rang the most。
〃Who was Master B。？〃 I asked。 〃Is it known what he did while the
owl hooted？〃
〃Rang the bell；〃 said Ikey。
I was rather struck by the prompt dexterity with which this young
man pitched his fur cap at the bell； and rang it himself。 It was a
loud； unpleasant bell； and made a very disagreeable sound。 The
other bells were inscribed according to the names of the rooms to
which their wires were conducted： as 〃Picture Room；〃 〃Double Room；〃
〃Clock Room；〃 and the like。 Following Master B。's bell to its
source I found that young gentleman to have had but indifferent
third…class accommodation in a triangular cabin under the cock…loft；
with a corner fireplace which Master B。 must have been exceedingly
small if he were ever able to warm himself at； and a corner chimney…
piece like a pyramidal staircase to the ceiling for Tom Thumb。 The
papering of one side of the room had dropped down bodily； with
fragments of plaster adhering to it； and almost blocked up the door。
It appeared that Master B。； in his spiritual condition； always made
a point of pulling the paper down。 Neither the landlord nor Ikey
could suggest why he made such a fool of himself。
Except that the house had an immensely large rambling loft at top； I
made no other discoveries。 It was moderately well furnished； but
sparely。 Some of the furnituresay； a thirdwas as old as the
house； the rest was of various periods within the last half…century。
I was referred to a corn…chandler in the market…place of the county
town to treat for the house。 I went that day； and I took it for six
months。
It was just the middle of October when I moved in with my maiden
sister （I venture to call her eight…and…thirty； she is so very
handsome； sensible； and engaging）。 We took with us； a deaf stable…
man； my bloodhound Turk； two women servants； and a young person
called an Odd Girl。 I have reason to record of the attendant last
enumerated； who was one of the Saint Lawrence's Union Female
Orphans； that she was a fatal mistake and a disastrous engagement。
The year was dying early； the leaves were falling fast； it was a raw
cold day when we took possession； and the gloom of the house was
most depressing。 The cook （an amiable woman； but of a weak turn of
intellect） burst into tears on beholding the kitchen； and requested
that her silver watch might be delivered over to her sister （2
Tuppintock's Gardens； Liggs's Walk； Clapham Rise）； in the event of
anything happening to her from the damp。 Streaker； the housemaid；
feigned cheerfulness； but was the greater martyr。 The Odd Girl； who
had never been in the country； alone was pleased； and made
arrangements for sowing an acorn in the garden outside the scullery
window； and rearing an oak。
We went； before dark； through all the naturalas opposed to
supernaturalmiseries incidental to our state。 Dispiriting reports
ascended （like the smoke） from the basement in volumes； and
descended from the upper rooms。 There was no rolling…pin； there was
no salamander （which failed to surprise me； for I don't know what it
is）； there was nothing in the house； what there was； was broken； the
last people must have lived like pigs； what could the meaning of the
landlord be？ Through these distresses； the Odd Girl was cheerful
and exemplary。 But within four hours after dark we had got into a
supernatural groove； and the Odd Girl had seen 〃Eyes；〃 and was in
hysterics。
My sister and I had agreed to keep the haunting strictly to
ourselves； and my impression was； and still is； that I had not left
Ikey； when he helped to unload the cart； alone with the women； or
any one of them； for one minute。 Nevertheless； as I say； the Odd
Girl had 〃seen Eyes〃 （no other explanation could ever be drawn from
her）； before nine； and by ten o'clock had had as much vinegar
applied to her as would pickle a handsome salmon。
I leave a discerning public to judge of my feelings； when； under
these untoward circumstances； at about half…past ten o'clock Master
B。's bell began to ring in a most infur