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George Eliot ElecBook Classics
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Adam Bede 276
married； and yet how hard she would think it if he asked her to
leave him！ Yes； there was a great deal of pain to be gone through
with his mother； but it was a case in which he must make her feel
that his will was strong—it would be better for her in the end。 For
himself； he would have liked that they should all live together till
Seth was married； and they might have built a bit themselves to
the old house； and made more room。 He did not like “to part wi’
th’ lad”： they had hardly every been separated for more than a day
since they were born。
But Adam had no sooner caught his imagination leaping
forward in this way—making arrangements for an uncertain
future—than he checked himself。 “A pretty building I’m making；
without either bricks or timber。 I’m up i’ the garret a’ready； and
haven’t so much as dug the foundation。” Whenever Adam was
strongly convinced of any proposition； it took the form of a
principle in his mind： it was knowledge to be acted on； as much as
the knowledge that damp will cause rust。 Perhaps here lay the
secret of the hardness he had accused himself of： he had too little
fellow…feeling with the weakness that errs in spite of foreseen
consequences。 Without this fellow…feeling； how are we to get
enough patience and charity towards our stumbling； falling
companions in the long and changeful journey？ And there is but
one way in which a strong determined soul can learn it—by
getting his heart…strings bound round the weak and erring； so that
he must share not only the outward consequence of their error；
but their inward suffering。 That is a long and hard lesson； and
Adam had at present only learned the alphabet of it in his father’s
sudden death； which； by annihilating in an instant all that had
stimulated his indignation； had sent a sudden rush of thought and
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Adam Bede 277
memory over what had claimed his pity and tenderness。
But it was Adam’s strength； not its correlative hardness； that
influenced his meditations this morning。 He had long made up his
mind that it would be wrong as well as foolish for him to marry a
blooming young girl； so long as he had no other prospect than that
of growing poverty with a growing family。 And his savings had
been so constantly drawn upon （besides the terrible sweep of
paying for Seth’s substitute in the militia） that he had not enough
money beforehand to furnish even a small cottage； and keep
something in reserve against a rainy day。 He had good hope that
he should be “firmer on his legs” by and by； but he could not be
satisfied with a vague confidence in his arm and brain； he must
have definite plans； and set about them at once。 The partnership
with Jonathan Burge was not to be thought of at present—there
were things implicitly tacked to it that he could not accept； but
Adam thought that he and Seth might carry on a little business for
themselves in addition to their journeyman’s work； by buying a
small stock of superior wood and making articles of household
furniture； for which Adam had no end of contrivances。 Seth might
gain more by working at separate jobs under Adam’s direction
than by his journeyman’s work； and Adam； in his over…hours；
could do all the “nice” work that required peculiar skill。 The
money gained in this way； with the good wages he received as
foreman； would soon enable them to get beforehand with the
world； so sparingly as they would all live now。 No sooner had this
little plan shaped itself in his mind than he began to be busy with
exact calculations about the wood to be bought and the particular
article of furniture that should be undertaken first—a kitchen
cupboard of his own contrivance； with such an ingenious
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Adam Bede 278
arrangement of sliding…doors and bolts； such convenient nooks for
stowing household provender； and such a symmetrical result to
the eye； that every good housewife would be in raptures with it；
and fall through all the gradations of melancholy longing till her
husband promised to buy it for her。 Adam pictured to himself Mrs。
Poyser examining it with her keen eye and trying in vain to find
out a deficiency； and； of course； close to Mrs。 Poyser stood Hetty；
and Adam was again beguiled from calculations and contrivances
into dreams and hopes。 Yes； he would go and see her this
evening—it was so long since he had been at the Hall Farm。 He
would have liked to go to the night…school； to see why Bartle
Massey had not been at church yesterday； for he feared his old
friend was ill； but； unless he could manage both visits； this last
must be put off till to…morrow—the desire to be near Hetty and to
speak to her again was too strong。
As he made up his mind to this； he was coming very near to the
end of his walk； within the sound of the hammers at work on the
refitting of the old house。 The sound of tools to a clever workman
who loves his work is like the tentative sounds of the orchestra to
the violinist who has to bear his part in the overture： the strong
fibres begin their accustomed thrill； and what was a moment
before joy； vexation； or ambition； begins its change into energy。 All
passion becomes strength when it has an outlet from the narrow
limits of our personal lot in the labour of our right arm； the
cunning of our right hand； or the still； creative activity of our
thought。 Look at Adam through the rest of the day； as he stands on